


Mistaken

by cassidyelaine



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I'm Sorry, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Panic Attacks, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, She had to go, Smut, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-05-24 19:37:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 45,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14960864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassidyelaine/pseuds/cassidyelaine
Summary: "Woah, what was that' Without looking up you sent anther blast towards the overly excited voice and immediately heard an oomph followed by the sound of a body rushing towards the pavement. Or, rather, a dumpster. "Hey not cool," said the guy, poking his head up and out of the dumpster. Spider-Man. *A new recruit is brought into the fold and is more than a handful.





	1. You Don't Need to Save Me

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfic and it's going to be a big one. Right now I have about six chapters ready to go. It is a Soulmates AU but not in the traditional way. That won't show up until later chapters. I'm going to try to keep end game a secret the best I can. I have some very angsty ups and downs planned but I'm trying to hold back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter updated 7/8/18

I ran, dodging rats, and clumps of unidentified garbage that lay literal feet from a plethora of garbage cans and dumpsters. God I hated this city.

I especially hated this city in the rain, dashing through back alleys of Queens with all of my belongings in tow.

Rolling in and out of huge asphalt craters, my suitcases jostled my already pained arm. It had only been three or so hours since I’d reset the dislocated joint against my fire escape.

Blood dripped from a split along my hairline, mingling with sweat and city rain water. At this point I felt like a drowned cat and probably smelled like a wet dog. Super, awesomely attractive, right?

Bracing myself against the wall of the nearest building, I pulled a flask out of the interior pocket of my jacket and took a swig. The flask was light pink with the words “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” emblazoned on the side. It filled me with a dark sense of glee and irony every time I used it. I nicked it from one of those chain party supply stores a few months back, which I supposed could be my version of fun.

The whiskey burned as it went down but as it hit my stomach it helped to warm my rain soaked bones.

I began moving again. As I wove in and out of the misshapen piles in the alleyway, I felt the hair prickle on the back of my neck. It felt like I had a curious pair of eyes, tracking my every move and staring me down. I ignored my most basic instinct to turn around and investigate and my training kicked in instead. My eyes sweat the alleyway ahead of me, monitoring the shadows, ears open and head down. I checked every shiny surface to see the reflection behind me. Empty alleyways are all that I was shown. So I shoved aside my intrusive paranoia and started whistling tunelessly as I moved. I’d felt that prickle for days and nothing had come of it.

In front of me, business lights filtered through the rain, casting a glow over the stone walls. Wet, sputtering and a little drunk, it only made sense that I was the target of some less friendly men who had stationed themselves outside of a local dive bar. They jeered and reached out at me. “Piss off you assholes, I’m not in the mood.”

Their jabs ranged from demands that I take off my clothes, false coos asking me if I needed their help to warm up and jokes about them being so good in bed women were jumping at the chance and willing to move in with them immediately to lock it down.

The rain got harder as I clenched my fist, glaring daggers at them and trying to subtly move faster. Everything about my body language screamed 'don't fuck with me', but it's hard to be intimidating when you're a generous 5'3. They advanced anyways and with a woosh, they all got tossed back into the brick wall, hard. The crack of a few skulls echoed down the empty alley, interrupted only by their groans as a few immediately came to.

The tingling on the back of my neck got more intense, this time joined by a fuzzy feeling alarm in the back of my brain. I hustled along, eager to get the hell out of Queens. I hadn't taken more than three steps when I heard him. “Woah, what was that? I webbed up those guys back there, they won't be able to move for a few hours. What was that though, can you like manipulate energy or is this outside the realm of earthly physics? Are you an alien? Or a mutant maybe? Or..."

Without looking up I sent anther blast towards the overly excited voice and immediately heard an oomph followed by the sound of a body rushing towards the pavement. Or, rather, a dumpster.

“Hey not cool,” said the guy, poking his head up and out of the dumpster.

I groaned, immediately recognizing the mask, despite it being covered in what looked a lot like smashed avocado on the left side of the heroes head. Spider-Man.

Pushing my bags together, around my feet, I bound them to myself and alighted on the nearest rooftop, gently floating upward. I figured the enhanced cat was already out of the bag with current company, so to speak. I ran along the flat roofs of the decrepit, abandoned buildings with still no destination in mind but out.

“Wait up, where are you going, stop! We're friends now right? It's rude to ignore your friends, and I'm the friendliest of friends, you know. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and all...” he babbled on lamely, his voice fading in and out as he swung between buildings, keeping up as I hopped from roof to roof. 

“Buzz off buggy”, I grumbled before sending another shot his way.

“You’re really bad at paying attention to where I am, aren’t you” Spidey suddenly whispered in my ear. I shrieked and came to a halt, dropping my luggage next to me as I sat to dangle my feet off the ledge of whatever shitty building I was on now. As expected, that lanky ass fool sat down right next to me.

“So, where are you going, miss uh… strange power lady?”

“I don’t kno-” I cut myself off and looked at him strangely. “Wait, why are you even here?”

“Well funny story," he huffed out, looking over at me. His masked eyes contracted as he continued to just look at me in silence for several minutes. I was seconds away from physically shoving him off of the building. For someone who apparently couldn't keep his mouth shut when I wanted him to, he was as silent and one of those monks now when I actually wanted to hear his whiny voice. Then, just as I was about to snap, he lifted his chin and squared his shoulders.

"Have you ever heard of the Avengers?”


	2. Lady of the Winds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a longer chapter but still a lot of dialogue. Please leave feedback. There's a lot of hidden shit and hints about secrets that you'll come to discover later. I'm so excited to see some reactions.

Like any normal person on the planet, I obviously had. I may not have been in New York while it was being levelled by aliens over a decade ago, but a person would have to be seriously deprived of outside stimuli to not know who the Avengers were. 

Instead of speaking to the impertinent, entirely too perky Avenger at my side, I just glared, sending a message loud enough that even the most inept individual would comprehend me. 

“Woah, woah, don’t shoot! You could be like, a really weird and reclusive alien for all I know at this point. The boss didn’t exactly give me all the details when he sent me out to trail you. I don’t even know your name, which tells me that we actually don’t know a whole lot about you…,” he trailed off his rambling as he finally realized I was now staring at him expectantly, waiting to get a word in edgewise. 

“My name is Kaida, and I’m not a good person. Also, thanks for the invitation to join your little cult, put I’m going to have to pass.” I stood to leave and find shelter for tonight when all of a sudden a schnick sounded and webbing surrounded my foot, holding me in place. 

That sneaky little son of a bitch.

“No can do, we’re going to talk this one out. Either you agree to come in and meet the team or you get to sit here all night and listen to me ramble about them and what ridiculously stupid things we’ve all been up to in the past few months. Your call… Kaida.” He said my name as though it could take form, leap up and bite him.

“Okay Spider, I see you want to play hardball. You take that mask off and I’ll come with you to ‘meet the team’ or whatever touchy-feely bullshit y’all are into over there. But I’m not agreeing without some kind of skin in the game other than my own.” I lifted my chin, triumphantly, secure in the knowledge that he would never reveal his identity to a complete stranger, especially while various factions of the government and private entities were trying to round up enhanced individuals. 

Spidey scoffed. “That’s it? It’s not like I was going to leave it on once we got to the tower anyways so, here you go I guess,” and he ripped away his mask as though it didn’t faze him in the slightest.

He was… younger than I had expected. Cute, in a safe, boring school boy kind of way.

“What are you, twelve??” I all but shouted at him. There’s no way this kid was the real deal, a bona fide Avenger that had helped save numerous lives, my own included if you count what happened just a few years back. 

“I’m twenty-two, thanks though. If I’m twelve, I’ve gotta say you’re a toddler. Granted, a toddler with wicked skills but it’s not like you’re even really an adult at this point are you? Why aren’t you with your pare-.”

“For one thing, they’re dead. Secondly, I’m twenty but I guarantee you I’ve seen shit that you can’t really even comprehend. Even outside of all the crazy whack alien bullshit you all seem to be attracting. It really ages a person, or so I’ve heard.”

“Oh look at you, pulling the big bad ‘I’m so tough because I’m an orphan and my life wasn’t sunshine and roses’ act. Literally everyone has bad shit happen to them. From what I’ve just seen and from what we’ve caught on security monitors, you’re wickedly talented and could actually use your powers to help others. Unless you’re too much of a coward, I know we do deal with ‘crazy whack aliens’ and all, but it shouldn’t be hard for a big kid like yourself, huh?”

I had half a mind to blow him off the roof right then and there. Rage swirled in the pit of my gut so violently, I might have vomited had I eaten at all in the past day or so. The wind picked up and began buffeting around the Spider guy and myself, throwing debris from decrepit roof and buildings towards us. All of the shrapnel conveniently avoided my person, but spidey was dancing back and forth like a puppet on a string. 

Deep breaths Kaida, deep breaths. We wouldn’t want another Wizard of Oz-esque incident. Again. I often found myself talking to myself in different perspectives to calm down. Anger, improperly channeled was a very dangerous thing for me, and honestly, I was being a brat just like he was. No need to level an entire city block just for this one intrusive, presumptuous asshat who dressed up like a fucking spider. I wasn’t about to tell him that though. 

The wind died down almost immediately. Until it didn’t.

Not a minute later, the biggest bolt of lightning I’d ever seen struck a building a block or so away, no doubt short circuiting every device plugged in at that residence. Two seconds later there was a solid thunk and next to Spider-Man loomed perhaps the most handsome being in the known universe, Thor. King of Asgard.

“You hit your panic button Man of Spiders. Are you in need of assistance… carrying bags?” Thor looked at you, tied down, and your bags tossed askew, then back at spidey. Quizzically, he opened his palm and sent a burst of lightning up into the sky, as if looking for something. “All seems to be in perfectly good spirits here, no strange magics… so.”

“Listen man, two minutes ago she was literally shaking the building so hard I thought we were all going down. I just don’t know how… all I did was ask her some questions, maybe play hard ball with her a little,” he just shrugged at the god apologetically.

“Hi, I exist too, and I can speak for myself,” I asserted, repositioning my body so I wasn’t standing quite so hunched over. “We,” I continued, looking at Spidey, “would love your assistance in getting my bags back to wherever this team inspection or meeting is supposed to happen.” Anything to get inside and secure, before I lost it completely.

“As you wish, Lady of the Winds,” Thor almost yelled, thrusting a cane into the sky.

“No, Thor wai-.”

Before the insect could finish whatever he was trying to say, we were engulfed in a kaleidoscope of bright colors and rushed away in the blink of an eye. 

So much for having a normal, Wednesday evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up later today. I promise never to post a chapter with less than 1K words, and I'm shooting for even more per chapter but we'll see. Big things are coming. The rating will absolutely be changed in later chapters, of that I'm all but certain. Your comments and kudos give me the strength to go on. Thanks!


	3. Cursed from the First Old Fashioned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get messy and so does Kaida. We all have our past traumas. But not all coping mechanisms are created equally.
> 
> Or: two kindred spirits find themselves at the right time for the wrong reasons.

The nightmares were relentless. Watching your sister literally turn into dust before your eyes would probably to that to anyone. However, while I still suffered and could rarely sleep, it seemed that the world had all but moved on. Everyone was back and grateful to be. 

I never would be again. Nadia and I, we had a telepathic connection, not unlike that of soulmates, biologically. Or so we were told. To feel that instantly ripped away from me, well, let’s just say things got bloody and fast. But that’s not something I ever wanted to think of again.

And because the universe had some grudge against me, particularly, she never returned. Whatever fates guided the justice of the stones had decided not to return her. 

Her last words both haunted and condemned me. 

She lay on the couch, fading, a pleading look entering her eyes. “Find him Kay, you’re all he has now of his real family. Find him.” Him. Her son. Kept a secret from everyone, even our employers. She’d given him up for his own safety, knowing that the alternative was a lifetime of experiments and servitude. But of course we kept tabs on him as he grew, a bouncing three year old with shiny blonde hair and a personality bigger than this world. 

I had failed to save her, and even now had never looked for him. Not after that day. So every night I would relieve that moment, over and over again, that agony, despair and overwhelming guilt. 

Sometimes, I could swear I still felt her in my mind, filling the cavernous vacancy that was her.

Thank god I had my own kitchen. The fewer questions I had to answer the better. 

My official training had been postponed due to a long mission the Captain and Wanda were on overseas. Stark was guest lecturing at MIT for a few weeks, something about the interconnected worlds of science and mysticism. But because everyone was off on separate secret missions, I was in an empty tower. Even Clint and Natasha were nowhere to be seen.

 

I’d been living at Avengers Tower for a few days with this same routine when finally, I got restless and decided I needed to break out. I’d never done well with cages, no matter how high tech.

Director Nick Fury had run down all the rules and curfews for new recruits. 

Spidey had actually been the person forced to help me unpack my meager belongings into my new suite of rooms. It was probably the only time I’d smiled since that night.

I’d managed to get out of that place with a backpack, duffle bag and two suitcases. Peter had lifted the larger of the two suitcases rather easily but still gave me an incredulous look. 

“What did you put in here? Bricks???” He stooped down and unzipped the case, his goofy plaid shirt untucking from his khakis, exposing the briefest glimpse of rippling lean muscles. 

“What the-,” he choked out in that silly high pitched voice of his, that was actually kind of adorable. “You ran away, from whatever it is that you ran from… and you packed your biggest suitcase full of books?”

I had simply shrugged and replied, “I’m nothing if not totally impractical at all times,” before turning on my heel and carrying the duffle bag to the walk in closet. I had felt Peter’s eyes on my back the whole way there until you kicked the door shut, more out of playful spite than anything. 

Anywho, because of all the ruckus, the extent of my powers hadn’t been catalogued or tested, so it was very unlikely they were prepared for your ability to fade into the shadows of any place I existed.

In my bathroom, after having showered, shaved and put my best ‘fuck me’ face of makeup, I pulled one a white lace body suit, with deep, scalloped cleavage and floating transparent sleeves and a pair of nearly tattered, high-waisted daisy dukes. Paired with white stiletto combat boots, it was a killer outfit. 

Melting into the shadows, I caught myself grinning in twisted anticipation and flitted out the door. 

 

The club was packed, which was perfect for me after about two drinks. My anxiety with crowds melted away and I was finally able to give in and fade into the pulsing rhythm of the crowd. Here, I was truly invisible. 

Crowds only served to remind me of a time in my life that was best left forgotten. 

Deep breaths, Kaida, deep breaths. 

When the breathing stopped working, there was always tequila. One shot, two. 

Ten.

Dancing on other people, on the bars and chairs and tables. For the first time in months I felt my inhibitions lift. I even made some drunk friends in the bathroom. The sober one among them was able to get me in a cab right before last call and I directed him to Avengers Tower.

My skin crawled the entire way back, heat rushing down my spine and spreading throughout my body. Apparently I still had some steam to work off. Luckily I had just the B.O.B.

Fanning myself, I reached into the little pearly clutch I kept with me on nights like these and grabbed a hair tie, pulling my tumbling curls up and off my neck, praying to instantly transported back to my room. I wasn’t totally positive my body didn’t have spontaneous combustion on the agenda.

Fortunately, that’s when my cab driver announced we had reached our destination. I paid him and tipped quite handsomely, as I hadn’t really had to pay for any of my drinks that night, or pay the entrance fee. Mutant perks and all.

Despite my inebriated state, I was able to lift off and fly up to the floor that held my rooms, once I was in the gaping lobby of the tower..

Only one problem. Every door looked the same. 

Stopping in front of the door that looked the most like my own in this drunken stupor, I took a moment before collapsing through the door, only to find an older man sitting at the kitchenette counter, nursing what looked to be about his sixth scotch and holding an ice pack to his left eye.

The man was attractive. Old enough to be my dad, but fine as hell. 

His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as he took in the full state of my undress in sweaty club clothes and he shifted uncomfortably on the metal stool he sat upon. 

“You, sir, are just what the doctor ordered,” I said as I swaggered toward him. As I approached his stool, I reached toward his face, as though I intended to cradle it in my palm, his eyes glazing over with desire and intoxication, before faking him out as he began to lean in and snatching the tumbler out of his hands and downing the entirety of the contents.

He gasped, whether in indignation or out of pure attraction I was unsure.

“That scotch you just drained like swill costs about $13,000. By the way, who are you and what are you doing in my rooms? And aren’t you a little young to be drinking and going out looking like… like-“, he cut himself off as I slid my barely covered ass up and back onto the counter he was perching in front of. 

“Does it matter who I am,” I asked, tipping my head to the side with an exaggerated pout from my crimson painted lips. “But if you must know, my name is Kai, and I’m more than old enough to know how to keep up with a guy like you, Mr. Stark.”

He groaned at the sound of my rough, ‘sex voice’ using such formalities with him. Tony looked me up and down, staring as I tantalizingly slid my hand up my thigh, pulling my shorts higher and higher, revealing your lace covered sex bit by bit. After all, these shorts were mostly holes with a side of denim and loose enough to give everyone a sneak peek. My knees were shoulder level with Tony Stark’s shoulders, the Iron Man, more or less my new boss/landlord, but I couldn’t care less. 

“See something you like Mr. Stark,” I purred at him in that voice again. This snapped Tony to attention and he shot to his feet, crowding my space, forcing my back down flat on the counter top.

“I’d like it a lot better if you’d shut up and let me take you right here.” 

“How presumptuous of you Mr. Stark, you’re old enough to be my father. Do you really think you could handle me?” The line would have landed a lot better if I hadn’t also let out a breathless gasp as Tony forcefully pulled your knees apart and rubbed his nose along my clothed slit, his facial hair scraping my inner thigh, sending flurries of pleasure up my spine, my flash breaking out in goose-bumps. 

“We’ll see if you can handle someone with my expertise little girl, just don’t call me daddy,” he growled before ripping my pants down to your ankles and tossing them behind his head before he ripped off my body suit out of impatience despite my protests that quickly dissipated as he began to feast and suck up all my wetness, tongue pistoning in and out, driving my senses wild. He had me falling apart around him in minutes, obviously more talented than any other man I’d ever been with. 

“That’s one Ms. Stone, how many more do you think you can take?” Tony teased me as I struggled to sit upright after that onslaught. Instead of answering, I kissed him, hard. Teeth banging together and tongues exploring each other’s mouths I was decently surprised to discover he tasted like honey and blackberries as well as me. 

Tony lifted me up and off the counter by gripping my ass and sliding me towards him, encouraging me to wrap my still trembling legs around his waist.

Instead of complying, I pried myself out of his grasp and slid down to my knees in front of him, palming his clothed hard on. 

“I believe this is what they call reciprocation Stark. Or perhaps, payback.”

The night continued on as such until you both were sated and absolutely exhausted. 

 

The next morning I woke up right before 7 am with the urgent need to relieve myself. Yanking with my slightly enhanced strength, I pulled the bed sheet out from under Tony, opting to rush out the door and into my own room. Pulling the door towards myself, I was hit with bright hallways and muttered conversations. 

Quietly cursing my luck, I pulled the bed sheet tighter around my cleavage before lifting my chin high and proudly marching down the corridor to my own chambers. 

I heard Pietro mutter a question to Peter, whose eyes were bulging out of their sockets. “She’s uh… she’s the new recruit we brought in while you all were in Wakanda… Did she just come out of Mr. Stark’s rooms??”

“Take a picture boys, it’ll last longer,” I had finally reached her door, having passed the two gawking boys when she let Tony’s sheet pool around my ankles, revealing my slim stomach, ample cleavage pushed up by my white lace bra and her shorts that had truly seen better mornings, but still worked to cover my body decently. A choke and a hacking fit were the only responses from Spidey and the silver-haired man I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet.

As soon as the doors to my suite closed, I fell to my knees, panting through a panic attack before pulling myself together half an hour later to shower and change into my training uniform that Happy had delivered to my rooms yesterday. It was my first official day as a part of the team. And judging by the way it had started, I might need a drink sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like I promised, the new chapter!! These are coming easier than expected so I wouldn't be surprised if a new chapter came later tonight. Please let me know your thoughts!


	4. Blow Your Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to write a Peter POV chapter, because he was the only character I could get to talk. It may be a little OOC but I figure Peter, post-Infinity War, will have changed and matured in different ways. Anyways, we should be back to Kaida's POV after this chapter.

Peter had never seen anything like her. 

Over the past week he’d been in the room for every moment of Kaida’s introduction to the team and her new life.

On that first day, after seeing her all but naked and needing to quickly run for a quick shower before training started, he’d gotten to see her in action.

There was no taking it easy or soft starts for new Avengers. They started with a brisk 10k, after which it didn’t even look like she had broken a sweat.

Then she’d been pushed in his direction. This was a routine Peter had become accustomed to by now, with a few new recruits filling up the roster, primarily temporary placements by SHIELD as they recruited enhanced individuals. Peter was the first line of hand to hand combat examination, because while he wasn’t overly skilled, he was obviously extremely agile and very strong.

Kaida cocked her head at him and cracked her knuckles. “Give it all you’ve got Bug Boy, I’m not holding back.”

She and Peter had circled each other for a few seconds before she lunged, aiming a blow at his face that, unfortunately for him, was a ruse to get him to block upward, leaving his sides unprotected. With a quick jab to his kidneys, he grunted and instinctively bent over, nearly face planting with a strangled screech as Kaida then swept his legs out from under him.

He rolled over and she was immediately on top of him, pinning him down. “Easy as pie,” she crowed in his face, taunting him with a wink.   
Angry that he’d been made a fool of so easily by this girl, he channeled all his strength into flipping over her light weight and pinning her down on the mat. She grunted and struggled, but Peter’s hands were like iron, easily encircling both wrists and caging her hips in with his knees. His grasp was inescapable.  
But Peter, it seemed, could only make mistakes around this girl.

Fire flaring in his eyes, he bent his head to whisper in her ear, “It doesn’t pay to be cocky Kai, now who’s big and bad?”

Her breath caught for a second as she tensed below him, and a moment later Peter was tossed into the air, screaming as Kai had managed to open her palm and blast him up and away from her.

“Not cool, Kai. You know that powers are off limits,” Peter croaked indignantly. The other, observing Avengers cackled at Pete’s distress, even Natasha looked slightly impressed. 

“Still me, it would seem,” she said, answering his goaded remarks and popping right to her feet and turning on her heel and walking towards the rest of the team that had decided to come in and spectate that morning. 

Perhaps not so strangely, Peter noted, only Mr. Stark was missing. 

It was then unanimously decided that her next test would be facing Natasha in hand to hand combat. He thought he couldn’t be more impressed or dumbfounded by this woman, but as the day progressed, Peter almost had to pinch himself. She matched Natasha jab for jab, move for move like it was as easy as breathing to her.   
“Holy shit,” he heard Clint mutter next to him. 

“Wait, you mean we didn’t know she could… well, do that?” Peter gestured helplessly towards the Master Assassin and the twenty year old run away who was proving to be her match in every way.

“No kid, we had no idea. We don’t know shit about her. Not even Fury does, despite our digging and searching. She’s essentially a ghost. But we figured… Well, after she stopped that school building from collapsing a few weeks ago, until all the kids got out, we figured she couldn’t really be a threat. After all, it put her on our radar in a big way. An enemy operative would have known better, acted differently…”

Clint’s explanation petered off into silent awe as he saw Natasha, the Black Widow tap out, calling a cease fire, if not a surrender. No one had ever seen that. No one had ever done that without extensive training over years. But this spitfire who ran away with a suitcase full of books and apparently sleeps with billionaires… She could.

“If you all are done staring,” Nat snapped them all out of their shocked stupor, “I believe we all have training to do. Kaida, Banner wants you in the lab next. F.R.I.D.A.Y. will show you the way.

“Actually, Nat, I’m supposed to head up to the lab anyways, we’re working on testing the exact trigger to my Spidey senses, so I can just show her the way.” Natasha just inclined her head in an obvious dismissal so he took off jogging after the rapidly disappearing figure.

He skidded to a halt next to her. “Who are you?” He asked without hesitation.

“That seems to be the question of the day, isn’t it Peter. But I came here under the agreement that my past didn’t matter and I don’t intend to hash that out with anyone, least of all you,” she huffed and just kept walking. 

“But, how did you get your abilities? Like, I was bitten by a radioactive spider. Wanda was experimented on with the Mind Stone and well… everyone knows Captain’s story…” Peter again trailed off after he realized, belatedly, that she had frozen and begun panting and trembling like a leaf.

Peter recognized this, understood what the clenched jaw and wildly roaming eyes meant. Something he said had triggered a panic attack, but he just wasn’t sure what. But then, as though it wasn’t a big deal, her mask of calm indifference slipped back over her features and she resumed walking.

“Just shut up Buggy. And if you mentioned what just happened to anyone, I will not hesitate to relentlessly humiliate you with all the weird shit you keep in your room and write in your diaries.”

“Ex-excuse me?!” Peter cried out. “Who the fuck let you into my rooms?”

“No one, Peter. Unless you count myself. Good luck getting your friend Ned laid though, it sounds like it’s been an exhaustive search so far. You’re a good friend. When you’re not being a huge idiot.”

Peter didn’t know what to say to that so he just kept leading her to the lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses on what has Kaida so anxious?? Honestly, who is this girl? I'm so excited to continue this story. It looks like this one might be clocking in at around 40 chapters before it's finished but it's still too early to know for sure. Please let me know if you'd be interested in Beta'ing. I know sometimes my grammar falls through the cracks and my perspective consistency is all over the place. Get ready everyone.


	5. The Valley of Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaida is really good at making bad decisions and she knows just who to make them with. Sorta filler and some kinda gratuitous smut. Big shit happening in the next chapter though. 
> 
> Also all of my chapter titles have been pulled from songs that I'm going to start putting down at the end notes. Usually a song I'm listening to while writing or when an idea comes to me.

“How did you say you came to have powers again?” Dr. Bruce Banner spluttered as he reread the data from his most recent blood and DNA tests.

“Uh… I didn’t but, I’ve always had them, at least for as long as I can remember. My parents never mentioned anything. My sister wasn’t gifted either. Which would make one think we weren’t really sisters, but we’re identical twins so it’s hard to miss the relation, but you know how it is these days-.”

“Excuse me, what did you just say?” I jerked in surprise as I heard none other than Tony Stark speak from the doorway which was directly behind me.

“Uh, I was just going to comment on the state of truth and relevance in modern day America… something tells me that’s not what you’re talking about though. My twin sister, Nadia, she never had any gifts. At least, none that were overtly obvious. But we did have this strange connection, mentally. We could feel each other.

Thoughts and emotions, even pain sometimes.”

“And where is she now, your sister,” Bruce asked after a moment of stunned silence. My expression must have told them everything they needed to know because no one pressed it further.

“Let me see the charts, Banner. What do you see in there?” Wordlessly Banner handed Tony the papers he held in his hand, which Tony grudgingly accepted, despite his disgust at being handed literally anything.

“Well kid,” he said after a moment, “It doesn’t appear that you’re entirely… human. I’m not sure what you are but it’s absolutely not solely human.

Instead of the spluttering and probably generally overexcited reactions that he had anticipated from me, I just looked up and into his eyes before smirking and remarking that “you certainly weren’t calling me ‘kid’ last night.”

Bruce choked on his coffee, again, receiving what I could only imagine to be a terrifying death glare from Tony. He then shortly excused himself.

“So Stark, how’s it feel to know you’ve fucked an alien?” My eyes raked up and down his form, decidedly provocative.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you it’s not a good idea to poke the bear in the room,” he asked, hardly looking up from her chart. He was treating her flippantly, almost distantly. And that simply wouldn’t stand.

“You know, Mr. Stark, I could think of some other… ‘endurance tests’, if you will, that we could perform right here. In the name of science, of course,” I purred as I slipped down on to my knees in front of him.

He certainly didn’t stop me as I peeled down the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, half hard cock coming back to life.

I could tell when he was getting close, but instead of letting me finish him off and cumming down my throat, he pulled me up and bent me over the cold, metal work table and set to work taking off my leggings before slipping up and inside of me without any resistance.

“God Kaida, so tight and wet. And all for me.” It wasn’t but I wasn’t about to correct him as he pounded into me from behind, grabbing me by the hair and yanking my head back so he could lean forward and kiss along my neck. The tiny sensation of pain sent bolts of pleasure through my core and seconds later I was coming undone. But Tony, it seemed, was far from finished with me. He picked me up and pressed my back into one of the support pillars in the lab.

Unfortunately for him, the lab door was still open, which we both had been too oblivious to rectify. A slight shriek and a clatter had Tony looking up and over my shoulder as I twisted around to see the commotion. Rhodey, Steve and   
Peter were standing in the doorway, holding five coffees between the three of them. Six if you counted the one now spilled all over the floor.

Rhodey looked exasperated but not surprised, Peter looked like a nun who had mistakenly found herself in an adult toy store. Steve, well, Steve was unreadable to me. The stoic faced super soldier never dropped his gaze and gave nothing away.

Instead of pulling away or, I don’t know, stopping anything that he was doing, Tony continued to shallowly thrust into me and circle my clit with his thumb as he winked before glancing back towards the doorway.

“Boys, if you could give us a moment, we have a bit of an… well a test of endurance of sorts and we’d hate for the evidence to be skewed by outside forces,” he jested before commanding F.R.I.D.A.Y. to close the door to the lab and tint all windows to shutter us in privacy again.

“I can’t believe Steve-fucking-Rogers just saw me getting fucked,” I muttered as Tony repositioned himself and began to languidly stroke in and out of me.

“I can’t believe he looked like he wanted to join.”

My heart stuttered and was heard on the monitor. Tony simply took that as a cue to blow my back out.

As I came around him for the third time in the lab, he simply leaned down and whispered something along the lines of him being the only one who could fuck me like I needed to be fucked.

I was too tired and limp from pleasure to argue with him.

“So, uh, not to sound ungrateful but what exactly am I even doing here?” I asked Tony as he fastened his belt buckle as I reclined on the hospital-esque bed the doctor had used when drawing my blood and taking tissue samples.

“Recalibrating after being worked over by an expert, I’d imagine,” came Stark’s snarky reply. I, honestly, don’t know why I expected a serious answer.

“You sure like to stroke your own ego, old man,” I fired right back, bringing my arms behind my head to lounge while he typed away and entered various data points onto his monitor. “No, seriously, why am I here doing all this,” I gestured to the room and testing sites but really meaning my entire presence amongst internationally-known superheroes. “How’d you even find me in the first place? It’s not like I was stopping buses or crashing planes like Bug Boy. I just…”

“You and me both, kid. But as for finding you, social media is a terrible curse and a blessing in disguise. You’ve gained quite a reputation just from your small deeds, but really what set it off was the sch-.“

“The school,” I finished with a groan, letting my head bounce back as I covered my face with my hands, massaging my temple. “You try to do one good thing and then all of a sudden, you’re expected to continually prevent every day tragedies. All I wanted to do was go home after my shift at work.”

“Yeah explain that one to me, bucko. You’re just heading to fuck off when you hear sirens and kids screaming and decide for the first time, to actually really use your powers. Why?”

The answer was simple, actually. The kids I could hear were the same age as my nephew would be wherever he was now. So I’d tossed up my hood and prevented a burning building from collapsing on top of a bunch of innocent kids. And of course, the press had a field day with that.

But I wasn’t about to tell Tony any of that. Ever.

“Fine, don’t say anything. But that’s why. You showed you had the capacity for good in a big way. And to be honest, we wanted to snatch you up before SHIELD or worse could come creeping in and saddle you up with them.”

More silence. Then, a timid knock on the door. F.R.I.D.A.Y. announced that it was Captain Rogers who waited on the other side of the door and Tony muttered his command to open the doors up.

He didn’t even lower his gaze or blush as he took both Tony and I in. Instead he stared me down, eyes boring into mine until I was forced to look down and examine his thin, gray cotton tee that hugged his pecs so tight it left nothing to the imagination. I felt blood rush to my face and the tips of my ears burn.

So much for the prim, proper and prude Captain the media marketed him as. I suppose recent events forced everyone to change. There was no such thing as innocence anymore. Not really.

Cap’s burning gaze finally left mine, turning on Tony instead. Walking to my side, he handed me a cup full of the richest Americano I’d ever smelled. It was exactly what I needed at that moment.

Without turning to glance back at me as he handed Tony his own cup, he murmured, “mind giving us some time alone, Kaida? There’s a few things we’ve been needing to discuss.

I just nodded and slid off the bed, sweatpants bunching up around my waist. I had no intention of actually leaving though.

As I walked through the door and a few steps down the hall, I waited two seconds before becoming a shadowy puddle and gliding along the side of the hallway that held the still open door to the lab. Moments later, Steve poked his head out and around, checking to make sure the floor was clear before pulling the door closed behind him. Like doors had ever stopped me before.

“So Cap, what’s got your Star Spangled panties in a twist this time?” Tony jabbed without hesitation.

Steve tensed his shoulders, letting out a rough, almost anxious sigh. “When are you going to own up to your grief and stop being such a slut, Tony? It’s been almost a year now since Pepper died. You’re compromising yourself, you know this. You know, it is so like you to start banging the first new female recruit we’ve had in years. Is that why you pushed so hard to bring her in? Just to chase some new tail?!”

Honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the answer was ‘yes’. Seemed like a Stark thing to do. And in a weird, twisted way, I got it. Sort of.

“You know what, this conversation is over. Just because you haven’t been laid in over 70 years doesn’t mean you get to pull the morality card. No, Capsicle, I think we’re done here. F.R.I.D.A.Y. lock up the lab after Rogers and I. I’m going out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's song: The Cave by Mumford and Sons. You'll see why later.


	6. If I Live to Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No smut, but non-graphic depictions of panic attacks and semi-graphic depictions of child torture. The chapter includes some flashback sequences.

There was a reason I was on the verge of alcoholism. Oddly enough, it wasn’t the absurdly large amount of Spandex clad people in the Tower every day. I sucked in a deep sigh, lips curling over my teeth with my harsh intake of breath. My hand shook so hard, the glass tumbler full of whiskey slipped and shattered all over the floor. I stood and moved to clean it up, but found myself suddenly frozen. My head was throbbing and my heart was racing. Or maybe it was dragging. It was hard to tell at this point.

No, it was that I was actually crumbling from the inside out. As my training progressed, so did my introduction and understanding of the purpose of the Avengers Initiative. All this talk about doing good, making the world a safer place…

Let’s just say it didn’t exact allow me to ignore my past like existing in the shadows had.

Panic attacks haunted my frequently as more and more memories I had repressed came back to haunt me.

 

I was six years old and a man was pulling my sister’s hair and punching me in the stomach. I choked back my sobs but Nadia screamed and screamed. The dark dingy walls were solid concrete and several feet thick, and below ground… No one ever heard us.

I choked on the blood welling up in the back of my throat and coughed it out when it became too much. I was forced to breathe out of my nose which resulted in gags as the stench of feces, urine and unwashed body hit the back of my throat.

Hours later, I was being dunked into a tub of freezing water and scrubbed down with the roughest of washing stones I’d ever felt. I knew Nadia was being treated similarly, because I could feel her pain as well as my own, as she could mine. It created quite the painful feedback loop.

Finally, after hours of this same cycle, we were plunged into total darkness and swiftly fell asleep, naked, freezing bodies huddled together.

 

Then there’s what came after. Our parents, executors of our torture, were murdered as our home was invaded. The men wielding the guns said they were part of an organization they said wanted to take us in and bring us home. Become a family and give us purpose. Neither Nadia, nor I hesitated. We were just two pre-teens desperate to escape our lives in a dungeon and to take action against people like those that had kept us locked up.

What we didn’t know is that things could, and would get a whole lot worse. Not for us, but for the world we would be unleashed upon.

 

Thoughts swirling in a panic, I burst out onto the balcony of the communal floor I was on. Wind ripped through my hair, blowing so hard antenna flew off the top of the Tower, causing F.R.I.D.A.Y. to sound the alarm.

Muffled shrieks and yells sounded behind me.

Suddenly, the glass doors behind me flew open and a hand clamped down on my shoulder. Cold, icy fear ran through my veins as I saw the shiny metal hand turning me around to face him. Bucky.

“I’m fine,” I bit out, quickly averting my gaze, “just give me a few minutes. It’s all under control.” I had no sooner gotten the last word out than a solar panel came flying down off the top of the building adjacent to Avengers Tower.

Heat roiled around me, the skies darkening, clouds threatening a massive downpour.

Deep breaths, Kaida, deep breaths.

Unsurprisingly, breathing wasn’t helping this time.

“Hey, kid, listen to me. Tell me five things you can see right now,” Bucky commanded, his tone leaving little room for argument.

“Uh, I c-can see clouds, and uh, you and me, and those pigeons. And that damn spandex clad idiot clinging to the side of the building over there,” I couldn’t keep from maniacally cackling as I looked over and saw Peter clinging to the side of the Tower, looking for the world like he was clutching for dear life.

“Okay, good. Now what about four things you can feel.”

“The wind, your hand—which is cold, by the way—the railing and my clothes.”

“Okay, good. I don’t think we need to go any further with that, it seems you got that under control pretty quickly. I was taught that by my therapist after coming back from Wakanda. Hydra really did some shit to fuck me up. It’s still a struggle all these years later.”

I just nodded, extremely uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had turned. I didn’t need therapy, I wasn’t the victim here. Not anymore, no, I created them.

I looked up at Bucky finally, eyes flashing and hardening, looking all for the world like ice chips. I would know. I practiced in the mirror. He caught my gaze and flinched back, hand dropping off my shoulder.

“D-do we know each other? I know those eyes…” he shook his head, “never mind, I have to be seeing things. There’s no way. Anyways, uh be safe Kaida,” Bucky blurted as he stumbled away and left me to brood on the patio for just a little while longer.

 

Later, as I sipped at a bottle of moscato, having forgone a glass entirely, there was a knock at my door. Tony, of course, let himself right in and collapsed on the couch next to me.

“So,” he said without preamble, “What the fuck was that today? Are you trying to take down my building? And how on God’s green earth did you scare Barnes shitless? Maybe I should take a page out of your book, kid.”

“I’m not in the mood Tony. Could yo-.”

“Yeah, well I wasn’t in the mood to get berated by Cap and his long term booty call today, but that happened. So you’re going to get over it and answer my questions. Now.” His commanding air suited him well. I hadn’t really seen any side of Tony besides the petulant, pseudo-alcoholic braniac that was as fickle and narcissistic as they come.

As if the day couldn’t get any worse, my body decided that it rather liked this new, more mature Tony. Sometimes I was convinced one of my superhuman features was the ability to be turned on by almost anything at the drop of a hat.

Clearing his throat, Tony stole my bottle away from me and stoppered it before shifting to face me head-on. “So, answer away, Stormy. And try not to mince words.”

“It was nothing Tony, just a panic attack. You’re not unfamiliar with the concept, or so I’m told. I think it’s being in a new place with actual pressure to perform. Now could you get off my back and let me go back to drinking myself to an early grave, please and thank you.”

Tony didn’t move. He opened his mouth to speak again, but as he did, the building rocked with an explosion that was quickly followed by a roar that shook the building just as hard.

Not a moment later, F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice crackled over the intercom, alerting everyone in the tower of a Code Green.

“You stay here,” Tony commanded as his nanotech suit quickly spread over his form.

“Nice try, gramps, where you go I’m following.”

Tony tipped back his head and groaned. “At least suit up first. And then meet us down there. We won’t be waiting on you kid.”

He was no sooner flying away and out of sight than the impenetrable glass leading to your own personal balcony was shattered, two masked figures rappelling inside. Immediately, Iassumed mybattle stance, but it didn’t matter.   
Two gun shots sounded over my shoulders and red blossomed from the intruders foreheads, one after the other.

I risked a glance over my shoulder and saw that it was Bucky, again coming to my rescue. I hated it.

Slowly, we approached the bodies, searching their person for any identifying marks or clues.

Bucky pulled a piece of paper from deep in a tactical pocket on the bigger of the two men. He unfurled it, his eyes going wide and glassy, tremors running down his form. He started panting and then screaming endlessly for Steve.

“Buck, Buck where are you?” Steve was calling as he sprinted down the hall to your location. Steve immediately wrapped the soldier in his arms and guided him out of the room. As if in a trance, Bucky dropped the paper and it floated to the ground, writing side up.

There, in deep, gouging scratches was the message I’d been dreading my entire life.

Hail Hydra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not necessarily a plot twist but man does my Kaida have a lot more secrets up her sleeve. Are you ready for it?


	7. TBD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit. Happens. Sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is written but I don't have a title yet because I wrote it at work, hence no music. So I'll be updating that later.

I ran. There was no stopping me. I stole a cowl from a closet and drifted into the shadows, just long enough to leap from the window. 

I materialized and flitted down back alleys until I hit Park Ave. I didn’t know much about this area of New York, but every borough has their drinking holes right?

Minutes later, I was staggering in to a quaint little bar that wasn’t quite the dive that I was looking for, but it would do. This was probably better in any case, fewer leering eyes and a hefty, red haired, Irish woman who kept my drink full and men away.

Hydra was just one of the many skeletons rattling around in my closet, but they were the Rosetta Stone to my trauma in a lot of ways. Not the foundation, but the guide. 

Two more glasses of Lagavulin and those pressing thoughts were kicked to the wayside. 

Behind me, the grandfather clock chimed five o’clock. Just call me Jimmy Buffet and saddle me up with a margarita.

What no amount of alcohol could do, unfortunately, was erase the people I’d… met with Hydra. Or lost with them. Most of all, I could never forget my sister. 

Brave and stupid drunk, I left my drinking post and headed down Park Avenue rather aimlessly. It felt like I was being drawn in a certain direction, meant to be there, which is absolutely absurd, but I was just drunk enough to believe it. 

My feet halted half an hour later outside of a quaint little tattoo parlor. I’d always wanted a tattoo but I’d never had the time nor the money to get one. Fortunately, as a runaway Avenger-in-Training, I had both of those in spades now. 

And, as fate would have it, the shop was advertising that they were available for walk-ins today. 

Whipping out my new cell phone, I pulled up a picture of what exactly I wanted. A fire and ice bird, one on each side of my ribs with wings meeting in the middle of my chest. My sister and I had always fancied ourselves the pairing pictured. I froze people out, cold and analyzing, whereas she was fiery and kind but dangerous all the same. 

The overly muscled and extremely tattooed man just nodded his ascent and began free handing a design for the firebird on my right side. I was decently numbed from the booze, but as time passed, the more my sides protested in pain. Occasionally, I would feel a quick rush of air push cold wind over my aching skin and nearly groan in pleasure. 

Finally, three hours later, I was gingerly easing my shirt back on, sides to be kept wrapped for the next hour or so, in case they started bleeding or weeping plasma and ink. 

I stood, signed my name along the dotted line for the payment and stepped out on the street to find none other than Pietro standing, back resting against the side of the building with his arms crossed, obviously waiting for me. 

Rather than acknowledge his presence, I moved to hail a taxi. He took that moment to wrap his arms around my middle, sending bolts of pain shooting from my fresh tattoos, and bolted down the street.

Fate, should it exist, obviously had a sense of humor. Minutes later, we were standing in the lobby of Avengers Tower.

Hesitantly, I moved for the elevator doors, wincing with every step as it pulled along my aching muscles, both from the walking and the movement of inked flesh. Pietro followed loosely behind me, as I anticipated. Once he had retrieved me, he certainly wasn’t going to let me escape. He was perhaps the one Avenger I couldn’t simply evade or trick, his eyes caught things as though they were moving half the speed they actually were.

Uncomfortable silence ensued as Pietro pressed the button to take us up to the Penthouse, the de facto floor for team meetings.

Despite receiving an equal number of concerned and suspicious glances, most of the team paid me little to no mind. 

Peter gestured to Pietro, eyes questioning, and nods were exchanged. What I wouldn’t give to be able to hear what they were thinking. And maybe it was vain of me to assume that they’d been communicating about me, but I was almost positive.

Lost in my reverie, I almost missed the command Cap gave to Wanda to put me under. I hadn’t even taken a step by the time I was falling to the ground, unconscious, caught in lean arms. 

It would be the best rest I’d get for weeks to come. 

 

I woke up in my own rooms, restrained to the bed. What had happened was fairly obvious, considering the only person who was in my rooms besides me was Tony. And he had an Iron Gauntlet trained on me as I came to. I hacked to clear my throat before speaking. “Seems like a bit of overkill Grandpa.”

Tony just glared down at me, not moving a single inch or softening in any way. 

I tried again. “So I take it Witchy rummaged around in my head and found some… Not so savory things. Perhaps my stint as a Hydra assassin. Maybe the length of my kill list even. Let me guess, you’re currently prepping a room for me at whatever new and improved raft you built to keep Thanos locked up and never coming back. Fair warning, I’ll never go willingly and I can put up one hell of a fight.”

“Fortunately for you, that decision’s not up to me and would require the input of the feds, which, knowing what we do now, I can fairly certainly say, you’d prefer if they stayed out of it. 12 US government officials assassinated in less than three months by yours truly. Wow. Talk about a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Were I not a better man, I’d shoot you right now.”

“So why are you here Tony, if not to kill me?” I snarled back at him. “What good does me being alive do? To anyone.” That startled him a little bit, shell shocked enough to look up and into my eyes, where I saw my own feral irises reflected. 

But he steeled himself again within moments. And then, out of the breast pocket of his blue blazer, he grabbed a sheet of paper. 

Not a sheet of paper I realized as he folded it out for me. A picture of a skinny redheaded woman. One I recognized intimately. “Target 17. What do you need to know?” I questioned coldly, unfeeling. That made him jerk backwards in his seat and hastily stand, panting and heaving, murderous intent glinting in his brown eyes. 

“Her name was Pepper. And she was killed three days before our wedding, carrying my child. So I’d like to know. Was it-,“ he spat out like the words were physically fighting to escape from his body.

“Was it me? No. I was in the wind with my sister for a few months after our covers were almost blown taking out a diplomat in Indonesia. For what it’s worth, I truly am sorry Tony. Especially,” I said, voice dropping to a whisper, “about your son.”

“Excuse me, my what?” Fists clenched, he strode up the side of my bed, closer to my head. I shied away as he bent down and got into my face. “What did you just say to me?”

Fuck. He didn’t know and I just made it ten times worse. The sound of his repulsor charging broke the most pregnant silence I’d ever heard. Before he could fire, though, Thor and Steve burst through the door and caught him as he collapsed in anguish, taking him away, leaving me alone. They knew everything about my time with Hydra. The evil I’d done and the evil I’d allowed to happen. I was the enemy. And I had no backup.

So back to normal. 

 

Hours later, I gave in to my bone deep weariness and collapsed into sleep. Dream after fever dream encased my drained mind, ephemeral and diaphanous. Most images were forgotten immediately, flighty and fragile as a butterfly’s wing. Others though, others stuck like mosquitos stuck in amber. Flashes.

Light, blood, destruction. Tattooed stars and deep, harrowing scars on ragged faces. Sobbing little boys with green eyes and silky hair.

Despite the intense lunacy and deep feeling of realness I felt while dreaming, I was aware of a deep, striking pain within myself. It settled in my chest, buried deep, as though I’d replaced my stomach with Mjolnir. The ache was both sharp and dull, full and waning. It signaled that a harsh reality awaited me in the waking world. When   
I was dreaming it was like the pain had no anchor, no reason for tormenting me, as hapless and defenseless as a newly hatched bird. 

When I’m half-awake, like I am now, I know why the pain is here, understand the presence of gut-wrenching guilt and searing hot shame and thus can accept them. I’m not sure which is worse to experience. 

Sometimes I’m fully awake, being handed crackers or grapes or bottles of water by a person whose name I don’t know, because I’m never cognizant long enough to catalogue their face. Seconds later, I’m again drowning, pulled into the depths of my dreamscape. 

My reality blurs and the cycle continues, vicious unto the end. And every time I wake, my cheeks are embarrassingly wet. It feels like weeks before I’m awake long enough to realize I’m not alone. That every time I wake, a new face is staring back at me from a different chair in my room. 

I come to recognize them again in time. Wanda, Pietro, Bucky, Steve, Vision, even Peter. But never Tony.

I sit up for the first time after what feels like a month, though the limited aching emaniating from my bones tells me, logically, that it’s only been a fraction of that time. One either side of my bed is a Maximoff. Wanda looks more concerned than wary. Pietro looks like a lion who caught the scent of an enemy pride. 

“Go slowly Kaida,” Wanda urges, “you must be weak. It’s been a few days since you rejoined the land of the living. Her continued inquiries and entreaties fall on deaf ears. As vulgar as it now sounds in retrospect, I knew I had to move or else and accident would occur. I stumbled into my en suite, knowing even without needing to look that they would have removed anything that would have made a suitable weapon.

I also know that, should my biology betray any sign of shifting to make use of my abilities, F.R.I.D.A.Y. would alert the others and the full might of the Avengers would fall upon my head. And Wanda would have me back out in seconds. What couldn’t be stopped of measured for, of course, were things such as my superhuman hearing, that was currently picking up on the muffled conversation the twins were having in my bedroom on the other side of the bedroom door. 

“Why are you blocking FRIDAY, we should be alerting the others that the prisoner is awake and ready for their attentions.”

“Pietro! She’s not our prisoner,” Wanda reprimanded. “Besides, I wish to have a moment alone with the girl. Even if she is not a child of Strucker, she is what Hydra made her to be, somehow. I just… I’d like for her to have a sympathetic listener at first. We never got the benefit of the doubt. If you remember we weren’t exactly unwilling in our crusade against the Avengers.”

Pietro just grunted in agreement but remained tense at his sisters side. I quickly twisted off the faucet and reentered the bedroom. Rather than speak, Wanda simply patted the seat of the chair across from hers, indicating that I should take a seat. It was the gentlest command ever issued. I slid back until my shoulders brushed the high back of the chair. 

Wanda opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off with a gesture of my hands. I leaned forward, extending my head towards her. 

“Just look, let my mind answer your questions. I don’t know that I’d have the strength to or that we’d have the time before the others come charging in. If I’m going to die, I need at least one person to know and believe the truth. Maybe help persuade Captain Rogers to end my life swiftly. It’s more than I deserve.”

With that Wanda, eyes shining, placed her hands on my temples and breathed deeply as we were both transported to an infinitely darker place, many years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please let me know what you think. Also I'm sorry. Some of this wasn't in my original plans but I decided to increase some personal pain. Thanks for reading!


	8. Pieces of Broken Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, so sorry for the delay and that this is a super short chapter. I cannot make myself write in order to save my life. I've written about ten future chapters, it's just getting to them that's been a bit of a struggle. So this is a short little hop and jump into the next section of this story. Things are going to go deeper. A girl has got to have someone in their corner right? That's what this chapter sets up.

Sinking through my memories was like drifting uncontrollably through a minefield. Tiny bursts of anguish shot through my mind as Wanda relived my upbringing with my sister, the house of horrors that was our home, being tapped to join Hydra and agreeing without ‘persuasion'. The missions, targets and our downfall. My sister's son. And finally, the mission that sent us both running for the hills... 

The time since then. One dead-end job to another, sisters working to support each other, all while looking for the last remaining piece of our family. And, then that day had come. The snap and dust. Guilt flooding me and overwhelming a sense of horror as time passed. 

Homeless until my… boyfriend. The horror that home turned into, one that I do still feel as though I deserved. Until one night he went too far and I left. The night Peter found me. Of course in the midst of all this, you had my ‘heroics' that mostly consisted of helping women out of situations I understood all too well. And that damned school. So Peter was looking for me at the behest of the Avengers after the most recent event had even landed on the front page of the New York Times.

My deeply buried need to have somewhere to call home, to have not just someone on my six but to have a family. All the emotions that Hydra and I, through my conditioning at their hands, thought of as compromising and weak.

I had agreed, understanding that I could play the role of Asset for the good guys for once, maybe correct some of the horrific circumstances I had had a hand in creating. My mission would be protecting others for the first time. Only in my wildest dreams had I imagined I'd ever have a family again, but they had begun to feel like home, in spite of the secrets I kept. Now that was ruined. That was inevitable, I reminded myself. Because of who I am, I could never have a family. I didn't deserve one.

“No,” Wanda said, interrupting our shared stream of thoughts, "not ruined, just a little, broken. They accepted us in time." Pietro nodded, eyes alighting on his sister and then on me. Curiosity burned in his soul-deep gaze. He leaned forward and used his abnormally large hand and rough fingers to cover his sister's hand, which I just realized was now twined in mine.

Connected like this, I felt the smallest flicker of hope come to life in me, setting my heart aflutter. Understanding and acceptance filled their eyes and I did tear up a little. I never expected this. 

“You are not the monster your parents created. Nor the asset that Hydra trained. You are more than that Kaida. Let us help you find it. Find yourself.”

I nodded, leaning into her embrace as she gripped me by the shoulders and kissed my cheek.

At Wanda’s urging, I stepped into the shower, running my hand through my hair as nearly a week’s worth of grime was stripped off my body. I think it was safe to say that I’d never felt more confused and well, vulnerable in my life. 

For the time being, I didn’t have a mission or a purpose. My handler, or the surrogate my mind had appointed was questionable at best now that all had been revealed. I didn’t like being left to my own mind and devices. Too many thoughts would rattle around inside my head. After a few hours, the twins left again, gentle eyes and kind reassurances. 

Later and not seconds after my stomach rumbled with a fierceness I had forgotten it had, my door opened and a tray of food entered, held by Bucky, the Winter Soldier. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A second, potentially longer chapter will be coming before midnight tonight CST.  
> Today's chapter pulled from This is Gospel by Panic! at the Disco


	9. Please Learn from My Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! Longer than the last chapter but not my longest. Some more filler here really. Sorry bout it but it has to happen. Have a good night!!!

We sat, assessing one another and picking at our plates of food, more for something to do with our hands, as opposed to nothing at all. In those moments I could just read in his body language the fact that he had put two and two together and remembered why I looked so familiar. He had been responsible for training my sister when she failed on missions, whereas I had never had to face the wrath of the Winter Soldier and his handlers. For a year or so after we escaped, my sister and I saw his face in every passing stranger, terrified Hydra was coming back to reclaim us.

Because to Hydra we weren’t members of a team, as they had initially led my sister and I to believe. We were there property, attack dogs trained to be set loose every once in a while. Caged, every other time. I let my fork clatter to the table before folding my fingers underneath my chin to support my head as I stared at the man across from me. 

Barnes followed suit, pushing his plate away and leaning back in his chair. His ice blue eyes flashed to mine before he took a sharp breath in and out and then spoke for the first time since he’d walked through my door just under an hour ago. 

“So, were you sent here to bring me in? Wanda doesn’t seem to think so but I’ve known Hydra for a few more decades than she has, so I’m warier.” Simple and to the point. Disciplined even, to any onlookers there might have been. But, as a fellow survivor of Hydra saw all his tells, the brightness of his eyes, the clenched teeth and slightly hunched shoulders. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he wasn’t fully seated either, prepared to spring up at any moment, despite his look of nonchalance. 

“You should trust Wanda more. No, soldat, I didn’t come to bring you in. You know,” I said, chuckling drily, “I thought this conversation was going to happen years ago but in reverse. Did no one from Hydra come looking for us? Before they went under? Or were Nadia and I just new playthings for you and yours?” I asked, ice coating my harsh tone. 

Bucky flinched at my use of Russian and again at the name of my sister. So he did remember us. Somehow, that didn’t make me feel any better about his presence here. 

“Our superiors were… rather distracted by certain developments and felt that you all would return to your homes. I guess their arrogance finally got the better of them in that regard. And then, with the new threat of Thor, Steve and Tony and the convergence of the Avengers on the world scale, they more than likely shoved your files deep down. Though I’d imagine your recent resurfacing has been noted by rogue Hydra factions that are still operating around the globe.”

A solid enough explanation for why no one had come for Nadia and I. Another thing I had to thank the Avengers for, I supposed. “So, what happens now? Wanda has seen all she needed to see to support me. Where will the others fall in line?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, leaning forward so his elbows rested on the table. “Steve believes Wanda and is willing to work with you. Same goes for Natasha and Clint and the Maximoffs. Tony… well, he may get over this sooner than he did before but I wouldn’t count on it. We still haven’t figured our shit out, though I was the one who killed his parents in person. But I didn’t do it in my right mind. That’s the difference between the two of us I suppose.”

I laughed, darkly at first before it rapidly became hysterical, but I managed to keep a handle on the powers inside of me. “You really think I was in my right mind Barnes? After years of the torture and abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents to then be rescued and groomed by an evil organization when I was barely twelve? Not even close. But by the time I realized what Hydra really was, it was too late. They weren’t letting us go, not without exacting a terrible price.”

Barnes sighed and looked back at me, eyes softening almost imperceptibly. “You did come here willingly. And you show no ill intent, despite your obvious penchant for self-destructive tendencies.” I couldn’t exactly disagree. “I think you’ll find that you’ll fit right in with this merry little band of superpowered misfits. We’re all a little broken here.”

Nodding, I pushed back my chair and stood up, grabbing my plate to dump its contents into the trash can when Barnes spoke again. “You’re not on lockdown anymore. I would advise against leaving the Tower, but this is your home now. Not a prison. And we’d like for you to treat it that way. Just… maybe avoid tony for a little while.”

Yeah, easy enough when you live a few doors away from the guy. But, Barnes did have a point. He stood and moved to the door and wished me a goodnight before slipping through the door without a backward glance. 

I tossed and turned that night, but not due to overwhelming nightmares, which was a welcome change of pace. No, my skin itched and my brain raced, looking for something to hold on to, looking for any sort of distraction. My body begged me to take action, to do something. After days of being laid up, even just a simple jog sounded like it would hit the spot for my restless limbs. 

I gave in at around two in the morning, throwing on my leggings, slick work out short and tennis shoes before pulling my hair back. Then I was out the door and down to the rec level of the Tower, which was like a carnival for enhanced people. 

For the first hour, I thought I was alone as I ran a few miles, lifted so small-ish weights and completed over a hundred sit-ups, which isn’t a lot, but it wasn’t half bad for a warm up. It wasn’t until I was shadow boxing that I realized I wasn’t alone. I felt a rapturous presence behind me and to the left. So I spun quickly and jabbed at the face of the intruder, only to punch… two feet?

“Hey, don’t you know it’s rude to touch someone else’s feet without consent. Could sue you for harassing me, you know.”

Parker. Spidey, it seemed, had decided to literally hang out behind me, upside down, suspended from the ceiling. “What do you want Buggy?” I asked, as if nothing had transpired between us over the past few, very eventful dates. 

“Sometimes I just hang around here at night. Calms me down, plus the ceilings are high enough that I can practice some more… out of the box acrobatics without embarrassing myself and ending up on the front page of the Daily Bugle again. You know how they are.” I did actually. Their constant tirade against Spider-Man was one of the few things that actually made me laugh out loud. 

But I totally understood the need for peace and quiet and to kind of get rid of the riff raff. So I smiled brightly and asked Buggy if he could show me how exactly he managed to get that tensile strength in the material he used for his webs. 

To say Peter was like a toddler around science would be an understatement. But it made us both happy. So we went, the past firmly behind us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song-Let's Dance to Joy Division by the Wombats


	10. I’m Not Looking for Absolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any editing issues, I wrote this chapter exclusively on my phone oops.

Peter and I spent the rest of the night in the labs. Mostly, it was just Peter demonstrating how each of his projects worked, like the changes he was making to his web formula and improvements he was making to his suit to change the way he could interface with his A.I. Karen. 

Some time later, as the sun was sluggishly rising, FRIDAY gently (for an AI) reminded Peter and I that now would be the only time to shower, eat and dress before training commenced for the day. At the reminder, Peter simply grimaced, and I returned the expression. What was waiting for me down on the common floor couldn’t possibly be good. Peter pushed down the sleeves of his sweatshirt nervously and gestured for me to follow him as he stepped into the elevator. 

Down on the common floor, everyone was nursing their own cup of coffee, steam billowing into their faces. Well, everyone except Thor. He had a beer stein full of chocolate milk that he nearly chugged as he giddily bounced up and down in his seat, the godly equivalent of a toddler and golden retriever wrapped in one muscly package of happiness and positivity. 

Without a word, Pietro handed peter and I both our own coffees. Mine was an iced cold brew. Some deep, nearly dead part of me was touched that he remembered my disdain for hot, weak drinks. He winked at me as he turned back to return to his spot next to the fridge, but not before swiping another donut from the breakfast bar. Something must have happened before peter and I arrived because Clint and Sam both glared daggers at Pietro. 

“So...” I began, “we going to talk about the elephant in the room or ignite it until we hit the training rooms and punch it out?”

Steve and Wanda looked up sharply from the food in front of them, taking not so sneaky glances at the others. Tony was gripping his coffee mug so hard, if he’d been anyone else in the room, it would have shattered. Sam just looked weary and Bucky... he was leaning up against the sink, arms crossed over his chest. He almost looked disappointed. 

“Punching it out seems to be the winner. If you have a problem with me, or need questions answered, you know how to get them. Beyond that, I’m not leaving so don’t even try.” I began choking up out of nowhere. “I’m not letting those bastards take another home from me. You all have always been nothing but kind and I treated that kindness with deception and indifference. But I’m going to blame that on the whole, kindness being a completely new experience for me. Obviously I mean everyone here no harm...” I petered off, not knowing what to say to get my feelings across. I looked around, lost, capturing the gazes of Pietro and Bucky, who both just nodded back at me. 

Bucky pushed off of the counter and approached me, laying a hand on my shoulder. “Kaida is no more Hydra than I am. If you trust in me, be open to trusting her. We’ve all... made mistakes.”

Yeah that’s one way to put it. 

Even Thor looked uncomfortable at this point and Tony was just straight up heading for the elevator without a backward glance. Bruce trailed after him, shrugging apologetically. Seconds that felt like hours passed and finally the elevator began to descend to the lab floors. 

“Alright team, move out. We have work to do,” Steve said in his most Captain-y voice. And damn if it wasn’t kind of hot. I wasn’t the only one who thought so. I could tell just from the shift from light blue to icy gray in Bucky’s eyes that he was going to be pulling Rogers into his room later. Or sooner, depending on how tight his shirt was today

Hours and buckets of sweat later and the whole team broke for lunch. As expected, no one took me up on my offer but we still weren’t pre-incident buddies anymore. Bucky and Pietro seemed most inclined to stick by my side while Wanda was off with Vision. Peter gave me these weird agonizing glances from across the main training floor the whole time. The kid was weird. Who knows what he got up to in his own brain. 

Anyways, I knew what I had to do as soon as I stepped on to the elevator, moments after everyone else left to the cafeteria area. There was a confrontation that was way overdue. 

As soon as I stepped out on to the slightly grimy linoleum floor of the lab, Bruce looked up and blanched before quickly shoving his papers and laptop into a satchel and bounding for the elevator before it closed behind me. 

“Good luck,” he muttered shakily. I nodded in thanks and a moment later he was gone. A quick look around told me that Tony must be in a back room somewhere, probably grabbing parts. In the background, Black Sabbath tinkled through the inlaid speaker system. 

“Brucey, darling, do you want to go with blue or green for the new nanotech in Veronica?? Or maybe purple, unless that would be too on the no-.” He quickly cut himself off as he came waltzing around the corner of desks and displays to see me perched on his stool. 

“Get out,” he growled, standing stock still, shoulders tense. When I didn’t move, he did, reaching for the minibar he had installed on the wall opposite me, pulling out a bottle of scotch and taking a swig. 

“Well if it’s going to be that kind of party...” I drawled darkly before reaching down into my gym bag and pulling out my flask of bourbon and followed suit. Tony didn’t exactly roll out the welcome wagon after that but he did seem to relax a bit. At the very least, he didn’t summon what was left of the Iron Legion protocol to physically remove me from his presence. 

“Why are you here Kaida?” Tony finally asked, ice coating his words as they pierced into me in ways I wasn’t expecting. 

“Is it so odd for a former assassin to check up on her friends? I mean, it would be a shame to just throw everything away for a simple misunderstanding right? At the very least we have to work and live together. Unless you intend to kick me out?” I stared Tony down, waiting for that explosive anger that I knew he was trying to shove deep down. 

“Oh Kaida, we were never friends. We fucked. But I’d fuck anything with two legs and a rack. I think you know that as well as I do. The only reason I ever gave up that life was Pepper and, well, you know exactly how that turned out.”

“Again, not my doing. I was long gone by the time someone executed the hit they had on her.”

“But you knew and you did nothing. Warned no one. You know, it’s not like I’m hard to find. Literal skyscraper that used to have my name on it not stand out to you?”

“I-,” I began, searching for any explanation for my inaction. As terrible as it was to admit, I’d simply never considered interfering with Hydras plans. I was much more concerned with keeping my sister and myself alive at the time. 

“You know,” Tony said, interrupting my frantic, guilty train of thought, “some kid once told me that when you have the powers and abilities that we do and do nothing, then the bad things that happen, they happen because of you. Maybe you should chew on that for a little while Kaida. I won’t kick you out but I don’t want to see your face around my space for a long while.”

And then, like a switch flipped in my body, hot rage filled me. What did this entitled, rich snob know about being a kid my age and seeing the shit I’d seen? When he was my age he was partying every night and wrecking Bentley’s and Aston Martin’s like it was nothing, like nothing mattered to him at all. 

“Maybe you should grow a pair then Stark. You’re really angry, huh? Prove it. Fight me. Kick me out. We both know I can take it. You saw the bruises when I first moved in. Couldn’t be missed with that lack of clothing when we first got acquainted. Do your worst.”

Suddenly he was in my face again, hatred and something else raged in his eyes. Maybe not hatred at me, but at the reaction I could always weasel out of him. Had been doing for my past few weeks at the Tower. 

Stark slammed his bottle down on the desk right beside me before wrapping his hand through the hair at the back of my hair hard, twisting and pulling me forward before viciously kissing and biting my neck. It was painful but not in a way that made me inclined to push him away. 

“God I hate you so much,” he said and he ripped my shirt up and over my head before taking a step back. 

“Wanna be useful? Turn around and bend over the desk, hands behind your back. And don’t move a muscle.”

I did as he said, breath coming out in gasps. 

Oh this was bad. 

Really bad. 

Or maybe really good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Bedroom Hymns by Florence + the Machine
> 
> Also my tumblr is forensicscassidy come say hi!!


	11. Who I Am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it’s a short chapter because I’m currently working a 65 hour week and I’m exhausted. Hopefully it made sense.   
> ALSO: I just wrote the most god damned heart wrenching chapter. Like y’all. It hurts. 
> 
> PPS I’m still revising the first few chapters so give them a reread every once in a while!

The next day, I was reading the next book on my to be read list when Peter came screeching into the common room. “Cranewood!!” He practically shrieked as he ran, hips first into the back of the couch I was lounging one. He miscalculated his own speed and toppled over the back, faceplanting right into my lap. 

“Oh my god, oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t-oh Jesus I’m so sorry I just totally invaded your personal space and literally put my face there and oh my god.” He cut his own self off and blushed so deep, the tips of his ears almost flowed red. Peter licked himself back up and adjusted his blue sweatshirt before running his hands through the hair on the back of his neck and refusing to make eye contact with me. 

“Peter?”

“Y-yeah what’s up Kaida,” he managed to squeak out before coughing and clearing his throat, lowering his voice to compensate. I just stared back at him expectantly, dog-earring my page before slamming the book shut between my thighs. He blinked twice before shifting uncomfortably between feet. I swear, for an adult man, this boy sure acted like a gawky sophomore a lot. 

“Oh. Oh yeah!!! We’ve met before. Cranewood School for Girls. Technically you and Spider-Man met but... I’m hurt that you were never even going to mention the first time I saved your life. What’s up with that? And also how did a Hydra ghost end up on Long Island at an elite prep school for upstanding young women and-“ I tuned him out unconsciously. 

In truth, I had completely forgotten my run in with Spider-Man when I was 13. My sister and I were much too busy then still readjusting to a normal lifestyle we’d never had and covering our tracks while breaking enough laws to provide for ourselves, day in and day out. 

Nadia had laundered enough money that We had more than enough for a down payment on a small apartment in the Long Island area and I was proficient enough in my mimicry and illusion work that we were able to enroll in school with a late start due to our “parents” and their extremely generous donations. It certainly helped that Nadia and I were both whip smart. 

I remembered the day Spidey was talking about. Some jack booted Hydra thug had stormed the grounds and held my class hostage, because his primary target, Anna, who was the daughter of a senator, was my classmate. Luckily, she sat about as far away from me as popular so the Agent was never able to see my face. I didn’t realize the whole upset was over until I had felt a large hand rubbing my back. 

Of course it was Spider-Man that came to my rescue. That day seemed to repeat itself over and over with no end sight. Of course he was comforting me. His super hearing was the first power I’d ever assimilated by accident. We should test that more in the lab. 

As I opened my mouth to finally suggest a battery of tests to Peter, FRIDAY started shouting instructions to be heard over the loud clang of the emergency bell. 

Science could wait.


	12. Seems Like a Good Idea to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again apologies for any editing, grammar issues but hey, this chapter is at least sort of coherent. There’s a time jump in here

A few months later

The alarm cut through my concentration. It turned out to be just a bigger Code Green false alarm. We’d had two in the last week. I’m not blaming it on any specific individuals but there’s was something to be said in the 200% uptick in near Code Green’s since Dr. Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis, intern and mechanical engineer extraordinaire returned from Reykjavik. But who was I to complain? After the relocated to the Tower back in May, just three months ago, there were more Strawberry pop tarts in the pantries than I’d ever seen before in my life. And it was so relieving to have another ‘devil may care’ woman around the Tower. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love Natasha for all that she is but she’s just a teacher to me. And Wanda read as more of a mom friend in my mind. Darcy is the kind of girl you make up desperate housewives drinking games with. We gravitated toward each other immediately, bonding over baking, needling Tony, and the bemoaning the lack of clubbing appropriate company. She also held no judgment for me about my past, which I couldn’t believe until I saw her and Bucky making googly eyes at each other from across the room, then it all clicked. 

Darcy Lewis had become my best friend, big sister and closest confidant and just a week’s time. Now, a few months later, there were still no hydra threats and my probation was set to be lifted this evening. “The perfect time to go clubbing “ Darcy had declared it, before enlisting my strengths to remove, forcibly if necessary, the science squad from their labs. And then to force them out into the world of the living. The only member to straight up refuse was Tony, as was expected. We had been… Cordial to one another but never anything more. I am nearly positive he had Friday keep tabs on my location just so he could avoid me at all times. Inevitably, we would run into each other Coming and going from our quarters or as we made our way to and from our designated lab spaces. I still didn’t quite understand why Tony lived on the same floor as the rest of the avengers, when I knew damn well he had his own penthouse in the tower.

Anyways, my lab was certainly something to behold. The calling it my lab was a bit of a stretch considering I didn’t build anything really, I just tested my powers and checked my biological markers with gadgets that Tony, Bruce, and Dr. Helen Cho had come up with together. We were still waiting for a contact from group called the guardians who would potential he be able to determine what part alien I am. But it was the world’s most high tech library/relaxation room/artist’s studio. All to make remaining in it all day for the sake of data aggregation tenable. 

To say I was bored out of my mind at first was an understatement. But over time I began to have visitors. Darcy was a daily, and surprisingly, so was Pietro. Peter and Bucky also visited, if less frequently. And, oddly enough, Vision was there almost all the time. I asked him about it once and he shrugged (how does a former AI program shrug so effectively) and simply stated that my presence combed his mind. Whatever that meant.

In any case, I wasn’t as bored or lonely anymore. In fact, I could almost swear that something was developing between Pietro and I.

Earlier this week, as I was doing the Times word search and also project in my powers to deflect incoming projectiles, my hair was flipped up and into my face, causing my concentration to skip which led to a tennis balls smacking me right in the face. Above me Pietro burst out laughing and DUM-E beeped apologetically. 

“I don’t think I can forgive you for this,“ I deadpanned, reaching back to jab him in the kidney, which he promptly dodged, all the while still cackling. When his laughing fit finally subsided, he stood back up straight. 

“I have an idea, “he announced proudly.

“Stop the presses everyone, and called the Vatican, Speedy here has an idea. It must be a miracle. First one in a decade. The world must be ending,” I replied, looking at him and trying not to smirk. I will give him props, because the obscene shocked and hurt that filled his face moments later was almost convincing. He chuckled and moved to sit on the stool next to me. He said nothing, only staring at me.

“Okay Zippy, what was your big idea?”

“You haven’t tested your instinctual and biological responses enough. For example, the fight or flight instinct is recreated too imperfectly in simulated situations to be of any use to you. However, there is another way around that beyond throwing yourself into open combat.” I tilted my head, waiting for him to continue. He leaned forward placing his hands on my side and leaning closer. Hesitant but not opposed, my eyes fluttered chat. Instead of kissing me as I had assumed (hoped!) was his plan, I felt his lips brush against the shell of my ear. I shattered at the sensation, anticipating. 

“I have a question “, he whispered. I mumbled my acknowledgment and it took me a few seconds to process what he had said and by that time it was already too late. “ are you ticklish,” he had whisper gently. Now he was mercilessly attacking my side with one, extremely quick fingers, whenever I moved to try to escape, he was there. 

I collapsed to the ground, giggling breathlessly before I cut myself and put on my grumpy face. Pietro smiled lazily and shifted so his knees were on either side of my thighs.

“ if you tickle me again, I’ll scream,” I warned him. 

“ I bet I could have you screaming my name,” he replied cheesily. 

“ I actually hate you right now. I’m considering making you my official arch nemesis. I might make T-shirts. And badges. Definitely badges.”

“Who’s making badges? Didn’t you know nemesis badges are so last season? This is why you should consult the great and powerful Darcy on all things,” came the snarky voice of my best friend from the lab door. I urgently pushed Pietro up and off of me. But as was the theme of the day, I was seconds too late, and Darcy saw us in a position that looked extremely compromising without context. 

She raised her eyebrows at me, cheeks twitching as she managed, for once, to hold back whatever retort she thought of once she saw me beneath Pietro. Instead she readjusted herself and offered me a hand to pick me up off of the slightly dusty floor. I made a mental note to give DUM-E the swiffer tonight. 

After I was back on my feet and thoroughly dusted off, Darcy approached the silver haired man who was currently leaning against one of my shoulder high bookshelves, jabbing her finger into his sternum. “You hurt my sister and I know an Asgardian who can make your life a living hell. And no, I’m not talking about Thor. Plus, you should be scared of me, I’ve bested him in combat once before and I can certainly take you. So watch yourself Maximoff,” she growled before stomping away, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me along behind her.  
“We’ve talked about this,” she hissed at me after her suite door slammed behind us. She’d been silent the entire elevator ride down to her floor. I loved Darcy but she was still a little paranoid about FRIDAY always being present and listening in. 

“Darcy it wasn’t like that, he... tickled me?”

She snorted in disbelief. “Yeah I bet he did. Looked like he wanted to do a lot more from where I was standing kid. I’m telling you he’s bad news. What do you see in him anyways?”

I scoffed at her insinuation that somehow, Pietro would be the rotten one between us. “Dee I was literally sleeping with Tony Stark a few months ago while I had intimate knowledge of his fiancés fate. Plus I’m not exactly innocent in literally any sense if the word...” I trailed off but she just glared at me, which was her way of telling me that we weren’t leaving until I answered all of her questions. 

I sighed and plopped myself down on her cozy arm chair, putting my feet up. “It’s just... he’s easy to be around Darcy. It’s not hard, I don’t have to think about anything twice, there’s no pressure. He’s funny, makes me smile, puts up with my shit. And he doesn’t want more from me than I’m willing to give. We’re as easy as breathing.” I blinked, shocked at the words that had just come out of my mouth. Sure, I would admit to having a crush on the guy, he was hot and snarky. I loved that. Wait, love? I really was losing my mind. 

“You know what, forget anything I just said. Let’s go out clubbing, like you suggested and find me a man to get under for the night. I have to blow off some steam. I’m delusional and sappy over here.”

Darcy shrugged, noncommittally. “What?!” I demanded, confused as all hell. 

“If you really feel that way about him, you should tell him. He may not be pushing you to give more than you’re ready for, but is he going to be prepared to give you everything you want, or is he just here for the safe convenience of it Kaida? You two have been prancing around each other like orphaned fawns, afraid to let yourselves get hurt and calling it sacrifice for the other. Or maybe he just doesn’t care and wants to play dirty because you’re available and convenient. “

I was a little hurt at her words but I could see the truth behind them. It was time Pietro and I had a chat. But not before I went out and had fun with my best friend. I relayed that thought to Darcy who excitedly squealed as we plotted to get the Science Squad out and about with us. 

That brings us to now. Several of us piling into the biggest limo I’d ever seen. Bruce, Jane, Nat, Clint, Thor, Wanda, Pietro, Sam, Helen, the super soldiers, and even Peter had elected to join Darcy and I out tonight. It was certainly going to be one for the history books. 


	13. It’s Like a Drug, I Can’t Say No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to be more regular here but no promises. I do work two jobs among other things. Thanks so much for reading! Song title is Don’t Break My Heart by Hey Violet

Smushed as we were in the back of the vehicle, it was oddly calming. For the first time today I felt as though I had time to just think for myself. I brushed my hand along my inner left forearm and shivered as a chill climbed down my spine. The perfectly raised but horrifically off kilter writing simply read ‘cereal?’ today. Not much to go on if I were actively looking for my soulmate. Not that I would. 

Whatever being it was that decided that two halves, or sometimes thirds or fourths of the same soul, would be imprinted with the first and last words their counterparts said for that day, was a complete and total madman. 

It wasn’t a whole lot to go off of. I knew they were older than me, because I’d gotten the marks king before I could speak and I was advanced for my age. I knew they were New Yorkers just by the way they’d mention certain places and things offhand. 

But I wasn’t looking for them. It was fairly obvious to me, at that point, that becoming a fixture in my life was beneficial to absolutely no one. And, based on the blip of feeling or insight I’d get mentally from my soulmate bond, whoever they were had a strong sense of duty. Someone who felt duty bound to a person like me would only end up dead. 

And yeah, maybe I was kidding myself and these were really just excuses to protect myself from losing more of the people I cared about but honestly who gave a fuck. There were millions of people in this city. What were the odds we’d even run into each other. 

Too high. But there was nothing I could do about that. 

And then, after what felt like hours, the car stopped and the group spilled out on to the sidewalk before scrambling to the door of the club, bypassing the line. It was one of the classier, more exclusive establishments in town but not too high brow to preclude any riff raff. 

Cue Darcy Lewis, the bane of all rationality. Darcy’s personality was that of an instigator. I, on the other hand, would never back down when challenged. That meant five tequila shots in five minutes in addition to getting three random numbers. Just for fun. A few shots later and Darcy hauled me on to the dance floor. 

We writhed and twisted around each other, alternating between cackling at one another and concentrating on looking appealing and feeling sexy. Her hands roamed my body and rested on my hips as I playfully ground myself back into her. 

I could see Natasha posted up in the corner, sipping a sea breeze and keeping her eyes open. Bruce stood a few feet away from her, nervously twitching but slugging back some whiskey. Clint was at the bar pounding back beers with Helen, Jane, Thor and Sam. All seemed deeply invested in a manic take the Asgardian was telling, arms flailing and making weird shapes as he attempted to act out whichever feat of heroism was on tap for tonight. Wanda stood behind them but looked a little lost. That’s when I noticed that Pietro and Peter were both missing. 

Peter was easy enough to find, he was perched next to the top of the stairs, keeping up surveillance of the entire place, the boy having no idea how to relax. I was about to mention Pietro’s absence to the brunette behind me when the wind rushed around me. Suddenly, I wasn’t on the dance floor with Darcy but back at the bar with Pietro. 

“What the fuck dude,” I bit out, slapping his arm. “You can’t just speed someone without permission, it doesn’t work like that.” Pietro just shrugged and smiled lopsidedly. It was the kind of smile that got him off for everything. And now was no exception. 

“But Kaida, you promised to show me what body shots were some day. I would like to do them now, if that is okay. I still have not learned all of your silly american customs.” 

I was just gone enough to nod eagerly while my body flushed hot. Body shot demonstrations were requested and so they would be done. We started simple, cleavage shots, I showed him with Darcy and then he practiced on me. His scruff scraped pleasantly against my overheated skin and I trembled. Then Darcy whispered salaciously in Pietro’s ear as I rested up against the bar. In a flash, Pietro‘s hands were squeezing around my hips and I was laying on top of the bar, shirt hiked up.

Tequila was poured and salt sprinkled around my Navel by Darcy freakin Lewis, who, just hours earlier, had scolded both Pietro and I for our touching antics. But now, here she was, encouraging Pietro to haul me on to the bar. Before I could process that emotional whiplash, Pietro’s face was hovering over my stomach, a wicked smile filling his expression. I squirmed and he responded by dipping his head, using his tongue to swipe up the salt from my body before continuing down and sucking on my navel, slurping up all the tequila. My body was positively on fire. I opened my mouth in a breathless moan and nearly choked when my best friend shoved the rind of lime between my teeth. Her face was quickly replaced by Pietro’s. His eyes burned into mine, his pupils blown, dark and hungry. He placed his mouth over mine, biting down surprisingly gently so lime juice with a hint of a taste that must be pure Pietro flooded my mouth. Icy fire burned through my veins as I completely forgot the discomfort of the hardwood bar pressing against my back. We were drawing closer and closer to each other as Pietro decisively removed the line from my mouth.

The trance was broken by a cough and a throat clearing. The Spiders Two, Peter and Natasha were standing behind Pietro, arms crossed. Nat’s face was expressionless, but Peter‘s emotions were somewhat clear. He looked uncomfortable, annoyed and something else I couldn’t quite get a read on. My mouth fell open in a drunken grin, as I waved awkwardly to them, attempting to lift my head and slide off the bar and to my feet. Unfortunately, I was still more than a little boneless from the whole “Pietro‘s lips and tongue on my body“ situation, so, while I did manage to slide off the bar, landing on my feet and my high heels was a whole different story.

Long story short, I simply didn’t. Fortunately, when you’re friends with other enhanced people, their reflexes are typically pretty good. So I felt long, pale arms lock around my middle and stop me from falling. I grinned widely again at the feeling of thick ropey muscles encompassing me. 

As I righted myself, the arms remained around me, hints of spicy cologne filling my nostrils when I slouched back into the warm body that stood behind me, closing my eyes and tilting my head back to nuzzle into Pietro’s neck. His breath caught and he let out a weirdly high pitches squeak in surprise. 

“Oh shoot,” I stammered reflexively, looking down, “did I step on your foot or something? I know these heels can be a bitch.” It took me a minute to realize why what I was seeing felt so wrong. Instead of the tight black jeans Pietro had been wearing that night, my rescued had on dorky khakis and a blue button up. Peter. 

“Fuck, Peter I didn’t know it was you, god damn I like almost assaulted you there. I’m so, so sorry. Jesus Christ, no more tequila for me ever.” I just kept rattling off apologies until he waved me away and Darcy took my arm to lead me out to a cab that was pulling up for us. It was time for me to go home, so Clint was being sent with me to supervise and make sure I made it back to the Tower in one piece and then he’d take one of Tony’s cars to drive back to his farmstead. “I’ve gotta take the kids to school tomorrow. Laura has a doctor’s appointment and I’m trying to be a good dad. You know, the whole nine yards. Or at least as good of a dad as a world renowned assassin can be.” He ended up using the ride to babble on TL me about everything Nathaniel was getting up to at the moment, and the big fiasco when he found out he was named after a girl and the killer meltdown when his parents rebuked him. 

Clint deposited me in the elevator and hit my floor for me before he took off to the tunnel leading towards our parking garage. For the first fifth floors everything was silent save for the occasional squeak of a gear or run of a pulley. Until the elevator stopped on one of the lab floors. I should have realized in that moment that all but one member of the Science Squad had been out that night, but it didn’t until I saw him step into the elevator beside me. 

We stiffened simultaneously as Tony and I took the other in. Taking opposite corners, we studiously ignored each other as the elevator began moving. It was uncomfortable and deafeningly quiet, but that was probably more than I deserved. And then, as though whatever cosmic being had a direct line to my thoughts coupled with a sick sense of humor, the elevator froze, the lights went dark and an alarm started blaring, quickly followed by the emergency sprinkler system. 

So to recap, I was trapped in a metal box, in the dark, being pelted with cold water, quite similarly to what my parents used to do to Nadia and I. 

It was at this moment that I had my worst panic attack to date. The sharp sense of panic cut down whatever buzz I had built up from the night before. Pure unadulterated terror flooded my chest as I collapsed to the floor, twitching. My chest heaved with silent sobs, my trauma reminding me that if I made a sound, Nadia would be punished and vice verse. Tears streamed down my cheeks and bile coated my throat. I could hear tony working frantically to desired the elevator panel and talking at me. I couldn’t hear what he was saying. It didn’t matter. I was too far gone. 

Minutes, maybe hours passed. Before I could think clearly, I was entirely disassociated and then sleeping in a wet puddle on the floor of our stalled elevator. 

When I woke up the next morning, I was in my own bed, drowning in an oversized hoody that I recognized as one I had stolen from Bucky weeks ago, that if I had to guess, he had originally stolen from Cap. It was royal blue number with a vintage style logo for the Brooklyn Dodgers, whose move was still a sore spot for Steve Rogers. 

I sat up groggily, head pounding. As I finger combed my hair and stood to use my restroom, I heard gently snores coming from the plush sectional in my living room. Lo and behold, the Tony Stark was slumped over, not even under a blanket. The events of last night all came flooding back to me and I flushed a bright pink in embarrassment. I’d never shown just how deep that particular weakness ran for me. I turned back and tried to tiptoe our of the room and down to the communal floor for breakfast when Tony’s voice stopped me in my tracks. 

“I think it’s time we had a talk.”


	14. Here I Go Again

Maybe it was just the tequila that helped loosen my tongue, but Tony and I had a long, drawn out talk about my traumas and feelings, just generally about my history. A lot of water was forced upon me between the occasional vomiting spell, but Tony held my hair away from my face and rubbed my back, like a friend would. And come to think of it, that might be where Tony and I were heading. Granted we had started out as rough as can be, our first few nights, certainly friendly in some regards, were not a foundation for any kind of actual relationship, but that’s what I do overs are for, right?

“You know kid,” Tony remarked from my wet bar, breaking me out of my reverie, “I kinda hate how much I care about you. Deeper than the... rolling between the sheets feelings. Almost like, you could be my best friend. You know with Rhodey up and married in Nantucket of all places, it’s been kind of lonely around here. I’ve got the Spiderling but he’s more of a ward type person. He’s...”

“Too good for us. He’s seen so much and he’s still happy and bright and inquisitive. The kid doesn’t have a suspicious bone in his body. You don’t want to ruin that,” I finished for Tony, completely understanding his sentiments. 

“It’s easier to be broken with other people,” he said while nodding his head and staring distantly out the window. “There’s no expectation of quick fixes or getting better soon. Just understanding, some sick and twisted kind of camaraderie.”

I snorted and shifted upright, patting the spot in the couch next to me. “You know I think I need something like that on a t-shirt: ‘I lost the love of my life and all I got was this shirt and years worth of emotional trauma’.”

“Only if you make me a matching one kid,” Tony replied, plopping down on the couch next to me. His eyes met mine and we smiled softly at each other. There were no feelings of sexual tension. And, come to think of it, I’m not sure there was one to begin with. It was just our fucked up way of working out residual anger and grief that kept bringing us together like that. And now maybe, just maybe, we could start to heal together. 

“I put in a call.”

I stared at Tony blankly, waiting for him to continue, to clarify in some way. 

“You have an appointment with Wilson at 2 this afternoon. You need to talk to someone Kaida. Someone professional that’s going to give you real tools to work through this, and I don’t think sending you to Wakanda like we did with Barnes is the answer. Plus, I don’t think I’d be able to deal with sending you away. Before, well, before we found out about your past... I don’t think you quite understand how much of a crutch you became for me. So call me selfish, but I’d prefer if you didn’t leave this Tower for awhile.”

I bit back my initial protest and let Tony finish, knowing it was hard for him. And he wasn’t wrong. Despite popular opinion, I was totally aware that my life, my coping mechanisms and such, were an absolute dumpster fire. I just never understood the need to change. For the longest time, at least it felt that way, I relied on no one and no one relied on me. So it didn’t matter if my life was garbage. 

I turned to look him in the face and saw that he was gazing at me, concern poorly concealed in those chocolate irises of his. “Stop looking at me like that,” I insisted, adjusting the sweatshirt o was still lounging in, flipping the footrest on my side of the couch out, dropping my gaze at the same time. Planet Earth played silently on the large plasma screen, a scraggly polar bear awkwardly chasing after some kind of bird. “Why are you looking at me like that, Tin Man,” I asked softly, staring intently at that damn scraggly bear. 

“Because I’m worried about you Kaida. And I care. Call it proof the Tony Stark has a heart if you like,” he replied with such softness somehow perfectly blended with his typical bravado. 

Instead of acknowledging him I stood up and pointed at my door. “Get out,” I intoned, stone faced. Tony’s eyes snapped to my face and he tensed. I let the mask fall away and broke out my signature sly grin. “I need to shower and decompress to be at my best for Dr. Wilson today, don’t I?”

“Whatever kid,” Tony huffed, shaking his head good naturedly while rising from my couch. As he caught me in an unexpected bear hug he whispered, “and remember if you don’t show up, FRIDAY will tell me and I’ll drag you down there, kicking and screaming, even if I have to get the rest of the team involved.”

“Yes, Dad,” I groaned, pulling away before I froze. It just, sounded so so wrong to call Tony Dad, even if it was a joke. He choked and backed up a step. 

“How about we just stick to Tony or even Tin Man, whaddaya say?”

“Agreed,” I said quickly, head nodding vigorously. 

Tony inclined his head once before turning on his (probably padded) heel and walking out the door. 

I sat in a recliner across from Sam, fidgeting with the notebook I had brought with me mainly as a distraction. We had already been through the basic, intro to your own personal brand of trauma questions: who was your family, where is your family, what kind of family was it, why did your family operate that way, etc. I was doing just fine. It was easy to detach myself from everything beyond Nadia. I’d even gotten decently good at that part in front of other people. 

It was when Sam had asked whether I had loved anyone who wasn’t my family that I lost my shit. I clammed up and shut down immediately. Discussing Clarissa was going to take time. More time than either of us had to tackle tonight. 

Sam just sighed and sat forward in his chair, steepling his hands under his chin, elbows resting on his knees. His eyes searched my face before he spoke. “It’s okay to not be ready today Kaida. It won’t go away until we work on it though. And there’s something I need you to at least remember for the time being. I know you won’t believe it but I need you to hold on to this thought. You’ve changed. And things have changed for you. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to progress and grow and change and live. Doing that isn’t disrespectful of the ones you’ve lost. In fact it’s the opposite. Do something with your life to make it worthwhile. But always remember that things have changed for you and that’s okay.”

Sam stood and opened the door. Mindlessly I stood and walked through it, managing to keep myself together just long enough to get back to my rooms. All the while, even as I was sobbing well past dinner time, Sam’s words clanged around in my head. Thing have changed for me and that’s... okay. It’s okay. Some day, I might start to be okay. 

That night I drifted soundlessly into a dreamless slumber. 

A few weeks passed with Sam and I meeting at least once every week, and I got to get my biomedical freak on with Dr. Banner. That usually just meant me standing behind him and asking questions or occasionally making suggestions. Some, to my surprised, Banner adopted. Others he diplomatically waved off. 

Tony continued to hover, as did literally everyone else. It was beginning to get on my nerves in the best way. 

The whole team felt a little itchy at this point. Not enough leads on the guys who broke into the building. It was all quiet on all fronts. We were more than a little nervous. As I eyeballed some rapidly reproducing cells in a microscopic, my attention was captured by a steady stampede of footsteps approaching down the hall. 

“Kaida,” Steve called from the door of the lab, “its time to suit up, we’ve got a mission.”

“Finally,” I huffed out, tossing my lab coat and goggles into the nearest Work bench and all but sprinted around the Captain. I was raring to finally get back out there and prove myself. And help save the world. 


	15. Maybe Someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some happiness???? Maybe some fluff????? Still a tad heavy BUT ITS NOT AS BAD AS THE OTHERS I PROMISE. I P R O M I S E 
> 
> And a fluffier chapter to come!

All in all, the mission didn’t go terribly. I absolutely did NOT give myself a concussion. If I had one, it certainly wasn’t because of the moment I tried to take the stairs on to the Quinjet too fast and tripped, hitting my head against the landing. If it did, it’s because I was tripped. I don’t know how, but I’d prove it if pressed. 

I’m lying, obviously. I very much did miss a step and I absolutely do have a concussion. I’d die before I admitted it to anyone on the team though. And with super healing, I would definitely be over it in just a few hours. But by the smirk on everyone’s faces, I knew that they knew and that the jokes would come later, probably after training the next morning. Either way, I knew, as I stumbled off the jet that I couldn’t sleep or drink or glue myself to a screen at least for a few hours, so I showered and dressed in shorts and tennis shoes.

I did, however, immediately need to change as FRIDAY had informed me that Tony requested my presence for dinner on the town tonight. While mine and Tony’s relationship was absolutely on the mend, the invitation came as a surprise. Tony also insisted that I wear something he couldn’t find in the lost and found at a local high school. So I threw on mascara and a royal blue sheath dress that was as plain as it was modest. I decided to pull my hair up in a high ponytail with a few strategic strands left loose around my face, and I grabbed my go-to black clutch and black kitten heels. I exited my room and headed for the elevator as Friday indicated I should. 

Tony owned an obnoxious number of fancy cars, so I wasn’t surprised to see him leaning up against a midnight blue Audi Spyder with red leather interior. Tony simply gestured for me to get in and we drove out of the garage.

The first few seconds were spent in utter silence, save for the rev of the engine. I went to ask Tony what this was all about but he waved his hand to stop me. “all will be revealed in time, young Padawan.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes at the 54-year-old mega nerd in the seat next to me. He looked over at me and grinned. It was a genuine Tony smile, eyes crinkling and face softening. It was one of those smiles that made you feel at home.

“for a grandpa, you’re pretty cool Tony,” I said, smirking as I needled him for his age again. It was a two-way street, obviously. For as much as he needled me about being young, I threw it right back. But in definite Tony fashion, he would always just roll with it. 

We pulled into the valet lane of a fancy restaurant, far fancier than any I’d ever willingly gone to. It had to be one frequented by celebrities, based on the security and the set up that obviously encouraged privacy. 

That, and I could see the paparazzi crouched around different corners on the block, waiting to get that one picture that would grace the covers of their dirty gossip rags the next day. 

Inside, the soft lighting set the mood for a quiet, peaceful evening, one which was so far removed from the clamor and rush outside that it felt like another planet. I saw Tony visibly relax as the maître d’ smiled and led us back to a corner booth. Tony and I slid in on opposite sides and I searched the table for a menu. When I didn’t find one, I looked up at my friend, confused.

“No menus for regulars,” he explained, “ they’ll just put in my usual order plus guest. They're used to me calling the shots for the party around here.”

“ you’re such an arrogant ass Stark. Remind me how anyone tolerates you again?”

“Now, now Kaida, be careful what you say. You and I, we’re two sides of the same coin. And we've done the no pants dance together,” he finished, waggling his eyebrows. 

“Which,” I said quickly, “we both agreed was a mistake. How are you a teenage boy and a fossil at the same time?” I cried out in exasperation, warmth flooding my cheeks. I cursed myself internally for showing my embarrassment. 

We sat in silence for a few heartbeats when the waiter brought over a bottle of Cabernet and poured two glasses and left the bottle. I grabbed my glass and gulped it down, earning a glare from Tony who was, by now, very aware that I was not quite 21. Wisely, he kept his mouth shut, since evidence of his own underage exploits were well documented. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table and propped his chin up on his hands. He looked at me intently for a moment before he blew out a breath and said, “I brought you here to talk about your future.”

“I don’t know how you want me to respond to that Tony. I thought that was part of the whole hero-shtick, planning for the future isn’t something we do. At all. Bad luck and all. Then you get attached and have everything to lose. That’s just inviting trouble.”

“That’s...fair,” Tony acquiesced, and I could see that he understood far too well. “I actually brought you out here to discuss my will and your place in it.”

To say I was dumbfounded would be putting it lightly. My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water and my heart roared in my ears. Discussing something so final almost felt like too much for me. 

“Kaida, come back to me,” Tony snapped, trying to pull me back in. I blinked a few times before centering myself and taking three deep breaths. I placed my elbows on the table and mimicked Tony’s pose. “Okay, what about it? And why would I have a place in your will?” I questioned. Sure we were on the path to being good friends, but for a guy like tony, this had to be a big deal. 

“Well, like you said, our time among the living is more threatened than most and my single greatest fear is not being able to protect and provide for the people I care about. You’re one of those people Kaida. And if I’ve learned anything about you these past few months, it’s that you feel the same.”

“Yeah, but I’m alone,” I muttered, and then corrected myself, “I’m not alone I just don’t have anyone that relies just on me or that I need to take care of. And I’ve done just fine on my own for the past few years...” I trailed off as he stared me down. 

“Fine is not the word I would use Kaida. And that’s beside the point. I have full faith in your ability to survive, but I want you to thrive. Beyond that, I’ve seen the marks on your arms, you have soulmates out there waiting for you. Don’t you want to be able to care for them when you meet them?”

“Soulmate, now,” I corrected. “Just singular.” I saw Tony’s eyes widen and fill with realization and guilt. 

“That’s why I’ve never seen your writing on the left arm change or move. I just never thought anything of it. If you want to talk about it, I”m here.” Tony reached across the table to grab my hand before thinking better of it. But when he saw tears begin to flood my eyes, he quickly flipped to my side of the booth and pulled me in for a tight hug.

“Long story short,” I croaked out after a few minutes, “her name was Clarissa and I’m the reason she’s dead. It’s bad for Hydra’s assassin protégé to have distractions and loyalties beyond her handlers, so they killed her in front of me and they did not let her go quickly.” I closed my mouth and shuddered, pushing past the bile that was now fitting to escape my throat.

“So,” I continued fire sculpt, “I don’t want to ever meet my soulmate. That’s the only way I can actually protect them. By keeping my distance. I can feel them and I know they’re here in New York, but I’ll be damned if I ever seek them out or let them get close. I don’t think I’d survive that Tony. I really don’t.”

“Oh honey,” he said gently, “that’s what I thought with Pepper at first, but I don’t regret one moment of the time I had with her. She made me better, and that’s all we can ask for at the end of the day.”

I wanted so badly to argue but deep down I knew he was right. My fear was warranted, but I had to get over it someday. Just not today. 

I said as much to Tony and he whole heartedly agreed. 

“Anyways, back on the topic of my will, I’m leaving you about half of my estate and the Tower. Parker’s getting the company, but I’ve written you on to the board as soon as you get some kind of degree. Speaking of which, we should really get working on that, I have connections at MIT and all the Ivies...”

He trailed off as he noticed my face scrunch up. “What? Why are you making that face?”

“I sort of already go to school Tony, you just didn’t know because it’s still July. I was going to bring it up to you soon... I just didn’t know how academic leave for the Avengers looked or worked.”

“And where do you go?” Tony shot back. If he raised his eyebrows any further, they were going to leave his face completely. 

“I’m going into my fourth year at NYU, Tony. I started young, sorta like you.”

With an exasperated sigh, he moved a hand to his forehead. His eyes snapped shut as he braced himself. “And what, pray tell, is your major.”

“Majors,” I corrected him, which is about the fourth of fifth time I’d done so in the past few hours which had to be a new record. “But if you must know, I’m doubling in English and Archaeology.”

“That does explain the books in your room and your insistence on creating adequate reading nooks throughout the Tower.”

“And my love for the old and decrepit,” I sang, gesturing at him. He scowled at me and took a drink from his wine glass.

“In any case, I don’t know how those will officially help you in steering my business. And, if you were any good with people I’d throw into my press office to learn the ropes, but that would just be bad for business. 

First of all, I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that Yony was entrusting me with at least part of the future of his legacy. Fortunately, some of my future plans could help.

“Well, actually,” I started, which was never a phrase Tony wanted to hear come out of my mouth, “I intend to go to law school after I graduate...”

By the way Tony groaned, you’d’ve thought I’d have him to do something horrible, like speak at another graduation ceremony. That’s what ranked on top of Tony’s personal list of terrors. “A gotdamn lawyer? Really? I though it couldn’t get worse than Parker’s computer science undergrad or Darcy’s political science masters. I’ve gotta be cursed,” he finished with a mutter, downing the rest of his wine and hailing a staff member and requesting a glass of their finest whiskey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to try to update again later today. Thanks for reading


	16. How Long Before You Tell the Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a beta and I’m super excited everyone!!! Thank you @InspiretheFire!! I’ll officially link you up when I’ve got new access to my laptop.

We ate and returned home, hugging before going our separate ways. As I was, obviously emotionally incompetent, the outpouring of feeling from that evening had left me exhausted. So I immediately returned to my bed and asked FRIDAY to enforce privacy protocols of my own design that essentially locked down access to my room in every instance, with the only exception being global catastrophe of ongoing attack at the tower. 

I slept soundly, waking up with distinct and deep sheet lines on my face and arms. I felt more than a little sticky and gross and I felt drool crusties running from my moth to my jawline, so I immediately hopped into the shower, blasting the most recent indie mix on Spotify. My stomach started growling about midway through rinsing out my conditioner. 

As it was well past 10 AM, I expected the communal kitchens to be empty as I went downstairs to steal some strawberry pop tarts from the cupboard. 

Everyone but FRIDAY would snitch on me if I so much as sniffed at the pop tarts and Jane Foster and Co. Would come barreling in to reprimand me, which was adorable but not ideal. 

Instead, I found the entire team huddled together in the sitting room area, staring expectantly at me as the elevator doors opened. 

“Was there a memo I missed about a team meeting or...,” a second later, the realization of what day it was hit me, “shit, you didn’t somehow manage to figure out when my birthday is did you? I really hate birthday celebrations so if this is a surprise party, I’d prefer to go back to bed. But you all could still have fun and eat the cake, I wouldn’t be upset or anything!!!” They let me babble on like that for a solid 90 seconds before I finally shut up and just stared back at them, waiting for an explanation. 

Softly, from the back of the crowd, I heard Peter mutter happy birthday, almost as though he couldn’t stop himself from acknowledging what I had just said I didn’t want to acknowledge at all, ever. Which was just the kind of guy Peter was. He didn’t know any other way, not really. 

“Have you seen the news today,” Steve asked gruffly from where he stood, arms crossed, looming over Tony who was sitting on the couch looking particularly pale. Not that that was necessarily out of the ordinary for Tony. Darcy and I had to regularly fight him to get him not only out of the lab but out of the Tower itself during daylight hours. But he looked concerned. 

Instead of answering what was clearly a rhetorical question (clear because logically, they only would have known I was coming if FRIDAY had alerted them. Which absolutely means that FRIDAY also told them as soon as I woke up and what I was doing. I couldn’t blame her though) I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket and opened my twitter (which I still refused to share with the team. Privacy is enshrined in the constitution y’all, not that you’d know based on rampant government surveillance that goes unwarranted and undocumented. *cough cough* SHIELD). 

It became obvious what had happened from the very first trend I saw. #MistressStark. There were several paparazzi and covert phone camera photos of Tony and I at the restaurant as well as coming and going. Someone even found pictures of us in a group outing with the entire team. There were pictures of us holding hands, of Tony holding me with my face buried in his neck, and some of us smiling and staring at each other intently. 

There was all kinds of wild speculation about who I was. Almost as much speculation on me as there was slander on Tony, for things like our obvious age difference, my two soulmarks and his lack of any active marks, how long it took him to cast aside Pepper, his soulmate, amongst other things. 

It was a whole thing. Without missing a beat, I locked my phone and strode over to the window and peered down towards the entrance, immediately seeing the gaggle of reporters crowded around the doors, pushing and mulling about as security tried to clear a path for the harried employees just trying to go to work inside of the building. People often forgot that the Tower was also a corporate space in addition to it housing a squad of super-powered and otherwise fantastic individuals. 

I turned on my heel and strode towards the elevator. No one moved to stop me which both was and wasn’t surprising. For a bunch of enhanced, they were all very slow on the uptake when surprised or concerned. But also, there version of slow was still typically faster than the average persons. 

FRIDAY alerted me, as I stepped out of the elevator on the ground floor that several of the others were currently rushing down the stairs to reach my location and that the team requested I wait for them to arrive.

Later on they would all tell me that none of them were surprised that I refused to wait. They weren’t even surprised how colorful my language could get while agitated. Normally, I’d be proud. My vitriol was something twisted that I prided myself on. Something to bring up in therapy, that’s for sure. 

The only problem was, my mind ended up slipping into more of a rage induced haze. I could recall nothing after I pushed past some security specialists and out of the glass doors. In fact, if there weren’t video, I’d almost believe nothing had happened at all. But of course, there was plenty of bystanders taking video that would later end up on YouTube. 

By all accounts and angles, I was absolutely terrifying. I screeched and yelled and ranted as the sky darkened overhead and the wind started gusting. One reporters black hat flew off the top of his head and smacked straight into the umbrella on a hot dog stand with enough force to topple the whole cart. 

Shadows gathered and curled around my limbs as I floated a few inches off the pavement. Unfortunately, this scared absolutely none of the reporters away. They were New Yorkers through and through. New Yorkers that had survived everything from the Chitauri to Thanos and his goons. 

It wasn’t until lightning started striking the area around the gaggle that surrounded me that people got visibly twitchy on the video feed. At around that same time, the rest of the team, or at least Bucky and Peter and Pietro broke onto the scene. A quick, but strong zap had Pietro down for the count. Peter approached slowly, hands in the air, probably speaking in soothing tones, but he couldn’t be heard over the thunder and howling winds. 

I grinned in spite of myself as I saw myself throw him back and away from me, just like I had in that one alley. Simpler times, even though it wasn’t that long ago.

One of the angles captured on a cellphone camera from someone sitting outside a cafe across the street showed my eyes and finger tips glowing a brilliant purple. Something that surprised even me. Purple was new. And potentially dangerous. 

Which is why, at the exact moment the color began to intensify along with the brightness, Bucky friggin Barnes chucked a tranq dart and hit me square in the neck. Seconds later, I was just a crumpled mess on the pavement, surrounded by stunned reporters. Stunned until the rest of the Avengers came pouring out of the building for clean up duty.

 

What ensued was the longest press conference of Tony and I’s lives. No one hated it more than Bruce though, especially as he was the one who had to handle most of the logistical/scientific questions concerning my enhancement. It was always difficult, naming and classifying new enhancements, let alone dissing out the biological indicators that were unique with that specific mutation.

It didn’t help that not even I knew whether or not I was born this way or if my mutation presented itself from the trauma inflicted by my parents. 

And there was that tiny little issue of my former occupation as Hydra’s new soldier-in-training. 

But beyond that, once the press (and later the government) was satisfied that they could fully comprehend my abilities, which for the most part fell under the new umbrella of power assimilation (the ability to copy and keep any enhancement or mutation met in the field), they all dispersed, probably to make publishing deadlines for that evenings news. 

There were certainly less ideal circumstances to become an official member of the team, Bucky reminded me when I slumped over onto the couch in my living room. All I wanted to do was mope, but apparently there’s no moping in superhero baseball, or something like that. I realized quickly that he was talking about himself and the whole Thanos situation. He was right. It could be worse.

But goddamn this sucked and I just really wanted to mope. 

After that afternoon, we were all exhausted. Tony had retired to his lab and taken Foster and Banner with him. Steve and Bucky took the rest of the team upstate to the compound for the rest of the weekend. All phones were carefully set to ‘Do Not Disturb’ after we all checked that our emergency contact bypass was functioning, in case of emergency.

I couldn’t help but feel like emergency in this instance was code for another me-level meltdown. Which was a little flattering. At least as flattering as it was frustrating. On the upside, maybe I’d get a cool code too. Maybe even just a Code Purple protocol to compliment Bruce’s. 

At least the team had forgotten about my birthday.

Except for Darcy, who showed up at my door that evening armed with both Legally Blondes and Princess Diaries, two bottles of wine, and strawberry pop tarts with a single candle stuck rather creatively in them. She lit the candle. I blew it out and we both fell asleep on my bed, wine drunk and substantially happier than before. 

I slept so deeply that not even Tony breaking into my apartment to pat my head and rest an envelope on the cushion in front of me woke me at all. Neither did Darcy leaving at around 8AM. 

I didn’t stir again until after lunchtime the next day.

Happy birthday indeed.

When Monday rolled around, I refused to be holed up in the Tower any longer. I was out, running my errands, spending hours in bookstores and making fun of tourists in my head like usual. Nothing out of the ordinary save for a few particularly brave reporters who would occasionally approach me, only to be met with a blank stare and a middle finger. I was slowly on my way to being the most talked about topic in years and I hated it. 

I knew I never actually went anywhere alone. Someone was always tailing me, usually Bucky. But he always kept his distance and if I tried really hard, I could almost forget he was there. But after a few days, it just felt like I was burdening him.

Surely, Bucky had better things to do than follow me around as I tried anything to feel a little more normal. So I started going out less and less. 

Sam was not happy with this development. I told Sam in no uncertain terms that he could go fuck himself. 

Sam was a good therapist. He was never offended, he just rolled his eyes and jotted down some notes in the notebook that I’m pretty sure he’d set on fire before let another person touch it. I had tried, and failed, several times. 

All in all, things were pretty quiet around the Tower. As quiet as a family of superheroes could be, that is.


	17. I Lost Myself in a Familiar Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge huge shout out to my beta for being available to edit this chapter almost immediately. Two updates in one day??? What?????

It had been awhile since my last solo public outing. Or as solo as one could be with a tail. Not that I begrudged the team that. No one, especially me, wanted a repeat of the last time. But I missed my independence. Even back when it was just Nadia and I, my alone time was precious and respected. I went to events alone, I went out to eat alone. Given the choice, I would almost always choose to be alone.

So when I saw that my favorite author was coming in to town on the same day that I was planning to attend a concert (I’d had THOSE tickets for about a year now), I knew I had to make a day out of it, especially with school around the corner and the itchiness I felt at the lack of action we were seeing around the world. All of the Avengers, with the exceptions of the Science Squad and myself, were spending the majority of their time at the newly remodeled compound upstate. 

Today was one of the first of many moving days, however, so everyone had sojourned back to the Tower. 

I knew that it was now or never if I was going to make plans to make a day out of going to these two events. My options were limited. It was either take a member of the team (bless my foresight to purchase two tickets), or travel with a Happy-type person. Maybe even Happy Hogan himself. Stranger things have happened. 

Neither were great options, so I decided to consult the only man on Earth who could be considered an expert on creating a public spectacle, or inversely, avoiding one, before I chose between the lesser of two evils. 

FRIDAY announced that Tony was in his lab, as per usual, so I hopped into the elevator. When it opened, I was surprised to find that he wasn’t alone. Drs. Banner, Foster and Selvig were also present, as was Peter. Despite the blaring music (some sort of vaguely familiar classic rock that screamed Stark Playlist) Tony popped his head up right as I stepped off the elevator. The Science Squad had all been bent over the same table, analyzing some sort of graph and tables that just looked like nonsensical mumbo jumbo to me. 

“Find anything revolutionary in those dusty tombs yet? Or are you just reading a Bronte sister book again and waiting for dear old Mr. Darcy to sweep you off your feet for the millionth time?” Tony hooted, still not over the revelation of my majors, which I had told him weeks ago at this point. It should also be pointed out that Tony had run around the Tower like a child, screaming at everyone that he found my parents and that they were Lara Croft and Indiana Jones. Some archaeology jokes never got old… people kept right on digging them up.

Instead of answering him, or dignifying his jokes with the correction I so desperately wanted to make, I commandeered a newer invention of Tony’s that he had dubbed the Iron Lazy Boy, which was exactly what one thought it would be. A floating, moving, intelligent reclining chair. Tony made vague noises of protest as I made myself at home. Jane and Erik shifted to a different table in the lab.

“I assume,” Bruce began, “that you have a reason for your visit.” A safe assumption since the connotation of labs and experiments still set me on edge. 

“One of your Ph.D’s must have something to do with being right all the time Doc, because you’re spot-on again. However, I actually came to pick Tin Man’s brain this time. Sorry, Brucey. I’ll bring some of those banana muffins you like the next time I come for a visit.” I’d picked up baking and watching an inordinate of baking competition shows in my free time. Code Green had a soft spot for my banana nut muffins. “Don’t worry, though,’ I continued, “you’re still my favorite pseudo grandparent/mad scientist.” Tony feigned hurt and indignation at that but Bruce just waved me off, used to my needling at that point.

“What’s up, kid,” Tony asked, perching on his own workbench.

“I’m going out tomorrow-” I was immediately cut off by an exasperated groan that emanated from both of the Science Bros. I held up a hand as Tony took a breath in preparation to speak. “I know, let’s not repeat last time, I didn’t like it anymore than the rest of you. So I came to ask Tony if I should drag one of you along with me or take a not-so-happy Happy force.” Both men seemed surprised at my seemingly effortless acceptance that I could no longer pull a loner day out, as they had taken to calling them.

“I was thinking about asking Darcy or Pietro, since it would probably bore them less…” For some reason this caused Bruce and Tony to glance sharply at each other once again. Before any of us could speak, Jane called out that she and Darcy already had plans the following day, to which I shrugged and said, “So it’s Pietro then. And if he can’t… Happy.”

“Normally I’d give you the green light,” Tony started, smiling sheepishly as dread curled in my stomach, “but Bruce here,” Tony continued as he nudged his friend meaningfully, “has been dying to get Pietro into his lab for about three weeks now. But, never fear, I’m sure we can find an adequate replacement.”

For some reason, Bruce looked almost scandalized at Tony’s overly enthusiastic announcement, which probably meant that it was a lie. He didn’t even protest like Bruce normally did. As I expected him to. Instead, he nodded and stared holes in the floor.

“AND,” Tony continued, almost comically pleased with himself at that point, “I’ll be flying out to Malibu and taking the Happy squad with me. So if you really want to do this, you’ve gotta take Bucky.”

“No. Absolutely not. That’s not even a good idea. Bucky would come, leaving two fairly damaged former Hydra assassins vulnerable not only to the press but to Hydra at large. Which means that Steve would also insist on tagging along and I really don’t feel like explaining every little niche thing that happens tomorrow to two centenarians.”

Tony’s shoulders slumped, and he looked around the room, avoiding my eyes out of guilt. But when Tony’s eyes landed on Peter, who was bent over his own workbench, working on his web shooters again probably, his eyes lit up like Rockefeller Center on New Years Eve. “Pete,” he called out sharply, causing the curly-haired brunette to startle and shot his head upwards. 

“You have to take Peter,” Tony crowed. “You have to drag Peter along on you loner day out.”

“What?” Both he and I exclaimed at the same time. Tony just shrugged and explained that ultimately it made sense because Peter and I were both young nerdlings and that he was hoping to find someone to pawn Peter off on for the day. “All work and no play makes Spiderling a dull boy,” Tony joked as he finished talking. Peter by then had crossed the room and come to stand beside me. “Speaking of which, you’re dismissed for the rest of the day, Parker., Go plan your day out together and get some rest. Remember that FRIDAY is going to alert me if you try to escape through the window to go on patrol again.”

Peter flushed red to the tips of his ears but said nothing. Tony and Bruce turned back towards each other before walking to the other scientists, Peter and I clearly dismissed. I hopped out of the chair and strode towards the elevator, feeling Peter close on my heels. 

As the doors closed and I hit the button for our floor, I looked over at Peter who had his arms crossed over his chest, leaning into a corner. “That was nice,” I said. His eyes flickered over to mine and I could see him debating whether or not to respond. His curiosity won out in the end. 

“What was nice?” he asked gruffly.

“Tony, acting like you’re his son or something. It’s just… nice is all.” Peter shifted, standing up straight and taking me in more intently. After a few seconds of silent stillness, Peter nodded. “After my Aunt May died, he took me in. I would’ve gone into foster care otherwise. I’m this close to calling him dad, like all the time.”

I grinned at him. The genuine joy and contentment Peter showed, despite his sad circumstances, when he talked about Tony was infectious. The elevator doors opened and we stepped out, my smile still in tact.

“That’s nice,” Peter said, as we stopped in front of my door. 

“Hm?” I murmured as I pressed my thumb against the scanner, while placing my eye in front of the retina scanner. 

“Your smile. You don’t do it very often. Actually a genuine smile of yours is so damn rare. I think the last time I saw it was when Thor made the Wii explode after a particularly grueling round of MarioKart. Usually your smile is just so forced. It’s… just really nice.” He finished, echoing my statement from moments ago. Unable to fully process the compliment for what it was, I kicked Peter in the shin and stepped inside my apartment. 

“Peter Parker thinks he’s so smooth and clever, huh?” I joked, watching him flush again. He brought his hand up to the back of his neck, embarrassed, but his eyes still gleamed when he saw that I was still smiling. 

“Woah,” Peter said, spinning around and taking in my room. I thin realized that the last time he’d been inside was when the room was stripped down to its bare essentials after the Hydra incident. Now it was full of me. Wall to wall bookshelves and display cases and picture frames everywhere but the kitchenette. In my living room, there was a mesh hammock spread between two particularly deep but not tall bookshelves that opened up to make room for a window. Or a visible one at least. There was even a Beauty and the Beast-esque rolling ladder that was absolutely unnecessary, seeing as I could levitate, but I had insisted. 

Hardwood floors had prepared the linoleum and slate blue plush rugs littered the floor space, and the lights above simulated soft sunshine breaking though the clouds. 

“Welcome to my own person dreamscape, Peter. If you mention it to anyone else, I’ll strangle you.” Your girl had a reputation to uphold. Peter just shrugged and plopped down on my pale grey sectional.

“So, give me the plan for tomorrow, so I know what to be prepared for as your newly minted, unpaid bodyguard.”

He laughed when I threw a book shaped pillow at his head and threatened him with great violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t forget to leave kudos or comments if you’re feeling it!!!


	18. Twin Fire Signs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluff. I tried to do more with this chapter but this is where it wanted to go. Also someone asked me for a facecast of Kaida, and while I don't necessarily have one, Kaida's parents are Middle Eastern and Russian and I've imagined she looks a little like Emeraude Toubia in this picture: https://tinyurl.com/KaidaFaceCast

In one part of the tower, an odd tea party was being had. As Bruce sipped on his tea, which was still steaming which had never stopped him before, he stared at the restless scientist sat across from him. 

“So, when did you hack into my research?” He asked Tony. 

Tony didn’t even try to deny the accusation. He had indeed hacked into Bruce’s research on Kaida’s biometrics. And because he was Tony Stark, he also had access to all sorts of cutting-edge genetic analysis. 

What most of the world didn’t know was that there was a biological link initiated as soon as soulmates came in contact with one another. Once dormant energy centers in normal cells throughout the body, they would begin shifting, reacting and absorbing a new chemical in a process that hadn’t quite been named. And slowly but surely, soulmates would display biological markers in these enigmatic cells that would be identical to one another. But it was more than that.

Those cells were perfect replications of the other, merged with their most basic cell structures. A perfect merging of the two people. Or three or four, depending on the particular circumstance.

So far, no one in the scientific community had an exact reason for why these biological processes existed. The leading hypothesis was that it created a greater biological compatibility and thus, increased capacity for reproduction. 

Both Bruce and Tony knew this. That’s not why Tony stole Bruce’s data. Tony stole Bruce’s data because he had a hunch.

His initial hunch was wrong. Not entirely, however. Tony believed, and rightly so, that Kaida had already met her final soulmate. He was just wrong about who that was. He was pleasantly surprised to discover the identity of the mystery mate. But of all the Avengers Tony could pick for her, if he was given the option, he, for once, agreed with fate or biology or whatever forces were at play, wholeheartedly.

And though it pained Tony, he knew that that was the final confirmation he needed to really begin letting Kaida go out of his heart and mind. Despite the age difference, he cared for her deeply. The remaining selfish part of him was going to grab on to the small sliver of hope that she would ultimately reject her soulmate and choose someone like him. Just thinking that let alone silently wishing, made him feel endlessly guilty. So he took a drink to chase the guilt away.

Tony winked at Bruce. “That’s for me to know and you to never tell Bruce. And let’s keep this between us, for now. She’s not ready. I don’t think any of us are.” 

Bruce nodded, a knowing twinkle glimmering in his soft eyes.

In another part of the tower, a plan of attack was being drawn out and bets were being made.  
A plan of attack was drawn out and bets were made. And normally, Peter would have been content with that, but I was intentionally keeping him in the dark about the performers for tomorrow. 

“Is creating four different plans with three variations each really necessary?”

“Where’s your sense of adventure Parker? If I’m being forced out with a stick in the mud like you, I have to find a way to have fun with it. And your face gets all scrunched up when you’re overthinking things, and if that isn’t cuter than a Porg, I don’t know what is.”

Peter groaned and clapped his hands over his eyes. “I can’t believe you actually like the porgs. They were like Ewoks 2.0.”

We were in the middle of our Star Wars episodes VII-IX marathon, pausing between the Last Jedi and the finale to grab drinks and snacks. Peter had demanded we watch them all tonight as soon as I had let it slip that I’d never seen anything beyond the original three. To his chagrin, I was enamored with the fuzzy, flying, penguin-esque aliens in the Last Jedi. Something about their wide-eyed screeching just spoke to me, honestly. I needed twenty, immediately.

“Peter, we’ve been over this, I don’t know what an Ewok is. I’ve never seen the prequels and you won’t let me.”

“Trust me, Kai, it’s better that way. Peter knows best, duh.”

Doing my best Pietro impression, I sped to the coffee table where two of Peter’s web shooters lay abandoned as we lounged on the couch. I picked one up and immediately webbed his mouth shut. “We’ve been over what’s going to happen every time Peter talks in the third person. Truly, you’re becoming more and more like Tony in the most annoying of ways possible/“

Peter looked like he wanted to protest but a mouth full of webs would keep anyone quiet. His expression said all that needed to be said, however. Peter was not happy with me. Amused but a little aggravated. His eyebrows were doing the scrunchy thing. I doubled over laughing as a terribly wonderful idea popped into my head. 

I patted around the couch for my phone, finally coming up with it after only a few seconds. Being able to sense electromagnetic fields certainly came in handy. It was a power that I’d plucked from this one guy named Terry who was a handyman for one of Nadia and I’s old buildings. He was also secretly enhanced, but that made him a damn good handyman when it came to residing things or getting the power back on. His plumbing skills though… It would absolutely be easier and cheaper if he just contracted out. 

I quickly snapped a picture of Peter, despite his muffled yells and sent it to Tony. Minutes later, he and Bruce came swaggering through the door. Well, Tony swaggered. Bruce just swayed slightly. 

“So is this what the kids are doing these days?” Tony joked, raising one eyebrow and peering at Peter and I over his glasses. 

“Well ya see Tony, the bad habits that got Peter into this situation are ones that he picked up directly from you, so it’s only fair that you receive equal punishment.” As I said the word ‘punishment’, I whipped up Peter’s shooter and smacked Tony right in the face with web fluid. 

After freezing for a tense second, Bruce began laughing and didn’t stop. He couldn't. He laughed so hard and long he had to sit down and brace himself on the arm of the couch. 

 

The next day I woke up and ran through a quick shower. I tousled my hair artfully and threw on some mascara and lipstick, throwing my favorite eyeliner in my purse for the concert later. I put on a plain white pocket tee. 

It was an outfit an old roommate called the basics of minimalism. It was basic and it was minimal, which was all the rage with the youths these days. Rose gold and monochrome themes had come and gone but the plain white tee should never go out of style. “Especially,” she had said while giggling, “If it was your soulmates tee.” The height of fashion: your biologically destined partner. 

Either way, it was super low maintenance and it definitely felt like that kind of day. Peter dressed similarly in a black t-shirt and grey track pants. I didn’t expect him to dress up just to follow me around all day so it was surprising when he asked me to stow a pair of nice black jeans and a black button down in my oversized purse. I fancied that my bag was a little bit like Hermione Granger’s bag in the Deathly Hallows. Except it was just huge instead of bottomless, but I had pretty much everything you could ever want or need hiding inside if you could wait five minutes or so for me to find it. 

I had informed Peter yesterday that I had wanted to make this a true New York outing, the way I knew and loved it. That meant walking and taking the subway and not really acknowledging one another behind the occasional nudge or bump that would inevitably occur on more crowded sidewalks or other spaces. 

I also had some things planned that would make Peter squirm, which was my favorite way to mess with him. Push him out of his comfort zone and way far out of his goody-two-shoes rep. 

After the disaster with the Accords, Steve’s impeachable, ‘American Patriot’, the perfect shining example of a human persona had dissipated. And when he’d re-emerges after Thanos with that facial hair and Bucky to boot… Let’s just say that America had a new bad boy. 

The whole Captain America face had always been a lie though. Steve had always been rough and tumble and uncouth. 

But the press had loved him anyway and dressed it all up in a cute little bow. Or shield, as was the case. 

Which is why it was so funny to think of Peter. Peter, who as Spider-Man was reviled by the press, was truly as good as gold. He had a dark streak that was maybe a centimeter wide and that was is. Peter who could do no wrong, who had nothing but love for anyone. He was too kind for our line of work. But no one outside of the tower, Ned, Michelle, Gwen, Harry and a few other of Peter’s school friends (college and high school) would ever really know Peter. So I can’t say it was a particularly hard game to play when pushing Peter’s buttons. 

As we descended down into the subway station, I grinned. The boy had no idea what he was in for.


	19. Two A.M., Who Do You Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sort of a few vignettes as time passes pretty quickly in this chapter. But this is by far the longest chapter I've ever written so please enjoy!! Some angst and some fluff. My beta hasn't quite gotten ahold of this one yet so any mistakes are mine!
> 
> Please comment to tell me how you feel about the direction of the story and who you ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have links to my outfit inspo at the end of the chapter!!!

The author signing went off without a hitch. Peter, as always, was the most trusty sidekick a girl could ask for, carrying all of my books and tapping me on the elbow when I came close to hyperventilating as we approached the front of the meet and greet line. When we sat and listened to the author speak, I laughed until I cried and listened to the most hilarious story about bagpipes ever. 

I did feel a little bad though. I’m pretty sure Peter had never heard bagpipes in such close proximity and his enhanced senses certainly couldn’t have helped. But he put on a brave face and took it like a champ. 

At the concert, Peter had in earplugs and wore sunglasses. He laughed at me as I swayed to the music and danced like a maniac. Tony had surprised us that morning with GA Pit tickets and backstage passes. Extravagant and undoubtedly worth an arm and a leg but, as Tony was eager to remind us, he was a billionaire so it didn’t really matter much to him. 

Peter again had to reign me in as I met the band and fawned over the frontman. I’d only been in love with him since I was 12, no big deal. Back then he even had a total dad bod! Now he was ripped and took that opportunity to perform the whole set shirtless.

I wasn’t complaining. 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

A few weeks passed and I was finally let out of the Tower alone again. Of course I had to be incognito, which for me typically entailed a hoodie so large, the hood was practically a cowl and my favorite huge sunglasses. 

Now that I was a well adjusted member of the team, I didn’t have to wake up early in the morning for one on one training. The only way you were getting me out of bed before nine was with a bona fide code red, which had yet to happen. 

My life slowly fell into a comfortable pattern. Wake up, take a shower, get dressed. Slump over my couch for an extra half hour before embarking outside of the Tower to get to my favorite hole-in-the-wall coffee joint. They served the darkest, most bitter cold brew on the planet but when they paired it with their secret recipe sweet cream, it was to die for and would keep me going for hours. 

I’d quickly become a regular. Maureen, the owner, quickly had my schedule down pat. Once in the morning and once in the evening and sometimes a midnight run through, depending on the day. She was always ready for me. After two weeks of this, I came in one morning and Maureen told me someone had already paid for my drink. 

Despite my loving threats, Maureen would not give up the name of the mysterious person who kept purchasing my coffee over and over again. Then again, I wasn’t sure if I’d hug that person or drag them back home for a deep interrogation. I was a tad paranoid and Maureen could see that. Maureen saw everything.

Which is why she let the curly haired boy escape to the back room whenever I came in to the coffee shop and promised to keep his identity a secret. But I didn’t know that. 

 

________________________a month later_________________________________

 

The longer I was around the team and actually interacted with them, the more comfortable I became. Which should be obvious but when did I ever do things the obvious way? 

It was September now and the gross stickiness of summer in the city was finally beginning to fade. I also became a lot happier as the temperature began to gradually decrease. About 35% of my rage could be explained away just due to the heat. The rest, well, the rest I had to talk out in therapy with Sam. 

Classes had started a week ago and I was already stressed to the max. I was taking all but one of my classes online. For that one class, I had to actually sojourn away from the Tower. But, any time during the day, I became sort of a needy cuddle fiend. I’m not sure why, but it just felt right to have someone to snuggle up to when I was reading James Joyce or an amicus Supreme Court briefing. 

A lot of times, my victims were the usual subjects: Peter, Bucky, Darcy, Tasha and Clint. Thor when he was planetside was always more than willing. When I had first pressed the issue with them, and when me seeking them out became a trend, I had to field a lot of questions and temporary protest. The only people who really took it without missing a beat were Nat and Peter. 

As I read over the majority decision in Roe for about the fiftieth time, Peter yawned loudly behind me, jostling my stack of papers that rested by his knee. I hummed a warning, because I would commit homicide if that thick stack of papers found its way onto the floor. Peter knew that and smartly kept his body away from my study materials at all costs.

“W-what time is it?” Peter managed to mumble into the pillow his head was half buried in. I checked my watch and let him know that it was half past two in the morning. 

When he didn’t respond, I twisted slightly and jabbed him with my pencil, rousing him just a bit. “Wow, you really are out of it aren’t you? You should get up and go to bed Pete,” the boy already worked himself to the bone looking out for the people of New York and the world, he didn’t need to sleep uncomfortably just to keep me company. Peter just groaned and said he was too tired to move. 

“Well then say goodnight Peter.”

“Good night Peter,” he parroted back at me like the child he was. I just rolled my eyes and went back to cursing Justice Kennedy under my breath. Which honestly, felt like the most me thing I could possibly do. 

 

\-------------------------------------Peter’s POV but in 3rd person???--------------------------------------

 

In the morning he woke up, the smell of mint and espresso beans filling his nose. It took him a second to realize that he desperately needed to sneeze. Peter tamped down the need to sneeze his brains out long enough to extricate himself from underneath Kaida, who had slumped back into the couch, head resting on the cushions above his abdomen. It didn’t look comfortable, but Peter wasn’t about to make the mistake of waking her too early again. He loped to the restroom to sneeze and pee. As he faced the mirror, he lifted the edge of his jumper to check on a gash that had still been healing yesterday after a particular knife fight got a little out of hand on patrol. 

As expected, the wound was completely healed, not even a pink, puckering scar was left behind. Absently, he ran his fingers along his words. His soulmate’s last words of the night. Normally Peter didn’t even read them. They weren’t exactly visible all the time and sometimes it felt like you were definitely invading their privacy, even if they were your soulmate. 

This morning, in bold letters was the phrase: ‘fuck Anthony Kennedy, the human equivalent of garbage soup’. Peter froze, letting his jumper fall back down. Wasn’t Kaida just reading about something Supreme Court? And he could have sworn she was the only person he’d ever heard use the phrase garbage soup. Peter swiftly exited the bathroom and tiptoed back to the common area. 

Kaida was still slumped backwards on the couch, but Bucky now sat on a loveseat, eating Fruit Loops dry. A sin, but something to be addressed at a later date. Peter was in luck; for once, Kaida’s sleeves were pushed up to her elbows.

She almost always wore sleeves to hide her words. Peter never asked why, or even confirmed that that was the reason she preferred sleeves, but he was smart enough to make a very educated guess. He stepped as close as he could without waking her and took in her forearm. 

Sure enough, there on Kaida’s porcelain forearm was ‘good night, Peter’ in his chicken scratch handwriting. 

“So who told you ‘good night’ last night?” Bucky asked, breaking the tense silence that permeated the air. 

“Those are the last words I said to her. I was making a joke…” Peter croaked out, not able to look away from the sleeping face of his soulmate. “She can’t know right? Like, there’s no way that she knows that we’re--that I’m-”

“No, Peter, I don’t think she knows. The question now is what you’re going to do about it.” 

Ultimately Peter did nothing overtly different. But, as days went by, he was getting better and picking up Kaida’s emotions and thoughts. He longed to reach out and touch her, but knew that that probably wasn’t the best course of action. 

Days later, in the lab while Kaida was away at the library to study with a group of her peers, Peter threw the wrench he had in his hands across the room so hard, it broke part of the wall. This made Tony look up and whistle. “Wow Pete, whatever’s eating at you has definitely got you good. What’s wrong?”

Peter considered his words carefully, thinking about the ways in which his father figure and soulmate knew each other. Definitely more intimately than most in-laws. Unless it was a soap opera, and then this would be par for the course. Kaida had been making him, Bucky and Steve watch Desperate Housewives together. And his life was definitely weird to begin with but this… was a whole other level. 

So, when he spoke, he told Tony that he had met his soulmate. 

Tony blanched. Peter’s eyes went wide. That was not the reaction he was expecting. No, if anything, Tony should have slapped Peter on the back and sent him on his merry way with a box full of condoms and an offer to move them into the Tower as soon as his soulmate was ready. 

If Tony reacted this way, almost guiltily, that means he had to have known. Tony knew and hadn’t told Peter. And now he was pissed. Or at least getting there. 

Tony threw his hands in the air and stepped back quickly as Peter stormed towards him. “I can explain,” he blurted.

“Okay then,” Peter bit out, teeth gnashing, “explain yourself Tony.” 

“I should have told you a long time ago, I know that kid… I just, you don’t know everything. It’s complicated.”

“It’s really not that complicated is it? She’s my soulmate and while we both didn’t know until now by accident, the fact that you knew and didn’t tell either of us is such a fucking betrayal Stark. Tell me what’s so god damned complicated about that?”

“I can’t tell you why I waited. She’s been through a lot Pete, but it’s not my story to tell. Just trust me. I only did it to protect her.”

“What about me Tony? What about protecting me or helping me? You’re the closest thing I have to a parent. You know that. You know what that means to me. But for you to pull this? Why does she come first to you now?”

Tony’s eyes dropped to the floor, flooding with guilt. 

Understanding surged over Peter. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

Tony crossed his arms and jerked his chin up, still avoiding Peter’s gaze. “You have to leave right now,” Tony intoned blankly.

Peter felt blood and heat rush through him. “I want an answer, goddammit!” Peter’s scream was like a banshee cry. 

“I don’t owe you an explanation Parker. If you won’t take my word for it, fine. Go get her, but don’t come crying to me when she leaves you out in the cold. She’s not ready for this.”

 

Peter stormed out of the lab and towards the elevator. Before the doors could slide shut, he heard Tony yell one last time. “Maybe ask her about her other soulmate before you go diving right in Peter.”

A rush of dread ran over Peter. Other soulmate. Only one fate could have existed for that person. That’s the only reason they wouldn’t be here now if Tony knew about them. He ran his hands through his hair roughly before covering his face with them. 

He was already doing so well at the whole ‘soulmate thing’.

 

_____________________back to Kaida______________________

 

I tried my very best to keep as few secrets from the team as possible. But when I’d accidentally let it slip that I lived at Stark Tower to my project partner, Josh, he had immediately connected me to that incident with the press back during the summer. So Josh knew who I was and that I was an Avenger. Despite that, he still insisted on driving me back to the Tower after our study session extended way past midnight, deviating from our plan. 

As we paused in front of the lobby doors, he whistled, glancing up. And then he looked back and grinned crookedly in my direction.

“What are you thinking?” I demanded. Josh only got that look when he was up to something. Usually it was outsmarting the sensors of the library so we could sneak a rare manuscript home to analyze with me. His little studio was super quaint. His roommate Nate, was definitely a sleaze though. 

“I’m wondering if…” Josh trailed off before taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulder, shoring up his confidence, “I’m wondering if Iron Man is going to come flying out of the Tower if he sees me do this.”

“Do wha--,” just then, Josh slants his lips over my slightly parted ones. I instinctively kiss back. His lips are warm and soft but I don’t feel anything really. Josh is kissing me and I’m thinking that it’s nice to kiss someone that I don’t really care for that way. I knew for sure that Josh wasn’t my soulmate.

We were interrupted by a harsh throat clearing that came from over Josh’s shoulder. We blinked our eyes open and Josh pulled away and spun around. 

“Sorry dude, I know you were hoping for Iron Man, but you’ve got me instead,” Peter grumbled from behind the Spider-Man mask. “It’s time for Kaida to get inside. We have a busy day tomorrow. Bye.” Without another word, Peter grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I didn’t fight him on it this time. I didn’t want to create a scene until we were out of the public eye. 

“What the fuck Parker?” I yelled as soon as we stepped off of the elevator and on to our floor. 

“Haven’t you learned that you can’t be doing that kind of shit Kaida? There’s always people watching this Tower. Poor Josh could have a target on his head now.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it Peter!” I scream back. Josh and I had already been snapped out and about together just after the semester started. Nothing had come of it. We were clearly just college friends. Plus, F.R.I.D.A.Y. was always monitoring Josh’s location and vitals, so we’d know if anything non-kosher went down. It was a plan I’d worked out with Tony weeks ago. 

“You can’t just go out and date and have fun like a normal person, Kai. You’re not normal. And that’s your own god damn fault for blowing your cover back during the summer. Something’s going to go terribly wrong. I can’t believe you would be so selfish, I mean god, Kaida…”

“Fuck you Parker, I’m going to have as much fun and date as many people as I want. I can do whatever I want. Just watch me.” With that, I stormed to my room and slammed the door closed behind me. 

Peter’s POV

“I’m not going to lie, Spider-Kid, that didn’t look good. Don’t worry though, i ain’t ever been good with words and I’ve still got my two punks hanging around just fine,” Peter whirled around and saw Bucky leaning against the wall, eating dry crackers right out of the sleeve and grinning at him. 

“Lie to me then, because I need to hear something, anything good after that fiasco,” Peter groaned. He knew Kaida couldn’t hear him, because he could already here her blasting music in her rooms to drown out her own thoughts, let alone other people’s voices. 

“I’ve missed this,” Bucky said with a giggle that was very much unlike the super assassin.

“What?” Peter asked, incredulously and a little dumbfounded.

“You’re in love with her.”

“Love is overrated.”

“Nah, it’s not. But come over here and I’ll let you in on all my secrets and you’ll be reeling in your girl in no time. Promise.”

“Why are you helping me?”

Bucky shrugged but a new smile lit up his face and he almost seemed to glow. “Being happy with the people you’re meant to be with… It’s indescribable. Plus, back in Brooklyn, I was a real heartbreaker. Wasn’t a dame that said no to all this.” Bucky was gesturing to himself with a cat like grin now.

“Whatever,” Peter groaned. He really did need help. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

More weeks flew by. It was like I blinked and suddenly September was October and now it was October 31st. I’d never been the biggest fan of Halloween, but it was my first time attending a real Stark party that wasn’t just a charity gala. Granted, we still had to be really dressed up, but it was in a more costume-y way. That I could get behind. 

Darcy and I did each other’s hair and makeup, as girlfriends do, even though Tony had offered the use of a professional. We had both turned him down flat. What was the point of Halloween if you were going to have everything done for you?

Darcy told Tony as much and he immediately threw his hands up on surrender and retreated from the room. Tony had decided to go with the classic Medieval Masquerade theme for his party tonight. So it was all red lips and smokey eyes for Darcy and I. 

My dress was a heavy creation. The top was heavily encrusted with golden jewels, accented by the occasional strategic color shift. The jewels stopped at my hips, and the skirt was made out of strips of red and nearly see through fabrics with intricate designs all the way through. The train was a large velvet creation that was also shot through with gold and the same intricate designs found elsewhere on the bodice. According to Darce, it made my boobs look great. 

I had never been more thankful for Nat’s grueling training regimen. That endurance that she had beat into me was going to be the only thing keeping me going in this dress all night. My mask was also primarily gold with red jewels and flowers adorning it.

Darcy was in head to toe black, which I knew was her go to. Her plunging black number was sure to wow her boys. I couldn’t wait to see their faces. Not many people knew that Steve, Bucky and Darcy were a triad but I did. They really kept it on the down low and I respected them for that. 

It almost made me long for my own other half. But I quickly shoved that though aside. 

As soon as Darcy and I hit the penthouse floor, we gasped. It had been completely transformed to look like an ancient palace bedecked in gold and marble and rich tapestries. The lights were low and candle light flickered in every direction. 

I immediately saw Tony, with his hair slicked back and the most outrageous outfit I’d ever seen, complete with an old pipe that he held gripped between his teeth. He swept over to me and bowed, throwing his coattails out behind him. 

I laughed so hard I sneezed. Tony looked offended but asked me to dance anyways. For several minutes we turned and spun around the dance floor, snickering at the people who’d barely come in costume at all (the spy twins) and those who had maybe missed the mark just a bit (the rest of the Science Squad). There were also several people here that I didn’t know that Tony pointed out to me. Suffice to say, I forgot all of their names as soon as he said them. 

But then, as Tony and I swayed, my eyes caught on a man wearing a deep, red velvet suit set, leaning up against the wall across the dance floor from me. Our eyes met and I felt inexplicably drawn to him. He was wearing a wolf mask that covered his entire face except for his eyes and his lips. His eyes seemed to cut right through me. 

I murmured to Tony that I was stepping away to grab a drink and he let me go without a fuss. Mr. Mysterious in the corner crooked his finger at me but I turned to walk towards the wall adjacent to him instead, where the bar was. I’d be damned if I let a stranger make a liar out of me. Again. 

As I waited on my drink at the bar, I felt a tingle run down my spine and I turned to see the man still staring at me. He winked and finger waved at him. Accepting my glass from the blonde behind the bar, I swept away, heading in the opposite direction of Wolf Man. I danced to a jaunty song with Thor, and the entire time I felt his eyes on my body. 

We kept up our game of eye tag as I circled my way through the party, dancing with all of my friends and drinking. After one particularly intricate dance that Bucky, Steve, Darcy and I did, I noticed that Wolfie had managed to snag himself a goblet of red wine that was only a few shades darker than his jacket. 

I saw his tongue flick out to catch a lingering drop of wine on his lips as he stared me down intently. 

Eventually I tired of the game. He’d had plenty of opportunity to come over. So I sat with Darcy to take a load off my feet. We sat for a good few minutes before she was whisked away by her boys and I stood, intending to find Tony and let him know I was heading back to my room for the evening. Which was a lie, I definitely intended to change and sneak out to a party my classmates were throwing. 

Suddenly, someone grasped my hand and spun me into their chest. It was Wolf-Mask.

He let out a chuckle and I realized it was Peter and I immediately felt so stupid. Of course it was Peter. He was the only one you hadn’t seen that night. 

“I’m a little offended,” Peter said, still laughing, “you asked everyone to dance except for me.”

“Yeah well, not everyone stood in a corner by themselves like a creepy serial killer you dork,” I responded him, lightly tapping him in the shin with my foot. He spun me around with a practiced ease I didn’t expect him to have. 

We didn’t talk, just danced. It felt nice. But my mind was on the place I had to be in less than an hour. 

As the song faded out, I stepped back from Peter. “Okay, gotta go!! Thanks for the dance Pete!”

“Wait,” Peter called all of a sudden. I paused and looked back. His hand was outstretched to me, but he dropped his arms down to his side, shoulders slumping. “Be safe,” he called back meekly.

“I always am Parker, I always am.”

I didn’t come home that night and several pairs of eyes caught my walk of shame the next day. 

A few weeks later

Josh and I started seeing each other in earnest right after Halloween. I had never brought him into the Tower but I’d spent plenty of nights at his house, usually just falling asleep there after a long night of studying or a movie marathon. Josh was easy. He brought me coffee from his favorite place on the morning we had class together (not nearly as good as Maureen’s, but I’d indulge him), he always had my favorite wine stocked, and there was no pressure to be more. We were moving slowly, no labels, barely any commitment. 

My absence around the Tower was noted often. I usually just shrugged when asked about it. I was well within my rights to make connections to people my own age that were normal. Even Tony backed me up and said I deserved some semblance of a normal life. 

Bucky seemed to be avoiding me though. I hadn’t seen Peter in months. And someone kept leaving my little gifts around the Tower. At first, when it was just flowers that got sent up to my room, I assumed it was Josh doing the cheesy thing he was wont to do, but soon it was little things that started showing up that I had never discussed with Josh. 

My favorite dark chocolate covered espresso beans showed up in my cabinet. My peppermint tea was always well stocked. New books were left on my coffee table. Inspirational kitten memes followed me around the Tower like a plague. No one fessed up, no matter how hard I pressed. 

Thanksgiving had come and gone without much fanfare. The team had eaten Chinese takeout together in front of the massive screen Tony had built for the common room. We watched Die Hard. 

I had a small Friendsgiving celebration that Josh and I hosted at his place with all of our school friends. It went off without a hitch. Until the next morning when our hangovers got the better of us. 

It was December first and snow was falling outside. I was waiting for Josh in the lobby of the Tower. We had a study and movie date that night. He was supposed to be here two minutes ago. With anyone else, I simply would have brushed that off. Sometimes people ran late. But not Josh. He’d maybe been late a total of once since we’d met. And even then, he’d texted me an hour in advance to let me know it might be a possibility. 

When it hit ten minutes past six, I started to panic, before I remembered that F.R.I.D.A.Y. could check Josh’s vitals and location for me. I was hesitant to use the last one. I wasn’t some creepy stalker after all. 

But, after F.R.I.D.A.Y. told me Josh appeared to be in perfect health, I had her tell me where he was. And he just so happened to still be in his loft. So I marched out to the street and hailed a cab, stewing in the backseat as I drove to confront him.

 

It was as bad as I expected. Worse even. Josh was in bed with someone when I kicked down the door. He hurriedly explained that it was his soulmate. That he’d just so happened to meet Chad outside of a mixer the night before and that he’d meant to tell me but then had gotten well… distracted. I felt hot tears slide down my face as I nodded and backed away, running down the street before jumping up on a roof and plopping down, pulling my scarf and peacoat tighter around me. 

I didn’t feel that strongly for Josh, honestly. There was no deeper pull, no real passion or fire. But it was comfortable and he was safe, which was all I wanted. I thought Josh couldn’t hurt me. But I’d come to rely on him for stability, for support. Always a mistake. Fuck soulmates. Nothing ever went well when they got involved in my life. 

Eventually I trudged back to the Tower, soaked with melting snow and shivering. I stripped out of all of my layers as soon as I got back to my room. Except for my bra. I left that on and threw on a mustard yellow t shirt dress and plopped down onto my couch with a bottle of tequila and started taking swigs. 

It didn’t take long for my hot anger and embarrassment to melt into fuzzy giggles and hiccups. The room warped around me and I lost myself in the bottle. 

Not too much time had passed when I heard a knock on my door. I stumbled to my feet and screwed the lid halfway back on the bottle. I staggered to the front door and looked out the redundant peephole. Redundant because F.R.I.D.A.Y. would have alerted me if it was someone who posed a threat at my door. 

All I saw was a blur, but I figured the more the merrier right? Everything was pretty blurry right now.

“Hey Kaida,” Peter said without ceremony as I flung the door open, “I think you left this on the elevator.”

It was my pale blue knit cap. I giggled and snatched it away from him. The giggle turned into full-blown, roaring stomach laughs as I took in the look on Peter’s face. Always so scandalized. What a sweet boy. 

“Are you drunk?” I shook my head no, but Peter pushed past me and took in the nearly empty bottle of tequila sitting on my coffee table.

“Jesus Kai, the least you could’ve done was invite me. After all it is technically my birthday. It’s only been my birthday for a few hours but… still. After all the flowers, you’d think a girl could wish a guy a happy birthday.”

My face screwed up in confusion and Peter saw that. I tried to step towards him but I swayed on my feet. Peter helped lower me to my knees as I keened out a drunken apology and spilled the beans about what had happened that day. I don’t remember much of what happened after that, but in the morning I woke up wrapped in Peter’s arms, on top of his cover. He’s just in his sweats and socks and I’m still in my dress sans bra. 

My head is throbbing and Peter’s warmth feels nice against my body, so I just snuggle my head back in under Peter’s chin and fall back asleep. 

“Happy birthday to me, I guess,” I hear Peter whisper as his arms tighten around me and he begins to rub circles on my back. 

“Happy birthday,” I murmur, and sleep washes over me again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaida's dress: https://tinyurl.com/KaidaDress  
> Kaida's mask: https://tinyurl.com/KaidaMask  
> Darcy's dress: https://tinyurl.com/ycaqq4t8  
> Peter's suit: https://tinyurl.com/PeterSuitttt  
> Peter's mask: https://tinyurl.com/PetersMasque  
> Tony's suit: https://goo.gl/images/S86nQ1


	20. If It's Meant to Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm very tired and posting this at 1 AM so good luck
> 
> So sorry for the brief hiatus. Promise more regular updates. The Good Stuff (TM) is quickly approaching. I can't wait to see what you all think

The snowstorm that hit was freakishly large. The winds were bitingly cold and I layered on almost three pairs of mittens and four layers of clothing on every other part of my body. I shivered and wished, once again, that I’d stayed in bed. I’d woken up, possibly still a little drunk, but the light filtering in from the kitchen kept me from going back to sleep, I usually required total darkness to sleep. It was a luxury I hadn’t been afforded at the Hydra compound and it soothed me. 

I flushed, remembering what I had done, how my body had acted on weird instinct. I woke up with my head tucked up underneath Peter’s chin, his arms wrapped around my middle. He was swelteringly hot but his body heat felt nice and he smelled like home. I had leaned forward and took a long sniff through my nose before scooching forward and lazily pressing my lips to his collarbone. Peter’s arms tightened around me and snuggled in even closer. 

It took a few seconds to process what that scene probably looked like to an outsider. So I had quickly pulled myself out of Peter’s embrace, but gently, so as not to wake him. He looked so dumb and young sleeping. It was sort of adorable, in a puppy kind of way. 

I hadn’t bothered to shower before leaving, Just threw my knit cap on and layered on the deodorant. After all, I didn’t intend to be gone long. But a trip to the grocery store was absolutely necessary, hence me braving the weather outside. 

My head wasn’t pounding from the tequila anymore, but the headache of grocery shopping in this storm was steadily increasing. In fact, it was so hectic that I just bought a few boxes of cake mix instead of grabbing all the ingredients to make Peter’s cake from scratch. 

I arrived back at the Tower to an empty room and I couldn’t quite understand the disappointment that ran through me. I shoved it deep down and immediately got to work baking. The cake would have to cool for a hot minute before I could actually decorate it as intricately as I wanted. 

Unbeknownst to me, a few doors down, Tony was also attempting to bake a cake. 

I had just set my cake out on the counter to cool when the fire alarm started screeching. 

Tony should never be allowed near an oven unattended. 

The snow abated not long after I finally put the finishing touches on the cake I’d made for Peter. It was huge. When you had to accommodate a large assortment of superheroes and recent college kids, you better be prepared with seconds or even third helpings. 

After toasts to Peter’s health, some rather embarrassing stories about Peter when he was younger (thanks Ned and MJ), and some odd tradition that Thor insisted on that largely consisted of wrestling, Peter and his friends began pulling on their gear to brave the elements to go out to this little hole in the wall bar they used to meet up in when they first turned 21. I, of course, had been invited but had declined weeks ago, assuming I’d be either in studying with Josh or just with Josh and our friend group that night. Finals were right around the corner after all. I longed to call out to Peter and ask if he minded me tagging along, but after putting him out that morning, I kept my mouth clamped shut. 

The five of them shuffled on to the elevator, laughing and shoving one another. My heart ached. I was just beginning to make friends my own age like that. Some of them, like Ned and Peter had known each other for over a decade. It was something I’d never really understand. Just as I was about to turn around to start cleaning the kitchen, Peter’s eyes snapped up and met mine as the elevator door closed with a ding. 

Such a weird boy. And what a goddamn weird 24 hours it had been.

I quickly ran around the kitchen, tossing things into the recycling bin as often as possible and wiping down every surface like a madwoman. With my Pietro speed in full effect, it took less than two minutes to truly wipe down every surface and confirm that no chocolate cake crumbs remained. 

I was already restless at the thought of being in the Tower all night alone. While I wouldn’t be technically alone, I knew Tony was already on a flight to Tokyo for some tech convention, Pietro, Wanda and Bucky were running a covert ops mission in Buenos Aires they shipped out the next day for, and everyone else more or less had other plans. Which left me the odd man out. 

So I bundled up and headed towards the elevator doors. I had no sooner opened my mouth to request F.R.I.D.A.Y. send up the elevator than the doors slid open to reveal Peter. 

“Oh good,” he breathed out, grabbing my forearm and hauling backward into the elevator with him.

“Peter what in the world are you doing here?” He had pulled me in so unexpectedly that I hadn’t had the time to do my last minute pocket check. My phone was still on the counter in the kitchen. 

“I came back to get you. I know I wouldn’t want to be alone, plus you’re one of my closest friends. Is it weird to say I want you there with me on my birthday?” He makes a face when I shrug noncommittally and bemoan the absence of my cell phone. He ignores me, but the smug grin on his face only grows deeper, a long forgotten dimple threatening to make an appearance. I roll my eyes so hard, it’s honestly surprising they just don’t fall out of my head. 

We jog for a few blocks to catch up with the others. MJ and Gwen look at me inquisitively and Ned gives me the strangest blank look I’ve ever seen. I feel like there was some kind of conversation or joke I wasn’t privy to. Anxiety pulsed through me, setting my teeth on edge. I really didn’t belong here. So I began formulating my exit strategy, continually cursing myself for not insisting we go back up for my phone. Or my purse with my cash in it. Either would be extremely useful at this point. 

I felt Peter’s hand on my shoulder move to rubbing calming circles in the middle of my back. Some of the tension released in my shoulders as he did so. But then a weird thought hit me and I immediately tensed back up and I threw my head towards Peter, looking up at him. 

“Did I do something wrong? I didn’t accidentally grab your butt right? I’m pretty sure it was just your back. Oh my god I did, didn’t I? I’m such an idiot,” Peter babbled, as was becoming his trademark. I couldn’t help but crack a smile at that. So many things felt out of place right now, but Peter’s inane rambling was as right as rain. Normal. Comfortable. 

“No, I was just going to yell at you for disappearing on me for like a month. You and Bucky both, it’s almost like you were avoiding me or something,” I accuse, which makes Peter roll his eyes, but his cheeks flush red. Suddenly, I get the most evil idea. I can see his friends not so casually hanging back, listening in to catch our conversation. Something was definitely up, but I couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

“Peter!” I gasp and widen my eyes, “Are you hooking up with Bucky? Because, I mean congrats, that’s a big catch, one fine piece of man but how does that work with Steve and Darcy like, I know that they’re open but I didn’t know they were THAT open. Oh my god, you have to tell me what it’s like to sleep with someone who’s over a century old. Also, don’t think I’ve forgotten the looks and the things you said when it was me and Tony, that age gap isn’t even comparable anymore. I don’t care that he was intermittently a popsicle for most of that time.”

“Kaida! No, god shut up. Bucky and I, are not, in any uncertain terms, hooking up. Never. Ever. God, how… why?? Why are you this way? I just--Bucky? Really???”

His outburst and sputtering is almost comical. I choke back my laughter. Or at the very least I try, mostly unsuccessfully. Peter’s eyes go big before narrowing again. He just shakes his head incredulously and releases the most fed up sigh I’d ever heard. That makes me lose control and laugh my ass off. Out of the corner of my eye I can see his friends fighting not to double over. 

Ice: successfully broken. 

“But seriously Parker, the next time you feel like avoiding me, just like, give me a heads up. I missed our morning runs. And you know how much I hate running. I won’t do it on my own,” I finish, referencing our morning meet ups that usually resulted in racing around the Tower or even through the streets, if it was early enough and the paparazzi were sleeping the morning away. 

He blushed and ducked his head, chagrined and acquiesced to my every demand. 

“I’d totally be down to go down on the Winter Soldier, so I don’t blame you there Pete,” Gwen quipped with a twinkle in here eye. MJ looked exhausted, like she’d heard that a million times before. 

“I think his significant others have that taken care of Gwen, four really would be a crowd you know,” Ned deadpanned, eyes dead, like he too was tired of hearing our blonde friend pine after Bucky. 

“Ned,” Peter and I both hissed, knowing that Cap’s relationship status wasn’t exactly public knowledge, and that that was intentional. Gwen gaped like a fish out of water and MJ had a glint in her eye that I didn’t like at all. Thankfully, that was the moment we arrived at the doors of the dive bar and all questions had to be put away for now. 

The music blared and my vision blurred as we downed shot after shot. Ned, MJ and I posted up at the bar while Peter and Gwen made their way to the dance floor to flail around like idiots. At least Gwen looked graceful, weaving around Peter. He, on the other hand, nearly tripped over himself once every thirty seconds. Despite this, people gravitated toward him and Gwen, drawn in by their good looks and infectious grins. 

Peter and Gwen looked like two sides of the same coin, a perfect match. It wasn’t the first time I’d noted that, but it was the first time I felt an odd twinge in my chest, thinking about what that meant. 

Dating within the friend group was never a good idea. I didn’t know that from experience but every show based around the lives of high school kids seemed to contain that message in some form. That had to be it, had to be the source of the twinge. I just didn’t want anything to mess up this friend group that I was so newly invited into. 

“I’m glad you came Kaida,” MJ practically yelled in my ear to be heard over the loud pounding house music. “If you hadn’t, he’d just be pouting and we’d have left by now.”

I looked at her sharply, wondering how much she’d had to drink. “What do you mean?”

She rolled her eyes again, “you’re both so freaking stupid you know that. Peter really likes you Kaida. You’re pretty much all he talks about anymore. It’s getting annoying. You either need to kiss him or tell him you’re not interested.”

“Woah, you’ve got your wires way crossed MJ. There’s no way Peter and I could ever really be anything. We work together for one, and besides,” I gestured helplessly at the two friends in the middle of the dance floor that were currently immersed in a shimmy-off, “Peter and Gwen seem to be getting closer. If I wasn’t here, they’d still be out there doing that so I don’t think I have anything to do with that.”

Without a second thought, I hopped off my bar stool and set two twenties on the bar behind me before I made my way back to the door, once again running away from uncomfortable situations. 

I was seconds away from giving in and closing my eyes, tucked under a blanket on the couch and falling asleep, when someone started pounding on my door. Again. Couldn’t a girl get any privacy around here. 

“Kaida, please open the door I have to talk to you,” came Peter’s voice from my door. He sounded tense but his tone brooked no argument. There would be no postponing this conversation until the morning. But what had him in such a tizzy at 1 AM, I really couldn’t even guess. I pulled myself up and off the couch and stalked to my door which I flung open harshly. 

“What are you doing Peter?” I asked, my heart pounding rapidly in my chest as I took in the fire that filled his eyes.. Maybe I really had had one too many at the bar. His eyes left my face long enough to flicker down to where my hand rested over my heart. He had to be able to hear it. He didn’t comment though. Peter didn’t say anything at all. 

He stepped back into my room and out of my doorway, softly closing the door behind him, moving towards me swiftly. Intent and determination burning in his gaze, he reached up and put his hands on either side of my face, cupping my cheeks and stepping into my space. 

My brain short-circuited. I rarely saw Peter this sure of himself. And he was sure that he was going to kiss me. 

Oh my god. Peter Parker is going to kiss me. And I wanted him to.

Oh my god. I wanted Peter Parker to kiss me. 

I leaned in, breathing heavily, unable to speak. Just completing a thought was getting too difficult. His nose brushed mine, eyelashes fluttering as his brown eyes stared back into mine. I’d never really noticed the little gold flecks in his irises before but I certainly did now. 

My eyes fluttered shut as his lips brushed against mine, tentatively at first, before he grew more sure of himself. I pushed up on to my toes and kissed him back, my fingers carding through the hair on the back of his neck, my mouth opening to his. He shuddered and gasped, hands dropping to my waist, pulling my tight against him, but holding me so gently, almost like I was breakable. I could see myself doing this for the rest of my life, I thought. 

That was enough to completely ruin the moment, and I quickly broke the kiss and retreated to the other side of the room. Peter groaned and ran his hands through his hair. 

“Kaida I’m sorry I just.... I know I’m not the only one who feels this. Stop running Kaida. Stop. Be here and live Kaida. I know I’m not the only one. Tell me to go and I will, but ask me to stay and I’ll never leave you again.”

“But what about your soulmate?” I protest, “don’t you want to wait for them? I’m sure they’re looking for you Pete. They’re probably some wonderful valedictorian from somewhere clean and posh and has nice parents that are going to love their new son-in-law. All the domesticity and big family life you deserve.”

Peter shook his head angrily. “I already know who my soulmate is Kaida. Don’t pretend to know what’s best for me. I don’t care about any of that. I want you. Do you want me?” There were a lot of things that broke me when it came to boys, but the way Peter’s voice would crack and then immediately deepen when he felt vulnerable was at the top of the list.

I didn’t respond. I just turned on my heel and went to perch on the edge of my bed. Of course it didn’t take Peter more than a few minutes to follow. So predictable that boy.

“Here’s how this is going to happen Parker,” I began, patting the space next to me. He hesitantly walked over and hovered over the edge of the bed before taking a seat, a good foot of distance between us. “You’re going to give me that sweatshirt you’re wearing and I’m going to go change into it, in the bathroom. And no, you do not get it back. I’ve stolen everyone’s hoodie except for yours. It’s time Peter. And then we’re going to go to bed. No kissing, definitely no under the sheets mumbo jumbo. Just sleep because I’m drunk and you’re exhausted since you can’t even get drunk. But…”

“But it feels less lonely when we’re together. I know, I like it too,” Peter finished for me, expressing that feeling I’d never been able to put into words when I was around him. 

Like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I know that it's loosely canon that Peter has a summer birthday but I couldn't resist making him a Sagittarius, it just fits. And Kaida is a Leo, my babies are twin fire signs. ;)
> 
> GETTING OUT SHIELD ON NEXT CHAPTER. Also, Clint is going to act like a total dad. I'm hype


	21. In Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so damn long y'all, but with school starting back up and moving into a new townhouse and so many other things, I've been dying. But this chapter actually is part one of two really. I decided to split it up so I could have something manageable to edit and post tonight before I pass out. There is /some/ smut, but nothing huge. Big emotional things to come, the Clint conversation has obviously been postponed. Anyways, enjoy!

I left Peter perching on my bed and made my way to the bathroom. Once there, I splashed water on my face and brushed my hair, swishing some mouthwash around for good measure. I slid all my clothes off except for my underwear and threw Peter’s battered MIT sweatshirt over my head. 

I sucked in deep breaths through my nose as my heart galloped in my chest, thunderously loud as I thought about the boy waiting on the other side of the door. The one who had thrown me for a loop too many times to count, fundamentally changed my life and continued to surprise me. 

I’d be lying if I said I had never thought about Peter in that way before. The boy had abs AND dimples and that stupidly wavy brown hair, can you blame me?

But Peter and I were complete opposites, it seemed very clear to me that we were on different paths, so I had never really considered it. But as soon as our lips touched tonight, I was a goner. It was sweet and fiery and soft and passionate all at the same time. I craved more. More kissing, more touching, more Peter. But we had stopped. I had stopped and I was still struggling to convince myself I was right. 

Shaking my head rigorously, I shot myself one last glance in the mirror and stepped back into my quiet bedroom. Peter turned his head to look at me as the door creaked open. While I had been in the bathroom, Peter had stripped down to just his boxers and gone to stand in front of the windows. The moonlight filtered through my gossamer curtains making him look like a goddamn fallen angel. 

The intensity of his gaze rooted me in place, like a deer caught in headlights. Peter seemed frozen himself for several minutes until suddenly he was in front of me in the blink of an eye. His hands tangled into the hair at the base of my neck and the other clutched at my lower back, pulling me flush to his chest. His pupils were dilated, eyes black as a Midwestern night. Before I could even breathe to speak, to protest his lips were on mine and a fog clouded my brain. Why would I ever want this to stop when it felt like flying, like everything wrong in the world had suddenly ceased to matter. 

Heat flooded my core as I clutched at Peter's shoulders. His hand dropped away from my hair and joined his other hand that was bowing my body into his. I caught his bottom lip in between my teeth and nipped at him. Peter growled and ran his hands down over my ass until they had a good grip on both of my thighs. He lifted me up with ease and I wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my arms around his neck. My hips ground into his as Peter pressed me into the wall and suckled kisses down the column of my neck. My head fell back against the wall as he bit down on my pulse point. 

“Peter, please…” I whined, needing to feel more of him, to get closer somehow. I was spiraling, flashing hot as desire pulsed through me. Peter walked us to the bed and instead of setting me on the bed slowly, gently as I expected of Peter and his inherent kindness, he threw me down and scrambled down after me, forcing my knees open and kissing me hard. I straddled his thigh and rubbed myself against it, seeking any kind of friction I could find, chasing my own release.

But as Peter curled his finger around the sides of my underwear it was like I was suddenly doused with a bucket of cold water. “Wait,” I panted, pulling my mouth away from his and pushing myself u7p onto my elbows, “Peter we have to stop.”

“Why Kaida, why do we need to stop,” Peter asked in a tone that was part growl and part whine. His gaze pierced me as he peered at me from behind the sweat-slick curls that clung to his forehead. 

“We need to,” I gasped for another breath and a moment of clarity, “we need to talk about this, actually talk. I don’t want to go too fast and ruin what we already have Pete. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“Do you trust me? Because Kaida, I know what I want and that’s not going to change after tonight. Do you believe me?”

The way he said it with such conviction, I couldn’t help but nod and agree again when he asked me if I was sure. 

“Then let me take care of you tonight, and then we can talk.” When I still didn’t answer and hesitated, Peter added, “I’ve been dying to taste you for months now Kai, let me make you feel good. Please.”

I finally nodded, unable to speak and Peter moved my hips to the edge of the bed and knelt between my knees, warm breath caressing the insides of my thighs. 

Slowly, so painfully slowly he peeled my panties down my legs, following the garment with wet kisses and playful nips. Huffing and puffing, I slammed my open hand down on the bed, my body tingling as though I were on fire. “Peter I swear to god if you don’t touch me, I’m going to kick your ass so hard you won’t be able to walk for days, you absolute-” I screamed as Peter suddenly licked a stripe up my slit and slid a long finger deep in me. 

“You were saying?” Peter remarked snidely, before diving right back in, tongue thrusting in and out of me after he had removed the finger, occasionally stopping to nibble on my clit. Finally, Peter slid two fingers into my pussy. He groaned as I clenched around him, muscles rippling at the sudden intrusion. 

It only took a few seconds for Peter to send me screaming over the edge. His fingers pumped a few more times before he slit them out, kissing my hip before bringing his fingers to his mouth and sucking them clean. I groaned at the sight but I’d gone totally boneless and couldn’t move to act on any of my desires.

“Be back in a few, I’ve got a freezing cold shower to take.” As he stood, he rolled me on to my side and pulled a blanket tight around me, dropping a kiss on my forehead. Moments later, my eyes slid shut and I knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look for the next chapter later today! Leave me a comment or visit me at fabtasticass.tumblr.com <3


	22. Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back?

Hi all, how can I even start to apologize for the hiatus? I can't. Y'all have continued to shower me with support online, and I'm happy to report that (after my birthday weekend) the next chapter of Mistaken will be posted! So keep an eye on this spot on February 4th. 

More in the way of news! I'm writing a new fanfic, It's a Tom Holland, Kissing Booth AU, and I'm really really excited about it. It's just something that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. Expect the first chapter of that to be up tomorrow, it's going to be called Breathe In, Break it Down. Happy reading, and I love you all so so much! See you on Monday!

-Cassidy


	23. Fuck It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished it, so you get it now. Love!

Sunlight spilled into the room, heating the cold winter chill that I hardly even felt at the moment. It was hard to feel cold when you had a human space heater all up in your personal space. 

Peter’s head rested on my shoulder, his arms wrapped around my waist, his deep breaths rocking me gently. I shifted to sit up, causing him to groan. 

“-jsh five more minutes May, please.” he grumbled into the pillow. 

“Pete, if you call all the girls your aunt, it’s no wonder you’re single.”

His head popped up, eyes widening as he took in his surroundings and then squinting in offense as he registered my words. I barely managed to dodge the pillow he chucked at me as I scooted out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, pulling my curls back into a high pony. 

I readjusted my new hoodie and sleep shorts as I bent over the kitchen counter to reach a spatula that was hanging about the island and just slightly out of reach unless I stood on the very tip of my toes. But of course, the floor was still wet from spilled drinks the night before so I shouldn’t have been surprised when my legs flew out from underneath me. 

With a bang that I could have sworn, I heard more than I felt, my elbow caught the counter seconds before my hip and then head slammed into the floor. In my particularly ungraceful fall, I jostled my dish rack that contained drying wine glasses from a few evenings before, when Josh had been over. One of the last nights of that whole situation but that’s neither here nor there. 

My grunt upon impact and the tinkle of shattering glass was loud enough to wake every single enhanced individual within a ten-floor radius. 

Peter skidded into the room. “Kai, are you okay?” His voice broke off with a squeak as he too slipped and skidded across the room, only this time it was because he was moving far too quickly for his sock feet to keep up.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. pinged and flipped on all the lights in the room. “Ms. Stone, Agent Romanoff would like to know your status and if you’re in any immediate danger, or if she can resume napping,” the AIs voice filtered through the speaker, and I could almost swear I detected a hint of deadpan in that delivery. Tony really couldn’t help himself, even in the wake of Ultron and Vision. 

There was no time for either Peter or I to respond before there was a furious knocking on the door, muffled curses slipping past the door. 

Peter was the first to his feet, which was for the best, my brain still felt like it was on a merry-go-round. He had barely turned the handle when two super soldier sized blurs burst into the room. Steve immediately moved to crouch beside me while Bucky hung back, assessing and searching. His ice blue eyes roved the apartment for any signs of foreign intruders. When it became clear that no threats were present, he took one look at Peter’s lack of a shirt and my own attire and smirked knowingly, cuffing Peter over the head before moving to fetch a broom from my hall closet.

Peter flushed and rubbed at the back of his neck, shrugging innocently as I stared him down. Steve had been gently checking me over and was satisfied as soon as he determined I wasn’t going to bleed out and that I was being “responsible for once and using my powers to help”. His words, obviously, not mine. 

Bucky entered the kitchen again with a roll of his eyes. “Back on this whole spiel again Rogers?” Steve just grunted and took the broom from his boyfriend before getting to work, cleaning up the mess I’d made. 

About a week prior, Steve had caught me wrapping my ankle after a particularly rigorous training session with Natasha and Wanda working in conjunction to push me to my limits. “Why don’t you just assimilate Bucky or I’s super healing. The serum would take care of that for you in under 15 minutes.”

When I didn’t answer, Steve had stopped prepping for his work out, one hand half wrapped to take on a punching bag or ten.

He then cornered me until I fessed up that pain and injuries grounded me and besides, I liked alcohol too much to give that coping mechanism up without a fight. 

What ensued was a long painful discussion about how it wasn’t just about me anymore. That I needed to be in top condition for the team at all times. That the team would be worried. That he worried. He made it very clear that Sam still hadn’t let me off the hook with the rest of the team and they were all watching my mental state really closely, and that this lent him no confidence. 

I had stormed away, the only thing I truly excelled at. Or at least, the one thing I did better than anyone else on the team. Except for maybe Loki. He was an utter diva. I respected that. 

Now the tables were turned and Peter was giving me a hard, assessing look as the skin on my forehead knit itself back together and the bruising that had already started slowly seeped away, fading back into my skin.

I twitched and flinched every time Steve and Bucky, who was also now on his knees next to Steve with a first aid kit, used their tweezers to remove tiny shards of glass as fast as possible, just in case my skin tried to heal over it. 

“C’mon Pete, don’t look so concerned, this is basically like that time Stevie here had to stitch up your forehead. You were fine in a few hours!”

I whipped my head around to stare at the assassin. “This is a story I have to hear. Now.” Bucky met my eyes and grinned, snickering as he saw Peter flush red to the tips of his ears and look away.

“Little punk over there was havin’ a good day, hangin’ round the Commons, those damn earbuds in, stompin’ around to some weird, new-fangled music-”

“Oh come on Bucky, it was Queen, Queen is not new, I know I told you better than that a long time ago,” Peter protested, more concerned with Bucky’s characterization of one of his favorite bands than with his own impending embarrassment.

“Anyways,” Bucky continued with a huff, smile deepening ever so slightly, “he wasn’t exactly payin’ attention, air guitar, feet stompin’, the whole nine. So he tripped over a rug and hit his face on a Stark coffee table. Obviously, the kid broke and the table ain’t got a scratch on it, but it did have a fair amount of Spider blood. You should have seen his face, doll. Wish I could go back and recapture that moment on film.”

I cackled gleefully as Peter attempted to inch his way out of the room. Unfortunately, I caught him before he could get more than two steps closer to the door. “Buggy,” I began with my pet name for him, “which song were you listening to?”

Peter squeezed his eyes shut and sighed before admitting that he’d been listening to We Will Rock You during the incident in question. “So, to clarify, you had to get stitches because you were stomping to Queen and face planted into a table. That’s the dorkiest shit I’ve ever heard Parker, I’m so sad I didn’t get to see it.”

It was at that moment that Tony stepped through the door in black jeans and a grease-stained t-shirt to remind us that F.R.I.D.A.Y. was constantly surveilling the common areas and that for the right price, he may be able to dig something up. 

A few minutes after that, Vision swept in, or floated really, and asked what had us all laughing so hard we were near tears. It was then that Tony had to explain schadenfreude to his humanoid creation. When it became clear that that may be a lost cause on the Vision front, for the time being, Steve brought down the hammer and told us all to report to the training floor in an hour. Tony swept Peter away with him, citing important science things that had to be addressed immediately. 

A few hours later, all of us sat huddled in front of the television in the commons as Tony called to order a press conference. One that he had neglected to tell any of us about. 

It wasn’t the first time, but if I had anything to say about it, it would be the last. 

We all watched with bated breath as Tony stood behind the podium, sunglasses and all, his patented Stark smirk on full display. If you placed the picture of him from his fateful Iron Man conference, it would seem not a day had passed if you looked past the gray hair. Same haunted look. Same Stark bravado. 

“I’ve gathered you all here to make an announcement. I’ve already stepped away from the Avengers Initiative in a leadership capacity, but the successors in that chain of command have always been clear. It’s time I start preparing to retire once more.” A hush had fallen over the gaggle of reporters and, in my mind, the entire world. 

Tony sucked in a deep breath and squared his shoulders and seemed to take a moment to fortify himself before he began speaking again. “I have no children. No biological children that is. We all know that. However, there is a young man who I’ve come to care for as a son, and as such, it’s only fitting that he be the one to inherit the majority of my company. But rather than leave it until I finally bite the dust, as of this moment I am naming Peter Parker as my future CEO. Effective immediately, he will assume the title of President of Stark Industries, while I will retain the title of CEO and allow him to learn under me. I’m in no rush to retire so this won’t be a fast-paced, top-down change. Peter Parker, as you may know, graduated from MIT three times in three years with a BS in Computer Science and Mechanical Engineering, and MA in Business and a Ph.D. in Quantum Physics. He is currently working on a thesis that, within a year’s time should land him a Doctor of Environmental Sciences as well. He’s served as Stark Industries’ Vice President of Research and Development for the past three years and was recently promoted to President. He will be vacating that position, which will be assumed by Darcy Lewis and Jane Foster, credentials and bios can be found in the press release you’ll be handed on your way out the door.” 

Tony paused to take a breath as the room erupted into a cacophony of questioning journalists. They all quickly stopped babbling as Tony held up his hand and began to speak again, looking at the crowd over the rim of his sunglasses. “When the time comes, someone else who I will name at a later date will be filling the vacancy Mr. Parker will leave as he transitions from President to CEO. Peter will handle the big picture and this other individual is going to take on the day-to-day operations of the company. Anyways, you’re all getting the news about Parker now because my board has crawled up my ass about a succession plan for SI,” Tony blurted and motioned for someone--Peter--to join him at the podium. “This is your succession plan. That’s it for today. No more questions!”

Just as soon as Tony and Peter shook hands and embraced for the cameras, they turned back and beat a hasty retreat. 

The room was deathly silent and all eyes turned to watch me as I stood from my spot on the couch, shrugging my leather jacket on and moved to the balcony. On my way, I swiped up my pea coat and handknit, chunky scarf. My heart thundered in my ears and my thoughts slowed and stopped, like a bug caught in amber. 

Without a second (rational) thought, I leaped up and over the railing and flew down the street as fast as I could. Moments later, I touched down in an alleyway, dimly lit by the only storefront that was still open this late. 

I pushed the door open, careful to tap all the snow out of my boots before I stepped inside and was greeted by the smell of coffee and fresh pastries.


	24. Everything's Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So I'm actually sticking to my guns with Camp NaNoWriMo, so, I should be around more often. I would make promises but uh, we know how that's turned out. The chapter isn't super long, but uh pay attention for sure!

“You know, running away never solved any problems,” Maureen said from behind the counter, voice as gravelly as a back road I could barely remember. 

“You know what Maureen,” I sniped right back before forcefully plopping down in a metal stool the squealed as it slid on the ground. “You’re absolutely fuckin’ right, but I’m all sold out of better ideas, so unless you’ve got one, I need my regular with a triple shot unless you’ve got any tequila laying around.”

 

Back at the tower, everyone milled around, waiting for either of the two men in front of them to speak. Peter anxiously ran his hands through his hair. It hadn’t been his idea to withhold the upcoming news from the team but he also hadn’t resisted the idea when Tony presented it to him.

And now, being stared down by some of the most famous assassins in world history, he’s overwhelmed with the urge to curl up into a ball and hide, a way he hasn’t felt since high school. The tension grew and grew as the seconds passed. Chairs shuffled and people sighed and huffed impatiently, waiting for either Tony or himself to speak. 

Tony himself was seated in a high-backed leather chair, feet sprawled out with a hand on his face, seemingly oblivious to the highly critical gazes of their colleagues. 

Peter covertly up from the floor and around the room, taking inventory of everyone who was there. The only two missing were Kaida and Pietro, though he could have sworn he saw Pietro speed off as they entered the main team floor after the press conference concluded. Kaida, however, had been AWOL for who knows how long. 

Peter wished he could be wherever she was, for more reasons than one. 

 

 

I could have sworn I was physically vibrating. Unfortunately, the espresso loaded coffee wasn’t the sole culprit for why I felt like my world just got blown out of orbit again. I pushed back from my seat at Maureen’s counter top and made my way to the register. As per usual, Maureen refused to accept any form of payment. But this time I waited for her to wait on someone else and shoved all the cash I had on me at the moment in the tip jar and high-tailed it out of the café faster than she could protest but still slow enough to appear totally human.

I needed to clear my head, somehow. Needed a change of pace or just to see some new faces. So, I hopped on the 5 train towards Brooklyn. 

 

Meanwhile, Pietro arrived at Maureen’s, searching the area for Kaida. The hair prickled on the back of his neck as someone vaguely familiar pushed past him, but he couldn’t place the face of the man that was half shadowed by a deep cowl that wasn’t terribly out of place in the New York winter. He shook the feeling off as he spotted Kaida sitting in a corner booth.  
“FRIDAY told me I might find you here,” he said, by way of announcing himself as he slid into her booth. Kaida rested the menu down on the table, appearing startled by his sudden appearance. Her blue eyes clouded with confusion for a solid five seconds before recognition seemed to wash over her. She cleared her throat and spoke roughly, “why did you come looking for me?”

“Are you kidding me?” Pietro scoffed, “With the way that you stormed out of the tower after that announcement, I’m surprised you haven’t leveled a building with those abilities of yours. Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t see this coming.”

Kaida’s responding smile seemed shallow and off, mouth twitching in a way he’d never seen or maybe he’d just never noticed before. In fact, everything about her seemed a little off today. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Kaida prompted, interrupting his reverie. 

“Oh nothing… nothing,” he trailed off, shaking his head. It must just be the lighting or the weather shook up her look. He was being ridiculous and paranoid. “So are you going to be back at the Tower tonight? I have a feeling Stark is going to throw another one of his famous celebration/apology combo parties and there’ll be all the top shelf liquor we can drink.”

Kaida seemed to process this for a moment before lifting her shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. “Who knows, at this point I just need to decompress and sort things out in my head. I appreciate you coming to find me though.” This time when she smiled it felt warmer and more like Kaida, tension releasing from her shoulders. 

“I understand completely. Just know that my door is always open. I know how you typically rely on Stark and Peter, but with the current situation… I just thought you might want the option.” He preened as she smiled widely at him and nodded, fluttering her lashes and taking a big sip of her… tea?

As he got up to leave her booth and return home for the dinner he promised his sister, Kaida called out to him. “Do you want to grab drinks at Rudy’s tomorrow? Just us? I kind of need a beat from the whole team dynamic” she asked, referencing a dive bar amid Hell’s Kitchen, where the regulars didn’t care who they were when they showed up. It was a favorite of theirs. 

“Nine o’clock sharp, just between us” he responded before literally zooming out the door. Pietro always felt like he was walking on air but now… now was different. Better, somehow. 

 

At the same time, across the city, I was breathing deeply after ascending three flights of stairs out of the subway tunnels.

It really wasn’t my fault that there just so happened to be an animal shelter right outside of the subway exit I decided to take, having mulled everything over, and just needing some fresh air before heading home. Home, how strange that a skyscraper was my home now. 

I felt like just yesterday I had been living in a shoebox in Queens with my asshole of an ex, serving shitty mixed drinks to creepy old men and… well, that really was the entire demographic of her old bar. Now my heavy black credit card was burning a hole in my pocket and I was itching to do something spontaneous. Maybe even reckless.

The doors swung open and the situation inside was sad. Dirty walls and flickering lights served as the back drop for the constant whimpering and scraping of claws along the concrete floor. There was no one stationed at the front desk, so I walked past, into the kennel area. The cacophony rose to a new height as the first dog spotted me. 

I ran my fingers along the front of the cages as I walked past, not really digesting what I was seeing, until a loud huff and sneeze got me out of my head. Inside the kennel was a smaller dog, valiantly attempting to wrap itself around its larger kennel-mate. The bigger, fuzzier dog snuffled and whimpered, but he whipped his head around as I sat in front of their cage.

Big, moon-like eyes seemed to pierce right through me, so I lifted my hand in a ‘come-here’ gesture. The dog, strangely, didn’t follow my hand. That’s when the cloudiness and the lack of follow in the eyes clicked. The larger dog was blind. 

My heart wept for the pair of them, knowing how difficult it was to get special need dogs into forever homes, let alone a pair of dogs from the inner city. 

“Hello?” I called out, mind made up almost instantly. I heard the distant shuffling of another person, before a young woman’s head popped around the corner.

“May I help you?” she asked, her red hair glinting even in the dim light.

“Yeah, I’m taking these two, what do I have to sign?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls give me validation with comments, hit me with theories, hopes and dreams and such.


	25. Sometimes Dead is Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes I did use the tagline from the upcoming Pet Sematary movie to name this chapter but you know what... it's fitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised (for once) I'm back again with a quick update. Pls enjoy, I will also be coming back to edit all of these chapters for typos starting in may so if you catch any please let me know!

“Excuse me, what in the world are you doing in there? It sounds like a god damn stampede.”

I opened my door to an exasperated Bucky Barnes, also known as my floor neighbor. He, Steve and Darcy lived in the room directly below mine, and as such, were privy to all of the nights that I had impromptu dance and scream parties. Occasionally Darcy decided to join. Usually though, I received several notifications from FRIDAY that my friends were requesting I keep it down or at least take it elsewhere. 

“Um, well, you know how Steve has a habit of adopting stray people? I have a similar problem.” I opened the door wider and Bucky was immediately rushed by a little ball of black and white fur. A solid thumping on the floor told me where his companion was as well. 

“That’s Rocky, and behind me is Bullwinkle, newest residents of the Tower.”

“And… Tony approved this?”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, opening my mouth to answer but instead, nothing came out and I just shrugged.

“That’ll go well, Kaida,” Bucky snarked back, bending at the waist to scoop Rocky up into his arms. 

“C’mon,” I protested, “has he ever really been able to tell me no before? No, absolutely not, I’ll just hit him with the big puppy dog eyes and he’ll cave like the loose side of a mountain after an earthquake.”

“You got me there,” Bucky chuckled, and then proceeded to coo at Rocky as my new puppy slumped over in his arms, totally nonplussed while being held by one of history’s most dangerous assassins. Though, considering that I was his new owner, he had to have been chill with all kinds of sketchy people. 

“Traitor,” I muttered under my breath, letting the door close behind Bucky as he stepped into my room fully. “So what’s up,” I asked, unsure of why Bucky was in my apartment, let alone still with me. And given my state of dress, it was a little… odd to be coming in for a social visit. 

“You’re obviously spiraling. Two dogs and a new future job? That’s a lot to take in.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I muttered, unable to meet Bucky’s eyes. No one else had been told about the conversation Tony and I had had way back when nor was it explicitly stated in today’s press conference. Truly, it might have been the best kept secret between all of the Avengers, both retired and active. 

“I’m not dumb, Kaida, and you should know that by now. Steve may be oblivious to everything going on around him, but Darcy and me, not us.”

“So if Darcy knows, why didn’t she come up?” I questioned, falsely indignant. 

“Well, between the two of us, I have the most… rational way of dealing with anything amounting to a crisis-level event. You know Darcy’s solution is usually vodka, or if it’s a code red, tequila.”

I couldn’t argue with him because he was exactly right. “You know, I had started coming to terms with everything that my future means and what Tony’s plans entail but to have all of that just tossed out into the open without being consulted… It’s a lot to take in honestly.”

“That’s perfectly understandable, Kaida. Steve still has issues sometimes when he wakes up in the morning and he’s been in this century for nearly a decade. These are some major, life-altering things happening around here. Have you spoken to either Tony or Peter yet?”  
I didn’t understand why he was even asking. The answer was going to be obvious to anyone who knew me. 

I was saved from answering by a knock on the door. FRIDAY unlocked the door as soon as I gave the verbal consent. 

“Speak of the devil,” Bucky muttered and set Rocky down on the ground. The door popped open and in stepped Tony Stark. “I’ll leave you two to discuss then,” Bucky announced, stepping awkwardly around Tony and back through the door. 

Tony met my eyes and opened to speak, but before he could get out a word, I huffed and turned on my heel, retreating quickly into my kitchen. As time had passed today my confusion and feeling of emptiness slowly morphed into anger. Anger directed at Tony. For not consulting me, for not asking my permission, for not even sending me a heads-up text that he was about to officially change my life forever again. 

Once in the kitchen, my eyes swept the contents of my counter, looking for anything to do with my hands or anything that could distract me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rocky lead Bullwinkle to the beds I had already had set up for them. They seemed to seamlessly fit in to my life here at the Tower which brought a smile to my face that only fell when Tony stepped into the kitchen. 

I made the rash decision to snatch the Scotch decanter off the center of my kitchen island and take a huge swig, wincing at the burn. 

Without a word, Tony began opening my cabinets, searching until he found two highball glasses and pulled them out, setting them on the counter and pulling the scotch out of my hands and poured two even glasses before capping the decanter once again. He pushed one glass towards me and picked up the other to sip on.

Tony was the first to break the silence. “Nice to see what you’ve done with the place. With as often as you bury yourself here away from the rest of us for the sake of ‘studying’ I would have thought it was a barely lit cave that was hardly fit for humans.”

I suppose he expected me to chuckle at that, but I just continued to glower at him. The scotch was hitting me harder than I anticipated. But that’s typically what happens when you don’t eat all day and then ingest copious amounts of booze in a short time. 

Tony opened his mouth to speak again but I was not having it. I held up a hand and set down my drink. Before I knew it I was screaming at Tony, brain just running on rage-pilot. As I continued to berate him for fucking with my life and forgetting to think about more than himself for five seconds, something that I knew was blatantly false, we moved towards each other. 

I got into his face, “I just can’t believe you would ever think this was okay Tony. I just… lately it’s all about the company and making sure I’m ‘ready’ whatever that means, but that really just feels like coded language to make me more suitable for you!” I exclaimed, emphatically poking him in the chest. 

At that, Tony’s face turned red and he grabbed my hand and tugged me so close we were chest to chest. “You know, I never took you for an idiot Kaida, but you truly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I huffed in indignation and opened my mouth to speak but before I could, my back hit the wall and Tony’s lips crashed down on mine. 

 

“Karen, where’s Mr. Stark?” Peter asked his suit’s AI as he clung to the outside of the Tower. It was time he had a talk with Tony. 

“Mr. Stark is currently located in Kaida’s suite, with privacy protocols enforced. If you would like to leave a message, it would appear as though he will receive it in the morning.”

Peter’s heart felt like it dropped fifty stories, all the way to spatter on harsh asphalt of Park Avenue. 

 

Across state lines, in a renovated, New Jersey warehouse, a woman stepped out of the shower and was handed a towel by a hulking man. Sitting on her counter was a brand-new curling iron and a box of colored contacts. 

She smiled broadly as she popped them into her eyes, covering up her baby blues for a muddled green. Her eyes were now nearly identical to the pair she’d grown up looking to for comfort before her sister had abandoned her. Now, she thought as she picked up the wand, she just needed to get the hair to match. 

Ten minutes later, the man stepped back into her bathroom and looked her up and down. 

“You look perfect Nadia, let’s go.”

Who knew being a twin would end up coming in handy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... if you didn't get it by now, hopefully, you're starting to see where all of this is beginning to head. Our heroes are certainly on a collision course of sorts.


	26. Technically Single

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends I am exhausted but I can't sleep, and these last 1300 words were a S T R U G G L E. But, I am house-sitting all tomorrow and this weekend so I won't have much else to do but write, so hopefully, chapter 27 is up by Friday morning.

The morning sun filtered through my gossamer curtains. Apparently in the frenzy of everything the night before I had forgotten to close the black outs, which I insisted by manual even though it would be extremely simple for Tony to set up a small pulley system that was fully operated by FRIDAY. It just felt nice to add that in to part of the daily routine as something I could do for myself. 

Speaking of a certain tech wizard, I rolled over to find the bed space beside me cold and empty. At that moment, the adjustment of my body caused the searing pain in my head to make itself known. I winced but rolled to sit up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed. The sun that just moments ago was bright enough to rouse me in my hungover state, passed behind a cloud, lessening some of the strain on my eyes and head as it cast my room back into relative darkness, especially as I advanced towards the kitchen. 

At first glance, nothing was out of place. I wasn’t naturally a tidy person so to have glasses strewn around or pillows in the middle of the floor or even clothes creating a path from the kitchen to my bedroom was pretty normal.

No, what struck me as odd was the utter cleanliness of the place. Nothing was out of place, and that was off-putting. I stood in the hallway between the kitchen and my living room until a loud burst of snoring sliced through the otherwise silent room. 

I rounded the corner as covertly as I could, casting my eyes towards my large sectional couch. There, wrapped in my biggest blankets, was Tony. On top of Tony laid Rocky, while Bullwinkle was curled around his legs. I nodded to myself, satisfied I wasn’t in any imminent danger, I silently backed out of the room and entered my kitchen, immediately opening the fridge and pulling out my carton of chocolate milk. I popped the lid off and was about to take a swig when someone behind me cleared their throat. 

I shrieked and nearly dropped my milk as I spun around to confront whoever was at my kitchen table. From the living room, the sounds of a repulsor firing up echoed and swift steps quickly followed. Tony quickly came through the doorway to see none other than Steve Rogers sitting, looking disappointed and righteous, as always. 

Tony groaned, and the nanotech glove receded back into his housing mechanism on his wrist as he flipped on the kitchen lights. 

“I thought you two were passed this foolishness by now. Don’t you know that when any two members on the team fight and throw emotions around like you two do, that it’s going to cause rifts that then throw everything off on missions. And Tony…” Steve trailed off, looking at him critically, “from what I’ve been told, you absolutely should know the kind of problems this could cause.”

“What do you mean ‘from what you’ve been told’. What the fuck is that even supposed to mean,” I interjected haughtily, “Tony and I are two consenting adults that are old enough to make our own mistakes and then handle them in a mature manner. What are you doing here anyway?”

Before Steve could answer, Tony raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and spoke, “Listen Steve, we didn’t actually do much of anything besides… well lots of kissing and groping. And then I put Kaida to bed because she was drunk and upset, and refused to keep her clothes on. So, I gave her my shirt to appease the she-gremlin and then came to sleep on the couch to make sure she didn’t get up to anything stupid if I left.”

“I beg your fucking pardon,” I interjected as Steve went to speak again. “If I remember right, and truly who knows because my head still hurts, you came on to me first, Stark. Also stop fucking hedging and tell me why the fuck you should know better?”

Besides Steve muttering “language”, silence seemed to press down on the room as neither of the men would look me in the eyes. I had felt it for some time now. Everyone in the Tower seemed to be tiptoeing around me, shooting meaningful glances at one another and I was at the end of my rope. 

“Fine, if you don’t want to tell me, I’m leaving. You know, I really don’t understand why you all continually insist on using kid gloves with me. I can fucking take whatever you all don’t feel like dishing. Anyways, page me if there’s a mission that pops up,” I concluded, melting away into the shadows and rushing my way out of the Tower faster than anyone else could follow. As I rematerialized in Grand Central I noticed all I had on were sleep shorts and what appeared to be Tony’s Def Leppard shirt. 

Thankfully, I had remembered to grab my purse before I made my exit and hopped on the S train, transferred a few stops later to a 3 and within half an hour I was at a Target just after opening. 

Twenty minutes later, I had on a decent set of clothes, underwear and all, and I was sitting in the food court, searching for apartments to rent in the surrounding boroughs that weren’t outrageously expensive and nearby. Oh and that allowed pets. If you didn’t know this about New York, that’s sometimes a tall order. 

“A little uh… arachnid told me I might find you here,” Peter said and I looked up from my phone with a groan. Standing in front of me in a gray hoodie and navy sweatpants, was perhaps one of the last people I needed to see right now. I was thoroughly unimpressed and I glared at him to tell him so. 

Peter, however, refused to take the hint and sat next to me, peering over my shoulder at my phone screen. “Oh, if you’re looking at Queens, you should live in the building that my Aunt May does, super nice. I would have bought her out of the neighborhood completely but she just didn’t want to leave Queens.” Peter continued to babble on about local bodegas and taking the train to school every day in high school. Any other time I’d be enamored with his animated story telling, but now it just felt like he was prodding a thorn that was already lodged in my spine. 

“What are you doing here Peter, really? Which one of the old men sicked you on me this time?” Peter’s back stiffened as our eyes met for the first time in days. His warm brown eyes were searching mine, but I couldn’t tell you what he was looking for or if he found it. 

“I’m here because I care about you Kaida. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our line of work leaves very little time for outside friends, even though I’m trying with Ned and the gang, none of them really understand what it’s like to make decisions or throw yourself at dangers that can end life as we know it on a regular basis. Also, I don’t know if you’ve somehow injured your head hard enough to induce short-term memory loss but just a few days ago I woke up in your bed, and you were saying something about taking it slow, what happened to that?”

“Well, I dunno Peter, typically people who are looking to date don’t keep massive, mutually life-altering secrets under wraps. At the very least, they give each other a heads up but um, that’s not at all what happened, is it?” Peter, at the very least, had enough sense to look ashamed as he flushed and ducked his head. 

But then he shook his head and glanced up at me, expression more guarded than any I’d see him wear before, “Guess we both have a problem saying no to Tony, huh?” I was dumbfounded, spluttering to come up with an answer, wanting to scream about how we were both technically single, when Peter stood up abruptly and left without another word. 

What a week, I thought to myself as I slumped back in my seat, closing my eyes and taking a deep, deep breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me sleep vibes pls it's been 40 hours and i need a damn nap already. also send me comments and asks. but mostly sleep vibes.


	27. Family Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :):):) some filler but we are BUILDING people. I'm throwing little hints in there that sometimes are maybe too subtle or not subtle enough so we'll see lol

Even though I was technically loaded, by way of Tony’s Stark Industries stipend and my Avengers income, not even the time stone could make real estate proceedings in New York move faster. Which meant I either needed to find a place to stay, or suck it up and confront everyone at the Tower. And man, my confrontation tank was running on fumes. 

I puttered about as I trudged back in the general direction of the Tower, ignoring shocked squawking from civilians who noticed and recognized me and the general sounds of a frantic New York on a Saturday afternoon. I let my mind wander, and the surrounding bustle and towering buildings faded away as I got more into my head than I had in a while. 

I don’t know how long I’d been walking when I suddenly felt a cold, wet nose brush up against my hand. I glanced down sharply to find a golden-haired, one-eyed mutt looking up at me and wagging his tail so hard it whipped all the way around to whack me in the calves. Not far behind was his owner, Clint. 

“Kaida, what a surprise to run into you here,” Clint spoke first, not at all convincingly. I slowed my pace to match his and Lucky happily trotted ahead of the both of us. 

“Two questions: what do you want and how did you find me Clint?”

“Well you know how the vents have ears? I-.”

“No Clint, the vents don’t have ears, the annoying blonde archer who lives in the Tower has ears and hearing aids to match and he’s the most prolific eavesdropper in history, probably, but continue,” I quickly corrected, annoyed at the reminder that literally no secret was sacred in the Tower. 

Clint scoffed indignantly, as though injured by my accusation, but continued, “well not only am I aware of the conversation you and Tony and Cap had this morning because it nearly came to blows after a certain someone left, but I know that Parker came and found you today and then went home and bitched about it to Natasha and I. From there it wasn’t difficult to track the pattern of city surveillance cameras that your formerly SHIELD tech bracelet knocked out as you passed through their line of sight. Plus, Lucky needed a walk.”

I rolled my eyes and glanced over at Clint. I wouldn’t necessarily call him a father figure. Clint was more like your uncle, super chill but you couldn’t get ANYTHING past them and usually they’d try to help you unprompted. But they also weren’t the most present people in your life. 

“Nice try Hawkeye, but I don’t have to see like sharp shooter to spot the way you just avoided answering my other question. Why did you come looking for me?”

Clint stopped abruptly, pulling Lucky over into a side alley, and I followed. “Sounds like the Tower might be a volatile place for you to go back to right now. In fact, both directors recommended that you take a beat. Maybe get some fresh air, country air, that is, for once.”  
“Both directors?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow quizzically. Clint leaned his back against the wall and propped a foot up, shrugging with one shoulder.

“Coulson is technically the new SHIELD head, but Fury still pulls most of the strings. It’s… an interesting bureaucracy snafu waiting to happen. Either way, it’s too easy for the team to find you in the city. And well, we aren’t really the closest people on the team, so my place should buy you a little time at least.”

“Barton, are you asking me to come home with you? Sly dog, aren’t you married? What a scandal.”

“You know Kai, you really make it difficult to be nice to you sometimes, especially when I’m trying to be serious.”

I waved Clint off before he could get any deeper into his rant. “Just take me home, stick in the mud. I need to pack a bag.”

“Actually, everything is already prepped for you in the car I parked just a few blocks back. You aren’t as unpredictable as you think. I knew you’d come with me one way or another. Do you have your phone?”

“Work or personal?”

“Either, you know that they can track you that way.”

I handed over my back up work phone to Clint, who then promptly chucked down a sewer opening. I didn’t even protest. 

The combination of New York traffic and the accompanying fade into woodland must have lulled me into a deep sleep, because the sound of a car door opening and the shrieks of a little kid roused me. I reluctantly popped the door of the SVU open and stumbled back to the trunk to retrieve my bags. 

Laura, or at least I assumed it was the notorious Laura, showed me to a guest room on the second floor of the farmhouse. As soon as she left, closing the door behind her, I unzipped my duffle and was immediately shell-shocked. The first item of clothing was Peter’s ragged MIT sweater. I quickly opened the drawers of the dresser that sat in the corner of the room. A black and gray flannel was the only thing in any of them. I quickly set that aside and filled the drawers with my belonging, hanging my suit and gear in the closet. It felt strangely domestic. I didn’t know how I felt about that just yet. 

“Hey Clint,” I yelled down the stairs after opening my door, “is this your shirt?” I showed it to him by hanging it over the banister. 

“Uh no, actually that’s Tony’s. He left it here, I dunno, probably about ten years ago. Hey Nathaniel, how old are you?”

“Dad you ask me that every single day, I’m ten and a half,” a kid who looked like the spitting image of his father but brunette answered. 

“Scratch that Kaida, it was probably actually eleven years ago, but he wears it every time he stops in the steal some of Laura’s pie under the guise of checking up on our tractors.”  
The men in my life were literally inescapable. Even when I left them far behind, somehow, they always followed. 

I changed into flannel pajama pants and an oversized Strand bookstore sweatshirt and ran down the stairs to join the Barton clan. Cooper and Lila were both close enough to my age that they were adults on their own now, or in Lila’s case, in college. But apparently, they both still either flew or drove in on the weekends to see their parents and younger brother. 

It was more than a little fascinating to watch a relatively normal family function. The ease that they had with one another, the way conversations flowed and the way everyone was open, at least open comparatively, to being around each other all the time. It was completely foreign to me. 

It was in that moment of realization that a felt a harsh pang in my stomach. I missed my sister and my nephew more in that moment than I had in the past eighteen months, give or take a year. That, our relationship after escaping Hydra, was the closest we’d ever come to having a family. I couldn’t help but feel as though I just kept failing my sister’s memory over and over again. 

“Why the long face, lady?” A small voice asked from beside me on the couch. Nate Barton was looking at me quizzically, eyes shining with mischief already. Yeah, this was definitely Clint’s kid. 

“I’m just missing my family is all kiddo. It happens.”

“Well why don’t you call them?”

“Nathaniel, you know that’s not polite to ask,” Laura called from the kitchen island where she and Clint were chatting. 

“Well”, Nathaniel whispered, leaning closer to me conspiratorially, “you can always start a new family. My older brother doesn’t have a girlfriend and neither does my sister. If you married one of them you could be part of our family! D’you wanna be my new sister, new Avenger lady?” The way he said is so somber and matter-of-factly, I almost answered yes on knee-jerk instinct, but I was saved from answering all together. 

Nathaniel squealed as large hands wrapped around his sides and hoisted him over the backside of the couch. I turned my head to see Cooper hoisting his brother up and setting him down only to immediately play wrestle him to the ground. “What did I say about trying to set me up again little man?” he asked in a playful growl.

“To no to again,” Nate answered, pouting. 

“Last time I had to delete tinder off every piece of tech I had. Guess I’m just going to have to tickle it out of you for good this time.” 

I smiled so widely my face hurt as peals of high-pitched giggles filled the room. I glanced around the room to see Clint and Laura just standing off to the side in each other’s arms, whispering back and forth. Lila was out on the porch swing, reading a textbook on something horrifically boring. 

If I wasn’t careful, I was gonna get accustomed to all this domestic shit, and boy, the world really did not need any mini-me’s running around. 

 

Back at the Tower, Pietro stepped out of the shower, rapidly drying himself off and changing into a pair of gray slacks and a steel blue shirts. It might be a little dressy for Rudy’s but he did have a date tonight after all. And thankfully, Pietro never had to worry about being late. He smiled and shot finger guns at himself before grabbing his wallet and zooming out the door to meet Kaida.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: I still haven't slept more than two hours a night for the past three days so if this is totally wack, that's what I'm blaming it on. Validate me! How do you feel about Clint, Kaida, Peter and Tony??? Also PIETRO????????


	28. Double Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double update, whaaaaat? you better believe it. sorry if it's bad, I'm exhausted but my hands kept writing so here you go!

The blood spatter pattern on the roof spun, making me dizzy. Although, it was probably my vision and not the blood that was spinning. They were coming for me. She was coming for me. I had to get away, had to keep him safe. Bright flashes of white sparked behind my eyes, like seeing single still shots placed in front of a projector. A badly twisted knee, a glowing orange syringe, soft brown eyes gazing in to mine. A pigeon coop smeared with bloody handprints. That same roof from a distance as though I was flying. 

I jolted awake, tears streaming down my face. It wasn’t the first time I’d had this dream. It wasn’t even the first time I’d had this type of dream. I didn’t get premonitions often, but when I did they were never good. This was one of three abilities I possessed that was well and truly mine. I hadn’t copied it from anybody, I had just been born with it. 

I rested my head between my knees and took deep breaths, in and out. I closed my eyes and pushed myself to find more details, to try to figure out where this path was leading me and if I could then do anything to alter it. But I could feel the details in the memories slipping away. I couldn’t nail down the shape of the eyes that I saw and couldn’t recall if they had crow’s feet or looked young. I couldn’t distinguish the shape or color of any of the buildings adjacent to the roof. I didn’t know who the mysterious ‘they’ and ‘she’ were. 

It was nearly impossible to deftly train for an invisible enemy but I sure as hell had been trying these past months. 

Scrawled in chicken scratch along my forearm was just the phrase ‘sweet dreams’. So much for that. 

I got up and made my way downstairs, lured by the smell of waffles. Clint stuffed one into his mouth as he all but ran out the door and in to the waiting Quinjet.

“He’s heading back to the Tower. It would get too suspicious if you both were gone at the same time. You can say a lot about the shortcomings of the Avengers, but not a single one of them is that dumb. You have to give them some sort of credit.” 

I simply shrugged and loaded my plate up high. With great power came great appetites. 

 

“We need to call a team meeting,” Steve said by way of greeting as he stepped into the common lounge. 

“I couldn’t agree more,” Clint said as he stepped out of the elevator, slightly out of breath. “You wanna send out the signal, FRIDAY?” He prompted the AI. “Let’s all meet in the debriefing room in 15 minutes. 

Sure enough, 15 minutes later and all the Avengers had assembled. With two notable exceptions. Clint searched the room one last time, just to be sure he hadn’t missed Pietro somewhere in the crowds. It wouldn’t be hard to do, there were so many of them now. But the speedster truly was nowhere to be found. 

Pietro had never missed a meeting before and he’d never been late a day in his life. 

Chatter continued in the room, everyone else aware that the meeting wouldn’t start until everyone was present or until someone called it and brought it to order. Clint walked over and pulled up a seat next to Wanda. “Hey witchy, you seen your brother recently?”

“Yeah, just last night. He ran out to go on a date. He didn’t say with who though, only that he was wearing his nicest pants and mentioned not to wait up for him. So he could still be pestering whatever poor girl he tricked into going out with him.”

Clint felt silly for worrying. Pietro was still a kid after all, at least in his book. Of course he was going out and staying out until ungodly hours. Satisfied, he cleared his throat and silence clattered through the room. “It’s time we all had a talk,” he began succinctly. 

 

A piercing ache cracked through Pietro’s skull as he opened his eyes. The room he was in was dark and humid. 

“Sorry for the accommodations, I know it’s not a suite at the Ritz-Carlton and it certainly doesn’t hold a candle to your private quarters at the Tower, but you know, certain precautions had to be taken. EMF physical fields just to make sure you’re nice and cozy in there for as long as you need to be.”

Pietro looked in the direction of the voice and saw Kaida standing on the other side of a glass panel. Only, as Pietro watched, she pulled down her hair which was stick straight and pushed her sunglasses up to reveal blue eyes so pale they almost looked like ice. 

“Kai? Why are you doing this to me? Whoever is making you do this, I can help you figure it out. You don’t have to be another plaything.”

“Whoever is making me do this? Honey, first of all, I’m not Kaida. Second of all, no one makes me do anything. We haven’t been formally introduced. My name is Nadia, and I’m the de facto leader of Hydra’s enhanced units. I’ve been tasked with recovering and returning all former Hydra property to its former glory. That means you, your sister, Barnes and well, my own sister as well. Technically Vision, but we aren’t really interested in what he has to offer. But, we are, I believe, laying a claim on Spider-Man, after all the spider that bit him was created at a covert science facility that did some of the best genetics work humanity has ever seen. But then Norman had to go and get himself killed. A shame, but we have everything we need, we just need to collect it.”  
“I-I don’t understand,” Pietro stuttered, pulse pounding and rage turning his vision red. 

“Oh, you didn’t see us coming? Welcome back home Pietro. Make yourself comfortable, I have a feeling you’re going to be here for a long time. You are a fighter after all. Ta ta for now!” With that, a flip switched and Pietro could no longer see behind the glass panel. He could only see his reflection. 

 

“This is impossible,” I huffed, slamming my coffee mug down on to the table again.

“If you were just patient, it wouldn’t seem that way,” Nathaniel sassed back, eyes still focused on the task at hand. Scattered across the table was a five-thousand-piece puzzle that, if put together, depicted a giant storm gathering on the horizon. It was agonizing. 

“Tell you what, how about Kaida helps you get ready for a quick nap and you can watch some TV as you wind down to sleep a little bit. And then when you wake up, you can revisit the puzzle.” Laura Barton, once again, saving my life. 

I nodded sagely, hoping that Nate wouldn’t put up a huge fight. I was still drained after getting no restful sleep thanks to my premonitory dreaming. Clint still hadn’t returned and I had no way of contacting him beyond Laura, and honestly, I just didn’t want to bug her and ask if she could check up on her husband for me. Not that the farmhouse wasn’t nice, I was just going stir-crazy. 

Then a thought crossed my mind. I had seen an old e-reader lying on a desk in the study earlier that day. If anything, now was the perfect time to get caught up on all the literature I’d missed out on from my sort of vigilante and then definitely Avenger days. And what are the woods good for if not to hang a hammock up to read?

Reading in the hammock quickly turned into dozing. I didn’t want to fall asleep again and risk reliving those nightmares. But I felt a gentle tug on my psyche, just like what used to happen when my sister and I wanted to get the others attention or comfort them without drawing attention to ourselves. 

I knew that it wasn’t real, just a phantom sensation, just like amputees have after they’ve lost a limb. But it was still more than enough to lull me into a deep, restful sleep. That of course was rudely interrupted by Lucky and Nathaniel Barton. But who could possibly be mad at a child and a dog?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D:D:D:D


End file.
